Think im making a breakthrough and i think its partly because exante:)

Discussion in 'Exante - Off Topic' started by wannabeaslimjim, 3 September 2011 Social URL.

  1. wannabeaslimjim

    wannabeaslimjim Silver Member

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    well its a loong and personal story but here goes and is hard for me to talk about as. it is like a classic out of ypur league story :

    at uni theres this girl I like/liked and well she's from cyprus so she went back for the summer she's skinny but in cyprus they have more of an anorexic culture you gotta be model figure, and before she went I took her on the "ultimate day in london" yano took her to some cool places got her a bear made from bear factory and got a pic which I got framed and gave to her as I kinda screwed up and said I lose touch with people easy, and she said she didn't wanna lose me, but anyway so she goes home, first thing what happens she has to go to a wedding and straight away her nan calls her fat...then at christmas she nearly got raped, and the guy hangs around her group of friends so she found it hard...so basically I spent a month on the phone and on skype, fb to be there for her whenever she needed me and I mean a month only other thing I did was eat and sleep, and turn down my friends invites to go places I even got her flowers delivered in cyprus - which she said no one has ever got her before!...she began to be ok and not go online as much so I got part of my social life back...then comes catastrophe number 2 she basically stops eating and turns anorexic and saying she's not losing weight she wants to kill herself which inturn killed me, and after another 3-4 weeks of being there for her she got over it, again that's all I did I didn't go out or anything...and remember i like her and im sure she knows during the first month she gets back with her cheating abusive boyfriend, and says hes the only thing that can make her happy and stuff, although hes blatenty still cheating on her and only wants an open relationship and then now everything going well she basically stopped talking to me it started with not giving any x's when saying bye, then not saying bye to not talking at all its been over 2 weeks since we last spoke in which sje said her bf might be coming over to see her in england, but she don't want her new flatmates to know he's her bf as its not a normal relationship and she might look for a new bf while she's here but her bf is being cute and romantic, something I was doing for the last 7 months! but she said that to me that when I compliment her its weird as she's not used to it!

    WELL at the start of the diet tbh I wasn't doing it completely for myself I thought would give me a better chance with her BUT NOW I've realised I'm doing it for myself, and she gets back on the 16-17th and I reckon she will text me or call me but I decided I'm gonna wait til I'm ready to speak to her, and gonna tell her everything from my point of view because I think I've discovered some self worth and I'm not gonna keep trying if she doesn't care, and say its upto her to make an effort now to be friends as I'm done trying... as seriously I haven't seen anyone care for her as much as me except in films...and they say girls like a bad guy...well I can be a prick to some people who annoy me but it takes a lot and I feel guilty for ages afterwards, I don't wanna be a prick I like being a nice guy infact I hate ppl like her bf as he is the kinda guy that makes say guys are pricks.I'm not gonna turn into something I hate to make other people happy I have basically got the old english gentleman thing down yano holding doors open, when walking ne by the pavement, doing chairs, id even open the door of the car if I had central locking! lool

    so I guess thanks exante to giving me some self worth, as I was losing faith after not too much measurement change

    most annoying thing is id probably do it all again...

    THE END:)
     
    Last edited: 3 September 2011
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  3. wannabeaslimjim

    wannabeaslimjim Silver Member

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    ( dunno why this post here)
     
  4. determinator

    determinator Banned

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    hey , it sounds to me like she doesnt realise how you feel and from what you say she would be very very lucky to have you . I think you are right , you need to tell her exactly how you feel and leave it up to her , you are right , women tend to go for bad guys , but in the end the guys they settle down with will be the good guys like you :) I wish you loads of luck and hope she realises how lucky she would be to have you x
     
  5. wannabeaslimjim

    wannabeaslimjim Silver Member

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    I know its meant to be a compliment when ppl say girls will settle down with guys like me because it means were the eventual winners, but I can't help but feel that in a way when people say that we are still a second choice maybe a better choice but still second... if you know what I mean
     
  6. determinator

    determinator Banned

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    no it doesnt mean that you are 2nd choice , it means that girls realise you are the best choice so stick around , its totally a good thing
     
  7. girlygirl1

    girlygirl1 Banned

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    I am a very giving person too - lots of overweight or once-fat people are, it seems to me - and naturally if you meet a taker they will... take. Some have done it all their lives so it is second nature. We are people-pleasers and cannot stand to see others we care about in any kind of pain so we knock ourselves out trying to help them. The taker does appreciate this but feels no compulsion to give back to us. They just accept the help, very good of you, ta, and get on with their lives, for good or ill.

    We can't always save people, you know? We can't save ourselves a lot of the time!

    How wonderful that you say you now have more self-worth and are losing the weight FOR YOU, and not just to get that girl or to just fit in or whatever. This long tough journey has to be FOR ourselves and about ourselves, and not merely to please others or to gain their acceptance.

    Good luck!
     
  8. lass321

    lass321 Gold Member

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    It is a bit of a dilemma as to why some people do not appreciate what they have until it's too late. It sounds like this girl is a bit uncertain of her own place in life. If her gran can be so hurtful to her it is not too much of a stretch to think that others in her family judge her harshly and she may be turning to Mr. Mean. because if he likes her she must be worth liking. You sound like the real deal but she is not in a place to know that yet. In her mind you are such a nice person that you would like her whether she was worth it or not. When she gets to a point where she recognises that she is worth loving because of who she is, not because some nasty piece of work rates her, she will probably dump him and, hopefully for her, end up with someone like you. I have a sneaking suspicion someone who can appreciate you for the lovely guy you are will snap you up before she gets to that stage. take care, Aunty Caroline.
     
  9. DustQueen

    DustQueen Gold Member

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    Jim some girls are stupid (luckily most of them grow out if it) I for one have never seen the attraction in arrogant t*ssers and so called bad boys
    My oh is a lovely man the nicest person I have ever met and the most wonderful attractive man I have ever met. He had little to no luck with women before he met me and I have no idea why. Why you meet the right girl you'll know and you won't have to change yourself x
    I'm so glad you are doing this for yourself now.
    Relationships should never be as one sided as what you were describing friendship or otherwise. You sound like a lovely man x
    Sorry for the waffle it's just things like this make me so angry x
    Hugs x
     
  10. wannabeaslimjim

    wannabeaslimjim Silver Member

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    cheers guys :) I dunno I'm gonna wait and see what happens, like i said I'm gonna talk when she gets back when I'm ready and tell her all this...and see what she has to say, there are two sides to every story after all, but before we even hang out as friends I wanna know she's committed to being friends, I can't and won't be a last resort when she's bored, I feel I deserve more than that
     
  11. wannabeaslimjim

    wannabeaslimjim Silver Member

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    and girlygirl she wasn't really a taker...everytime we hung out id try to pay for both and if I did she got moody and forced me to let her pay for stuff...before she went things were like almost perfect now, its a like a disaster
     
  12. lass321

    lass321 Gold Member

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    You sound like your head is in the right space. I hope she knows what's good for her!
     
    Last edited: 3 September 2011
  13. DustQueen

    DustQueen Gold Member

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    You do x
     
  14. TripleWhopper

    TripleWhopper Banned

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    She is not emotionally stable, likes cheaters which in turn makes her self-esteem be really low, and your feelings and needs are non existent in her list of things to worry about.

    My advice, based on my own experience is that some women are good and worth the trouble, some are definitely not.
    The ones who don't appreciate you, skip them! There are plenty of fish in the sea!

    The old adage, keep them mean, keep them keen, does not work.
    You don't need to be a jerk to women to have them appreciate you, women with good personality will see you as something to treasure.
    Conversely, trying to "oooh and aaahh" a women will not make her like you, if she doesn't.

    Spend your tears, your time and love to someone who deserves.
    Because someone who deserves, will not make you cry.
     
  15. charlie's~mummy

    charlie's~mummy Gold Member

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    She sound like she's using you Hun I'm sorry if that sounds harsh but you've given all your time to her an she's given nothing back never ever change for anyone someone somewhere will fall on love with you for YOU save your tome and energy for then big hugs xxx

    Sent from my iPhone love n hugs Kel xx
     
  16. bunny_hops

    bunny_hops Violet is shrinking

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    Exante TS was using Xenical and eating low fat and low cal. Exante baby!!!
    I can't remember who said it but, it's true that there are women who tend to end up a few bad men, they at some point will settle for a nice guy. My last 2 relationships were with bad boys, I won't bore you with the details but now I'm ready for a nice guy.

    You don't deserve to be treated like that, I hope you find the happiness you deserve :)
     
  17. TripleWhopper

    TripleWhopper Banned

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    Women tend to think that bad boys mean excitement and nice guys mean they are boring...

    Up until around the age of 30-35 they prefer idiots, then after that age they try to settle down and form a family.

    There are exceptions, but that's why we see a 57% divorce rate.

    My opinion is that women do not test men enough. Same for men.

    Don't ask me what I mean ;-)
     
  18. Nasher and Basher

    Nasher and Basher Full Member

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    I think the 'need' in a potential partner changes, from the 'cool rebel'- who was there to help rebel against mum, dad and society to 'security'- someone who you can trust, understands you and if wanted will be a great parent.
     
  19. TripleWhopper

    TripleWhopper Banned

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    Bingo! ;-)

    That's why my first girlfriend and kiss was when I was 25 lol
     
  20. wannabeaslimjim

    wannabeaslimjim Silver Member

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    UPDATE: she suddnenly starts talking again and first of all i didnt talk, and then suddenly she says why dont you talk to me its been ages since we last talked and this was on fb, where i know shes blatently blocked me on chat 4 like 3 weeks...
     
  21. TripleWhopper

    TripleWhopper Banned

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    Sorry to be blunt mate, but get rid of that b1tch and move on.
    Don't make the same mistake I did and let a woman play with your heart.
     
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