this is a tricky one hope some1 can help, advise bout my children and wills

Discussion in 'Slimming World Off Topic' started by kdub24, 25 April 2011 Social URL.

  1. kdub24

    kdub24 I Will & I Can!!

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    dont no if any1 can help its a tricky one.

    basically what worries me is what will happen to my children and there upbringing if anything was to happen to me. now it does sound silly i suppose but it does play on my mind. i have a son from a previous relationship and my son still sees hes dad and hes family regulary. i also have a daughter with my current of partner. i need advice on what wud happen if something was to happen to me. would my son live with hes father meaning both my children wud be raised separately my bf is more then dedicated and acts more of a father to my son, and he wud raise both my children together. i just cant imagine my children bein separated, is there anything i can do to make sure this wudnt happen, is it worth goin to a solicitor to see what i can do, or making a will maybe> x
     
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  3. Medusa

    Medusa Full Member

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    Yes, you need to make a will. Are you married to your current partner? Were you married to your son's partner? All this is relevant.

    Either way in your situation not having a will is foolhardy in the extreme. Get it sorted!! :)
     
  4. RegField

    RegField Silver Member

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    Every adult should make a will. It can cause endless problems if you don't. Your money and property may not go to the people that you want to receive them. And if you have a complex family situation like yours, then all the more reason to get your wishes down in writing.

    Why not start with a phone call to the Citizens Advice Bureau? They would be able to suggest a plan of action. Then you could stop worrying.
     
  5. Beegee

    Beegee The Big One

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    You should definitely make a will, especially as you are a parent. I did mine shortly after my daughter was born and it was worded so that it would apply to subsequent children. I saw an advert in one of those free magazines you get telling you what's on in your local area and someone came round for a meeting. Cost about £120 I think, worth it for peace of mind.
     
  6. Funky_Munky

    Funky_Munky Put the kettle on

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    Im not sure that a will would cover the raising or custody of your son. I would speak to citizens advice re this tbh.
     
  7. kdub24

    kdub24 I Will & I Can!!

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    ok thank you for ur help evry1. ive never been married but will try to sort a will out when i have the money didnt think it cost anything x
     
  8. Medusa

    Medusa Full Member

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    CAB shouldn't cost - the charge would be the (usually fixed) solicitors fee. Although in a complicated situation they may charge more.

    And notwithstanding your wishes the other parent may have rights that contradict your wishes, or even the child's if they are seen as too young. In my case I have stated my children should be raised by my close friend and her family who live nearby and have children my two ahev known all their lives but I know if anything happens to me before they are of age then their father (we were married) has the final say although I appreciate it might be difficult for him to take them on full time in his present circumstances.

    However, I have also arranged for my estate to be held in trust for them until they are 21 - which is a little more sensible an age than 18! Plus it means my estate can't be dipped into by their father and his current partner/offspring for their own ends - my brother and cousin (a financial advisor) are named as trustees.

    it's all very complicated. :D
     
  9. Clareel

    Clareel Gold Member

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    My mum did that for me and my brother only she put it until we're 25. Now have no money until then which is difficult but I can see why she did it.
     
  10. kingleds

    kingleds Gold Member

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    You will need to take into account any custody arrangements you have with your eldest childs father. If you have joint custody of any kind this will nulify anything you put in a will. Also definately put money in trust till at least 21. I got my trust fund at 18 and proceeded to p*$s it up a very large wall - and i was quite a sensible 18 year old ( albeit one with abit of a cinderella complex)
     
  11. RegField

    RegField Silver Member

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    The Citizens Advice Bureau is a free service and they will tell you whether a will is sufficient, or whether you need to make other arrangements.
     
  12. Starlight

    Starlight Gold Member

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    There was a programme on recently about making wills and featured the very scenario youre talking about. I believe the bottom line was you can make your feelings known about what you want but the childrens fathers cant be forced to comply with it.
     
  13. Medusa

    Medusa Full Member

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    The thing is you don't have to pay for a will. You can get DIY will kits from Tesco or WH Smith etc...you can even write it out yourself on a plain sheet of paper as long as it's witnessed and you make sure none of the witnesses are beneficiaries.

    BUT ... I'd only suggest that for the most uncomplicated scenarios. Anything involving minors with different fathers needs a more bespoke service. :)
     
  14. Starlight

    Starlight Gold Member

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  15. Happy Holidays

    Happy Holidays Gold Member

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    I'd speak to the people you would like to look after your children if you died. Then make a Will, I'd recommend having a solicitor write it for you. Yes you do have to pay but at least you know it will be correct, whereas if you DIY you really don't know if it is legal or not or if it would stand up in court.

    I'd recommend you also have people who you trust as trustees for your children until they are say 21.
     
  16. Happy Holidays

    Happy Holidays Gold Member

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    Just thought we have some info on why you should write a Will & additional Will info at work; PM me your address & I'llpost it to you;)
     
  17. Morgawr

    Morgawr Silver Member

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    Also sometimes there are times when a solicitor will take part in a scheme where a will will be produced for free, but a donation is required for a determined charity.

    Some of them do have restrictions like age, and I do know that some solicitors have a range of donations (depending on the complexity of the Will) they will take. However, some will do it for whatever you can afford/wish to donate.

    It may be worth ringing around a few solicitors in your area to see if they do take part in one of these schemes.

    Hope that makes sense:rolleyes:
     
  18. kdub24

    kdub24 I Will & I Can!!

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    sorry ladies havent been on to have a look at replies. thank u all so much.

    i am defo goin to look into it all, my prob is i havent got any money to pay solicitors so thats my fault but i was hoping i cud do it another way. i dont rele no but these things lol im too young. im goin to ask my nan tomoro. and maybe my nan cud be a witness??

    also lets say for instance i died tomoro (touch wood bit dull and gloomy to think of that but it cud happen) then that wud mean i wud leave my daughter from my current partner and my son from previous relationship, my partner wud want to raise both children together but as my bf dont think hes got any legal rights to raise my son? also my sons dad is in hes life and no that he wud take my son to live with him and hes gf (whos preg) now that wud mean my children will b raised seperately which i cant imagine. does any 1 no how i can make sure my partner will raise both children together or wud that never happen unless we married.

    sorry for that very long complicated story lol i wudnt b suprised if any of u dont get it. lol think i will pop in cab for that one.

    thanks again

    will pm u happyholidays :) x
     
  19. tpals

    tpals Full Member

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    Here your bf would have to legally adopt your son which would mean your son's father would have to agree. That would probably only happen if he really wanted to stop paying child support.
     
  20. tara40

    tara40 Loves Norman Reedus

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    I think that you should definitely speak to someone at the CAB, as it should be taken into account that the children should stay together, as not only would they loose their mum, but they would also loose each other. maybe your current partner and his dad would have shared custody.
    how old is your son, as a judge might take into account where he would want to live.
     
  21. helzzz

    helzzz loves SW!!

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    Is your previous partner is named on your son's birth certificate? If so he has parental responsibility regardless of whether he is the main carer. Your current partner does not have any legal rights to your son. This would not change even if you got married. The only way for him to acquire parental rights is to apply through courts for a special guardianship order or adoption order; both of these would require your son's father's agreement otherwise it is unlikely that court would find in your current partner's favour unless there were major concerns over you son's fathers parenting.
     
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