This is not meant to be negative, just a genuine ??

Discussion in 'Cambridge Weight Plan' started by Dancing, 28 February 2008 Social URL.

  1. Dancing

    Dancing Gold Member

    I've been reading the threads that those of you are doing re. staying on SS for x amount of days.

    I was struck by how many of you have signed up for the latest one and it got me thinking.

    Remember, I have been no angel myself these past two months. I had 100 days of complete abstinance on LL, had a holiday and now on CD have the ocassional blip (two in the last week which is a record for me and won't be happening again).

    However, I'm curious about the number of you who really struggle and especially about the number of people who are quite new to CD, relatively speaking, that are struggling.

    Do you think it is possible that a community atmosphere has developed that allows you to more easily "slip", "cheat", "fall off the wagon", admit to it, receive feedback in the form of "get back on the wagon", "just start again" etc. It has become the norm, almost no big deal, and I just wonder if that is kind of giving you permission to do it and not feel too bad about it.

    I'm not saying you should feel bad about it. I don't believe there is anything to be gained from that but I'm just wondering if it somehow contributes to you not taking responsibility for your choices and actions.

    I suspect this will come across as accusatory when it really isn't. I'm just really amazed at the number of people struggling to such a high degree and many so early on in the process. It is way more understandable for those of you who have been going for sometime now and only have a small percentage of your total weight to lose.

    I know that it is great to come on here and get support when needed. I've had to do it myself - I just wonder if another plan of attack may be needed.

    "Insanity is doing the same thing, over and over again, but expecting different results"
    Albert Einstein (attributed to Ben Franklin too)

    But can I finish by saying I truly support everyone in their efforts to SS and congratulate you when you achieve your mini goals. I'm just a little concerned but maybe that is because I was so committed when I first started this weight loss journey and my view is that the journey requires a deep level of committment at the outset in order to be successful.
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  3. Dancing

    Dancing Gold Member

    reply - i've just looked through again and think I may have been incorrect about the number of newbies struggling ... think the majority are people who have been there and done it before or trying to lose the last little bit. So I guess I worried about nothing.... oh well, I'll have to leave the post there and it may promote some discussion anyway - or be completely ignored :)
  4. ninababes

    ninababes Gold Member

    Dancing i can see where you're coming from in general it is easy to fall into the habit but i think a lot of it's also to do with being accepted, i think people are more likely to try again if they've got the support and reassurance that it can still be done despite a longer journey and rather than hiding away and not confessing their sins so to speak the people who do "fall off the wagon" are more likely to try again so it's a good thing aswell as a bad thing if u see what i mean xx
    Mini likes this.
  5. wigglychick

    wigglychick Silver Member

    I see what you're saying Dancing and I think it's a good point to make. I think really, when somebody is upset that they've eaten something they shouldn't have then nobody wants to upset them any further...although there is I suppose something to be said for what they call Tough Love.
    I'm a bit 'no nonsense' about CD at the moment - my attitude is that I'm either doing it properly or I'm not doing it at all. I'm fortunate that my head is currently in the right place I suppose but what do you say to somebody who IS struggling ?
  6. Time4ME

    Time4ME MUST get a grip


    Obviously I can only speak for myself..... But I did LL didnt pass the 100 days, resented the whole darn thing of 100 days not eating... Cheated, blipped you name it.... I found the group atmosphere pain in the butt, I wasnt cheating to begin with others were and losing far more than me week in week out....

    Now I am doing this 'stand alone' I have not cheated, nor do I want to (each day at a time obviously)..

    I think that possible if you have a certain amount of SS/abstainance then you see this almost as the finish line rather than the end of the first bit - almost like it gives you the option to eat when you have finished....????

    Also - if you get to a point and then 'take a break', with your weight loss journey your priorities have change ie if you had 5 stone to lose and you've lost the bulk of it then try to 'return' the urgency of what you planned is not as urgent as it was when you started.

    This is why I think goal setting and re-aligning your goal posts is crucial.

    I am a re-starter, this time I have approached this in a different way to prior attempts... Being slim and reaching my goal is more important to me than the actual physical side of eating. The 'satiated' feelings I used to get from feeding myself have been replaced with the feeling that being slim and losing the weight is far more important.

    I'm not sure what on earth I am waffling on about now as I've completely lost track of what the bloody question was....
    Mini likes this.
  7. misscheeky

    misscheeky Gold Member

    hiya dancing. I can see where your coming from. Now as everyone knows on here i had a blip last week (quite bad) but I can honestly say if it wasnt for the support in here I would be back up to 20stone feling like a fat miserably cow. Its great to see other people going through the same thing, even with clare there our scales stuck the same week and we had great losses the next. I think getting it off your chest really really helps. For me food doesnt even taste the same as before I started cd I actually felt sick after eating i just got it into me as fast as i could :(

    its a good point to make though.
    xx becky xx
    Mini likes this.
  8. Daisy_Duke13

    Daisy_Duke13 Full Member

    Goal Weight:
    Being a newbie myself, I feel that if someone has fallen off the wagon then it perhaps feels worse than it would further in because you may feel like you have stumbled at the first hurdle so to speak and that you cant do anything right.
    If people were not so supportive and nice then they may feel like saying "sod it" if thats the best i can do i may as well give up now.
    Everyone is different with their attitudes to food and find the massive change of the SS harder than others, obviously everyone finds it incredibly hard but people cope differently. Also...everyones in different mind sets about the diet.
    Personally...if i fell off the wagon as i nearly have then deep down having support and encouragment to carry on with the diet would make me feel no better about what i have done, it would just help me put it behind me. Something i have always struggled with in the past.
    Well...thats my opinion anyways!
  9. Dancing

    Dancing Gold Member

    lol time4me.

    Yeh, I agree with you all. I just had a moment of concern if newbies were struggling so much in the early stages.

    wigglychick. I'm like you as I mostly have a no nonsense approach but also I've been in the other place too where I don't know what happens and this ridiculous addictive instant gratification thing overcomes me and sends me into a crazy zone where I feel the need to get crap food down my throat.
    Time4ME likes this.
  10. Time4ME

    Time4ME MUST get a grip


    I think we've all been there at some point or other.... I think its amazing how many of us, think we're alone then you come here and realise that you're not alone and others are also trying to get a grip on their addicition or the fact that food is love not fuel?????

    Really interesting post Dancing - I love this sort of thing, makes you think about things alot more than just 'being on a diet' which almost sounds like when I've finished I can do what I was doing back at the beginning ..... NOT

    We must accept that this is a point in our lives where me must change our whole approach to food and eating in general, the SS/790 or abstaining is just the first part, where if you do it properly you really need only do it once and for a relatively short period of the rest of your life.

    As Icemousse said, if you embrace this time rather than fight it kicking and resenting it you are far far far more likely to succeed!

    I, personally have total single mindedness - I am not here to fail, I am here to beat this! I am sick of being controlled by food, I have chosen this path to overcome this & the people here like all of you have helped and support me - for that I salute you all xxxxxxxxxxxxx
    Mini likes this.
  11. wigglychick

    wigglychick Silver Member

    yes, I think we've all been in that place unfortunately :sigh: I'm viewing CD as a learning thing at the moment because it's made me realise how much I associate food with enjoyment of an occasion. Yes, I've eaten when I'm bored, fed up, depressed, to treat myself etc. and I thought that these were my triggers - as well as a genuine liking for the taste of food leading to too much on my plate and continuing to scoff when I am full!

    What is becoming clear to me though is that, say for example when we go out for the day...I was looking forward to the picnic and if we go to the cinema...I was looking forward to the Starbucks and cake! It took me a few weeks to actually realise this (I'm probably slow!) but I have to say it was and still is a bit of a shock to me. :eek:
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  12. Dancing

    Dancing Gold Member

    I can relate to that wigglychick (I was going to abbreviate your name but it became wc so I'll type it in full).

    i think for me one of the main roles of food in my life has been that it fills up a "lack" and that has a link to my needing to space my packs out during the day and leave one until the very end of the day "just incase" hunger overtakes me. I fear "lack". If food is what has habitually replaced all lack in my life (love, intimacy, happiness, emotion, etc, etc), there must be a real fear in me if that replacement is gone too.

    Ever since I started this I've wondered it it might be better for me to break the pattern I have of leaving a pack until the end of the day (evening/last thing at night has always been my weak time of day around food).. I might have bigger breakthroughs if I teach myself to break that habit and that there is nothing to fear.

    ......... I think this thread is going to go off on a tangent but hey ho :D
    Mini likes this.
  13. Time4ME

    Time4ME MUST get a grip

    There's nothing wrong with a little digression - keeps us all on our toes :D
    Mini likes this.
  14. blue_grapefruit

    blue_grapefruit Gold Member

    Im gunna be honest here and say that due to this being a flying visit i have only read dancings post.

    Can't agree more matey. I know that if i cheat i can just get back on the wagon. Oli said to me yesterday "so what if your antibiotics mean you arent losing through ketosis, stop letting yourself down and get on with it"

    Never ever have i heard that boy say something like that.

    Worked though xx
  15. Porgeous

    Porgeous Chilling

    Start Weight:
    Current Weight:
    CD SS
    Really tricky one this Dancing as I can see both sides of the discussion. I think for some the support and encouragement they receive when having a blip is what helps them to get back on the wagon and without it they may never try again. On the other hand there was a post I read ages ago about surrounding yourself with people who "allow" you to continue cheating by telling you it doesn't matter and just get back on the wagon. There is certainly a place for tough love because it is fundamentally the truth that we sometimes just don't want to hear.

    Got me thinking though this one.... good thread!

  16. Dancing

    Dancing Gold Member

    yep, it is a double edged thing and maybe it is just down to each of us to think about what motivates us at each point of posting for support and each point of teetering on the brink of a lapse. We know in ourselves what is driving us if we have the courage to look at it. Some won't want to look for various reasons. Some are more inclined to do a bit of self exploration too.

    BG/Leah - think that sometimes when we are ready for it, that type of comment will work for us. I know that sometimes with me though my ears are closed to anything that may have me face up to things and continue to make the choices that see me reach my goal.

    I guess my view is the more we consider things the more open we will be to other possibilities in more challenging times.

    have a good day everyone. Hope you are doing ok georgie
    Porgeous likes this.
  17. Mumof2girls

    Mumof2girls Full Member

    I am a relative newbie (14 days today)... I can see your point Dancing. I failed after 10 days on LT last year and once I had that first break (one slice of toast)... I lost the plot. Felt disgusted with myself, that I was a failure, that I will never do it, that everyone here is so much better than me. I was in a really low place and I turned to comfort eating once again and piled my weight back on and more. I didnt post on here as I was too ashamed.

    There are two sides to this, firstly I have just gone through a 'will I break it' dilemma, before the event, and I posted about this. The support I got back has 100% convinced me that its not worth it, and reminded me why I am doing this in the first place and brought me back to where my mindset was when I started this diet. I can see the other side of it though, having seen so many people here hit 'glitches' in their diet, and getting back on the wagon, I do feel that I am just like everyone else and have probably allowed myself a little more freedom to just accept a glitch, then get back on.

    The further I get into this diet, I am hoping that I will change my whole attitude towards eating.

    I think the bottom line about breaking the diet, even for something small, is that it is prolonging the diet another week or two, and the least amount of weeks that I can be on this for, the better!
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  19. KD

    KD Gone fishing

    Was Cambridge, now maintaining
    Tough love? I really don't think it works well on a forum, not being able to read the body language etc. People misunderstanding what is meant.

    But, though I think that anyone who cheats should still feel comfortable talking about it on here, it can appear to be a norm as people who sticks to it 100% would probably not keep mentioning it (no need and all that).

    We all know what the chatterbox can be like, and how quickly we can find excuses to cheat....and it's easy to think that it's the norm, and cheat because everyone else seems to being doing so. IYKWIM.

    I know that in the past, I've been much better behaved when the rest of the others in 'whatever club' have been 'good'. All illogical I know:confused:

    I will repeat again though. Anyone who slips off that wagon should feel comfortable to fess up here without receiving tough love. After all, we beat ourselves up enough. Don't need assistance ;)
  20. Dancing

    Dancing Gold Member

    I COULD NOT AGREE WITH THIS MORE. One of my biggest drivers to not cheat is to get this over and done with as quickly as possible and minimise the amount of time i'm "denying myself" .... however, if I bear in mind Icemoose's words about fighting it rather than embracing it - that attitude may not be the best one. I guess all different strategies need to be called upon at different moments
  21. Dancing

    Dancing Gold Member

    I agree 100% with everything you wrote here
  22. Dancing

    Dancing Gold Member

    except maybe with the tough love comment .... sometimes it works for some people. And I guess sometimes I have given out a little tough love myself. And I'm always happy to receive it. But I appreciate it isn't always appropriate ... hopefully I've chosen my moments/people correctly (think I got it wrong once that I'm aware of)
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