This one's for Sammy!!! :)

Discussion in 'Orlistat (Xenical)' started by toofatkat, 28 September 2011 Social URL.

  1. toofatkat

    toofatkat Not such a fat kat now :)

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    You will all appreciate this ....

    This morning I was lying in bed trying to make myself get up, I was reading the Healthy magazine from Holland and Barratt. In the adverts at the back I saw a picture of a rather limber woman lying on her stomach but with one leg twisted back up and over her head, but this is what it said ..

    FART with CONFIDENCE

    Fart Filtering Underwear:8855:

    www.myshreddies.com :8855:

    I havent been able to bring myself to check it out yet, I thought Sammy would do it for us!:)
     
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  3. bunny_hops

    bunny_hops Violet is shrinking

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    [​IMG]


    :8855: Fart filtering undies!!! lol!.... I can't help but wonder how these work? :D
     
  4. sammyd

    sammyd Full Member

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    omg i feel violated!..
    have a little bran.. tell a select few, and suddenly im the butt of every one's jokes!.. i even managed to have one emailed to me yesterday from some one ive never even met, "this ill share with you all in a bit" i found it amusing!!... :rolleyes:
    thanx bunny for at least thinking about lil old me.. yep still tooting like i good un, and got to the stage now that i just let em go without a second thought!!!..
    things do seem to have settled down a little now in the toilet department, sooo im down to just the half a box of albran and numerous fibre-gel,s a day!..:eek:
    had a little peek at the scales this morning and things still aint looking that good for this week either!.. although if im honest im far from the disciplined sammy that i was!..
    hope your all well, and was wondering ware you get them special pants from and will they make me look like that??.. "bloody cheek from all directions!.. uuuurgh.

    DO you fart in bed? IF THIS STORY DOESN'T MAKE YOU CRY FOR LAUGHING SO HARD, LET ME KNOW AND I'LL PRAY FOR YOU. THIS IS A STORY ABOUT A COUPLE WHO HAD BEEN HAPPILY MARRIED FOR YEARS. THE ONLY FRICTION IN THEIR MARRIAGE WAS THE HUSBAND'S HABIT OF FARTING LOUDLY EVERY MORNING WHEN HE AWOKE. THE NOISE WOULD WAKE HIS WIFE AND THE SMELL WOULD MAKE HER EYES WATER AND MAKE HER GASP FOR AIR. EVERY MORNING... SHE WOULD PLEAD WITH HIM TO STOP RIPPING THEM OFF BECAUSE IT WAS MAKING HER SICK. HE TOLD HER HE COULDN'T STOP IT AND THAT IT WAS PERFECTLY NATURAL. SHE TOLD HIM TO SEE A DOCTOR, SHE WAS CONCERNED THAT ONE DAY HE WOULD BLOW HIS GUTS OUT. THE YEARS WENT BY AND HE CONTINUED TO RIP THEM OUT. THEN ONE CHRISTMAS DAY MORNING, AS SHE WAS PREPARING THE TURKEY FOR DINNER AND HE WAS UPSTAIRS SOUND ASLEEP, SHE LOOKED AT THE INNARDS, NECK, GIZZARD, LIVER AND ALL THE SPARE PARTS, AND A MALICIOUS THOUGHT CAME TO HER. SHE TOOK THE BOWL AND WENT UPSTAIRS WHERE HER HUSBAND WAS SOUND ASLEEP AND, GENTLY PULLING THE BED COVERS BACK, SHE PULLED BACK THE ELASTIC WAISTBAND OF HIS UNDERPANTS AND EMPTIED THE BOWL OF TURKEY GUTS INTO HIS SHORTS.. SOME TIME LATER SHE HEARD HER HUSBAND WAKEN WITH HIS USUAL TRUMPETING WHICH WAS FOLLOWED BY A BLOOD CURDLING SCREAM AND THE SOUND OF FRANTIC FOOT STEPS AS HE RAN INTO THE BATH ROOM. THE WIFE COULD HARDLY CONTROL HERSELF AS SHE ROLLED ON THE FLOOR LAUGHING, TEARS IN HER EYES! AFTER YEARS OF TORTURE SHE RECKONED SHE HAD GOT HIM BACK PRETTY GOOD. ABOUT TWENTY MINUTES LATER, HER HUSBAND CAME DOWNSTAIRS IN HIS BLOODSTAINED UNDERPANTS WITH A LOOK OF HORROR ON HIS FACE. SHE BIT HER LIP AS SHE ASKED HIM WHAT WAS THE MATTER. HE SAID, 'HONEY YOU WERE RIGHT.' 'ALL THESE YEARS YOU HAVE WARNED ME AND I DIDN'T LISTEN TO YOU'. 'WHAT DO YOU MEAN?' ASKED HIS WIFE. 'WELL, YOU ALWAYS TOLD ME THAT ONE DAY I WOULD END UP FARTING MY GUTS OUT, AND TODAY IT FINALLY HAPPENED. BUT BY THE GRACE OF GOD, SOME VASELINE AND TWO FINGERS. I THINK I GOT MOST OF THEM BACK IN! LMAO.....:8855:
     
  5. toofatkat

    toofatkat Not such a fat kat now :)

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    Lol that's fantastic but horrific to think about. Very funny

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  6. fit-by-30

    fit-by-30 will not be fat and 30

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    That's funny!

    I think I know how they work..... They make the wearer so unattractive to the opposite sex that they end up alone and therefore able to fart at home without upsetting anyone else :D
     
  7. sammyd

    sammyd Full Member

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    Lol...... So if ya fella dropped his trousers and stood there looking like that, you would just laugh!!!.. Godddd I'm old :-/
     
  8. bunny_hops

    bunny_hops Violet is shrinking

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    LOL!! that's hilarious :8855:

    Everything seems rather....ermmm compacted lol!
     
  9. toofatkat

    toofatkat Not such a fat kat now :)

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    I did check out the website . I'm afraid there were womens versions as well - equally unflattering :)

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  10. sammyd

    sammyd Full Member

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    Well I for one wouldn't mind looking like that!!.. In fact if I did I'd walk round in me undies most of the time, even if they are anti farting pants!!.. I'm thinking the back dont look so compact though.... Massive ford mondeo air filter bulging out I'm thinking! .... Now that might take some explaining.... Lol x
     
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