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This will be the last time (I hope☺)

S: 14st9lb C: 13st12lb G: 11st7lb BMI: 32.3 Loss: 0st11lb(5.37%)
#1
Okay so a bit about me......
I am 44 years old and mother to 2 children. I have always been conscious of my weight and body size. Despite many attempts (both successful and unsuccessful ) my weight has bounced between 9St 7lb and 15 stone. I am fed up of this dieting merry go round. I am also fed up of being so conscious of my weight in front of everyone.
I have tried to fool myself over the years telling myself I look fine and maybe I do to others. But deep down I feel ashamed of my size and embarrassed that I let myself go.
So this is the start for me. I am following SW as I like their plan but I am not going to obsess about it. It's a plan to get me back in the frame of mind of healthy eating.
I also plan to weigh myself once a month. This is also to help me not obsess over the pounds coming off. So on the last Monday of each month I'll weigh in.
My goal this week is drinking more water and snacking on healthy foods. My job can be stressful and I work from home so the temptation is in my kitchen 24 hours a day. This is the toughest habit that I will have to break but I am going to work on it.
I do not plan to buy any sweet treats this week and I am going to see how we all get on as a family. We could all benifit from a reduced sugar and fat intake. Treats will be kept for the weekend - including my glass of vino and some cheese.
I also plan to check in here to keep myself motivated. I hope to get to know some people out there in the same boat and we help each other along.

So until the next time - going to keep drinking my water and eating healthy snacks
 
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Jenny_b

Gold Member
S: 17st7lb C: 12st5lb G: 10st5lb BMI: 27.9 Loss: 5st2lb(29.39%)
#2
Hi,

best of luck changing your eating habits and getting to goal.

I also lose and gain, its so annoying.

I snack on raw carrot sticks, usually peel and chop them every morning and leave them in a tub in the fridge for when I get peckish between meals.

x x
 
S: 14st9lb C: 13st12lb G: 11st7lb BMI: 32.3 Loss: 0st11lb(5.37%)
#3
Hi Jenny
thanks for your tip -It really is about having the right stuff to hand so when you go looking for a snack it is there is something at your finger tips. Also I think by not having any other crap in the house i have no excuse to feed on anything else.

You look like you are doing really well - 2 stone lost, that's brilliant. Well done you.

xx
 
S: 14st9lb C: 13st12lb G: 11st7lb BMI: 32.3 Loss: 0st11lb(5.37%)
#4
Woke up this morning and I felt a bit strange. then I realised I was actually HUNGRY. I laughed to myself cos its the first time I have felt actually hungry in a long time. I could only get out to the shops last night to get a proper shop in so last nights tea was gulped down in 5 seconds flat. It was only some beans & a slice of toast and I paid for it later. I found myself picking away at bits and pieces for the night. So lesson learnt:
a- have the right food in the house to make up a healthy meal
b- sit down and enjoy my food.
It wont always be possible to do this but it is a good reminder to myself to at least try it out.

i am also thinking of doing a daily mantra to myself, you know tell myself at least twice a day that I am a fantastic person and I really do deserve to be happy. Sounds corny I know but I find I can get really stuck in negative thoughts that can bring my humour down and we all know what that can lead to!!!!

But for now I am continuing to drink my water- 1.5l yesterday ( my kidneys dont know what has hit them :p:p) and eating healthy snacks
 

Jenny_b

Gold Member
S: 17st7lb C: 12st5lb G: 10st5lb BMI: 27.9 Loss: 5st2lb(29.39%)
#5
Hi Jenny
thanks for your tip -It really is about having the right stuff to hand so when you go looking for a snack it is there is something at your finger tips. Also I think by not having any other crap in the house i have no excuse to feed on anything else.

You look like you are doing really well - 2 stone lost, that's brilliant. Well done you.

xx
thank you, I'm feeling loads better for being 2 stone lighter, only 4ish more to go.

best of luck sticking to it and getting to your goal x x
 
S: 14st9lb C: 13st12lb G: 11st7lb BMI: 32.3 Loss: 0st11lb(5.37%)
#6
Bit of a crappy day, my humour is brutal. Maybe its the sugar crash hitting but I have been really grumpy. I am also feeling really tired -I thought eating healthy was supposed to give you energy!!!
Aside from my humour I did well today food wise. No crap eaten so far and I have drank my water too. Getting into the swing of avoiding the rubbish. Even managing to say no to the kids requests to buy nice snacks ie sweet stuff. I always thought I had a healthy food attitude with my kids but I now realise that I give in to their requests for treats very easily. Maybe it's because I dont want them to feel deprived like I did when I was growing up. My mum wouldn't buy us nice things cos she couldnt afford to but now I am a mum and I have money I seem to want to fulfill a childish need in me by having cupboards full of all kinds of food. I am trying to accept that it is okay to have healthy stuff in tbe cupboards or even have empty cupboards!!I don't need to have full cupboards of crappy food as a measure of my success.

I know I am now rambling but it helps to put these ideas on paper and make some conclusion from them.
 
S: 150lb C: 141lb G: 120lb BMI: 25 Loss: 9lb(6%)
#7
Maybe try some gentle exercise, if you can? Or yoga? It releases endorphins in your brain and makes you feel happier and more energized :). Or maybe a quick power nap to restore some energy?

You're doing amazingly well! Don't worry about the rambling, I'm just the same, once I start writing I can't stop xD it's good that it's helping you figure some things out, dieting and weight loss is a mental shift as well as a physical one :). I look forward to following your diary, keep going! x
 
S: 14st9lb C: 13st12lb G: 11st7lb BMI: 32.3 Loss: 0st11lb(5.37%)
#8
Maybe try some gentle exercise, if you can? Or yoga? It releases endorphins in your brain and makes you feel happier and more energized :). Or maybe a quick power nap to restore some energy?

You're doing amazingly well! Don't worry about the rambling, I'm just the same, once I start writing I can't stop xD it's good that it's helping you figure some things out, dieting and weight loss is a mental shift as well as a physical one :). I look forward to following your diary, keep going! x

Thank you so much for your words of encouragement. It's great to be able to come on here and chat with like minded people who don't think you are nuts for the things you write downo_Oo_Oo_O
 
S: 14st9lb C: 13st12lb G: 11st7lb BMI: 32.3 Loss: 0st11lb(5.37%)
#9
Today has been overall a better day than yesterday. Food wise I have stuck with my plan and no emotional stuffing my face☺ Only hiccup was a small scone I ate. I say small and it was quite small but my 12 year old son had baked them all on his own and I honestly couldn't say no to him. But I did make sure I sat down and had my cup of tea with it. I ate it slowly and mindfully without any jam or butter. Rather than feeling guilty and beating myself for eating something off plan I feel fine. It was a lovely treat to have and I am quite proud that he made them without having to ask me for any help. Mind you he needs to learn a bit more about cleaning up after yourself in the kitchen......
 
S: 150lb C: 141lb G: 120lb BMI: 25 Loss: 9lb(6%)
#10
Thank you so much for your words of encouragement. It's great to be able to come on here and chat with like minded people who don't think you are nuts for the things you write downo_Oo_Oo_O
It really is a lovely community, there's just no judgement here :). Sounds like you're doing really well, and don't worry about the scone - it's important not to let dieting take over our lives too much, you've got to live a little too ;). And besides, what's a small, home-baked scone with a cup of tea compared to junk food that's produced n a factory and stuffed full of sugar, additives and preservatives? I just looked it up on MFP, your scone was probably only around 150 calories at most! I'm glad you enjoyed your little treat, sounds like your son did a wonderful job! x
 
S: 14st9lb C: 13st12lb G: 11st7lb BMI: 32.3 Loss: 0st11lb(5.37%)
#11
well the weekend came and went..It was one of those i don't have time to sit down weekends. I was playing taxi to my kids for various sports activities so didn't have a whole pile of 'me' time. But I did go to the hairdressers on Saturday got my 8 weekly colour and cut. Thought I was looking good until my darling son told me my hair looked like a pudding bowl cut - he wasn't been mean or cheeky, that was his way of giving me a compliment. I think he has a lot to learn yet on how to give a woman a compliment!!!

Anyway food wise the weekend wasn't the worst. No emotional shoveling down food at all. No poking my head into the cupboard and taking a handful of whatever I can find. I remained very measured and controlled. Had my half bottle of wine on Saturday which would normally be a trigger to go into the fridge and pile up a plate. I did up a plate with some cheese and grapes and munched away on that, with no second helpings. Doing okay with the water, getting into the habit of having a bottle to hand everywhere I go, especially when I am out and about.

I am tempted to weigh myself this morning as I am a week into this but I have to stop myself. This isn't about a number on a scale, this is about changing my eating habits and the eating habits in our home. I don't need a number on a scale to dictate to me how I should be feeling about myself. This is a journey about me finding myself again and not allowing food play such a huge role with my emotions.
I do feel so much better in myself. My trousers are not as snug as this day last week so I figure I am doing something right. Mentally I feel a lot clearer. I am definitely in the Zone, of course I always worry about what will happen when I fall out of the zone but from today I am starting to practice a little bit of Mindful meditation. This is to help me bring myself back to the here and now and not fall into the trap of worrying about what happens in the future.

So my goals for this week are:
Eat normal healthy meals in a controlled mindful manner
Continue to hydrate with water
Practice mindful meditation at least once a day.

Let's see how it goes :)
FBxx
 
S: 14st9lb C: 13st12lb G: 11st7lb BMI: 32.3 Loss: 0st11lb(5.37%)
#12
Feeling really bloated and gassy this evening -not sure what has caused it. I know its an embarassing topic but I guess we are all friends here:rolleyes::rolleyes::rolleyes::rolleyes::rolleyes:.
Maybe its my system adjusting to all this really healthy food!!!!!
Anyway bloated tum tum aside been a good day again. Good food choices and keeping my water by my side everywhere I go. Did my 5min mindful meditation at lunch.

I think that covers me until tomorrow.
xxx
 
S: 150lb C: 141lb G: 120lb BMI: 25 Loss: 9lb(6%)
#13
Feeling really bloated and gassy this evening -not sure what has caused it. I know its an embarassing topic but I guess we are all friends here:rolleyes::rolleyes::rolleyes::rolleyes::rolleyes:.
Maybe its my system adjusting to all this really healthy food!!!!!
Anyway bloated tum tum aside been a good day again. Good food choices and keeping my water by my side everywhere I go. Did my 5min mindful meditation at lunch.

I think that covers me until tomorrow.
xxx
I've been feeling bloated these past couple of days too, although I think it's my period, it makes me feel so bulky and I really hate it o_O. Hopefully it will ease off for you soon, keeping my fingers crossed! Well done for today :) x
 
S: 14st9lb C: 13st12lb G: 11st7lb BMI: 32.3 Loss: 0st11lb(5.37%)
#14
Well I am back. I am a little annoyed at myself. When I started I promised I would only weigh myself once a month. Don't ask me why but this morning I weighed myself less than 2 weeks in. Yes the scales showed a good story (5lbs lost) BUT it has set off the dieting trigger in my head. I now see I have lost weight so I have the voice in my head back telling me it's okay to pick at food, you have lost weight.....I sound crazy I know but I just want this time to be the time I learn to eat healthy for life not just for the time I am loosing weight.I have now put the scales away from sight so I can't be tempted to go on them again until the end of the month.
After that rant it wasn't too bad a day, as mentioned I found myself looking in the fridge to see if there was something to pick at. I wasn't hungry at all as I'd just eaten my supper. I did pick at a few grapes cos there isn't anything else treat wise in the house to pick at☺
I just need to remind myself to be mindful of what I am eating and how I am eating it.
Water intake good and did my 5 mins mindfulness at lunch time again - nearly fell asleep I was so relaxed in the moment
 
S: 17st7lb C: 12st5lb G: 10st5lb BMI: 27.9 Loss: 5st2lb(29.39%)
#15
well done on the loss. try not to beat yourself up about weighing yourself. I've been obsessed with the scales in the past so this time I said that I'd only weigh once a week, but then really wanted to every morning, it was a daily struggle not to weigh so I decided to allow myself to weigh whenever I wanted. now that I've told myself that I'm allowed, I'm not quite as bothered to get on them as much. I'm trying to assess my relationship with food/dieting and the scales. maybe it would be useful for you to look at those things, what makes you want to pick because you've lost weight etc.

best of luck x x
 
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S: 150lb C: 141lb G: 120lb BMI: 25 Loss: 9lb(6%)
#16
Congratulations on your loss :D! And like Jenny said, try not to beat yourself up over it - becoming obsessed over your scales is a mental thing, and by turning the fact that you weighed in too early into a big deal, you're turning the scales themselves into a big deal too. At the end of the day, it's how you feel that matters more than what the scales say, so just allow yourself to celebrate weighing 5lbs less and move on ;). As for picking at food, for most of us I think it's become a habit, and the best way to break that is just to stop yourself from doing it as much as you can, over time the urge will lessen and you'll be able to break the habit. Just keep filling up with nutritious, healthy meals, and allow yourself a healthy snack if you get hungry :). I'm glad the mindfulness is working so well for you, too :) x
 
S: 14st9lb C: 13st12lb G: 11st7lb BMI: 32.3 Loss: 0st11lb(5.37%)
#17
Thank you so much Jenny and Cloud for your words of encouragement. I am taking your advise on board Jenny and decided I can weigh myself when ever I want to. I think by doing this it will stop me thinking I am breaking rules, which very often in my head translates into failure....weird I know.! By giving myself a break and allow myself to be flexible this journey will be a lot easier. Even today my head is in a better place so that issue is now resolved- again Jenny thank you for your imput.

Also Cloud you are right that it is all a habit especially when picking at food. It is a downfall of mine but it is totally a habit that I know I can break. I just need to be careful and aware of my actions particularly when I am stressed or bothered by something.

Overall today was a good day. Was out with work today so water intake a bit lower. ...I couldn't keep stopping the car for the loo breaks.
 
S: 17st7lb C: 12st5lb G: 10st5lb BMI: 27.9 Loss: 5st2lb(29.39%)
#18
Thank you so much Jenny and Cloud for your words of encouragement. I am taking your advise on board Jenny and decided I can weigh myself when ever I want to. I think by doing this it will stop me thinking I am breaking rules, which very often in my head translates into failure....weird I know.! By giving myself a break and allow myself to be flexible this journey will be a lot easier. Even today my head is in a better place so that issue is now resolved- again Jenny thank you for your imput.

Also Cloud you are right that it is all a habit especially when picking at food. It is a downfall of mine but it is totally a habit that I know I can break. I just need to be careful and aware of my actions particularly when I am stressed or bothered by something.

Overall today was a good day. Was out with work today so water intake a bit lower. ...I couldn't keep stopping the car for the loo breaks.
I'm glad you are giving yourself a break :) losing weight is hard enough, so the easier we make it the better.

something else that I do that might help is, when I feel like picking at food, I drink a glass of water and then wait 10 minutes, at the end of the 10 minutes if I still feel like eating then I will have something healthy like a carrot or an apple, 95% of the time I no longer feel hungry or feel like picking at food. I read that our brains often confuse hunger and thirst signals so by hydrating yourself, you may find that you no longer was to pick. If you do, you've given yourself 10 minutes to think what you are going to choose, time to plan a healthy snack :) good luck x x
 
S: 150lb C: 141lb G: 120lb BMI: 25 Loss: 9lb(6%)
#19
I'm glad you are giving yourself a break :) losing weight is hard enough, so the easier we make it the better.

something else that I do that might help is, when I feel like picking at food, I drink a glass of water and then wait 10 minutes, at the end of the 10 minutes if I still feel like eating then I will have something healthy like a carrot or an apple, 95% of the time I no longer feel hungry or feel like picking at food. I read that our brains often confuse hunger and thirst signals so by hydrating yourself, you may find that you no longer was to pick. If you do, you've given yourself 10 minutes to think what you are going to choose, time to plan a healthy snack :) good luck x x
That's a really good idea, I may have to borrow that if you don't mind? :) x
 
S: 14st9lb C: 13st12lb G: 11st7lb BMI: 32.3 Loss: 0st11lb(5.37%)
#20
Today was one of those mental days at work. Why is it that everything kicks off at 3pm on a Friday? ?? Next week is going to be hectic but no point worrying about that now, i'll deal with it when it comes around. Enough about that it is the weekend now and I am so ready for the wind down. Not much on either this weekend which is always good. If it doesn't rain tomorrow I might tackle the garden, it hasn't been touched in months and I am in the mood for doing a bit of tearing and dragging. I find I get lost in my own world when I do physical work. I also get a great sense of satisfaction when I do this type of work. When you spend your day stuck in front of a laptop it's nice to get out it the fresh air. So fingers crossed it stays dry.
Today I cooked buckwheat. First time ever having it. Easy to cook, I just used it as part of a salad. Found it quite filling and satisfying. It's something different to try and would certainly eat it again. Didn't drink as much water today as previous days but I did this on purpose. I found I wasn't as bloated or crappy in my stomach. I think I might have been drinking too much water all at once trying to fill myself up. Have been sipping away to and all seems better with my tummy.
Well that's my ramblings for today

Happy Friday everyone
 


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