Time for a little light relief!

[Maximus]

Due to a sexist post I made the other day The Feminist Society now has my address Fortunately none of them can read a map


I asked 100 women at the leisure centre what shampoo they used whilst showering?
95 percent replied "WTF are you doing in here?"


To be is to do - Socrates
To do is to be - Sartre
Do Be Do Be Do - Sinatra


I asked a pretty, young, homeless woman if I could take her home, and she said yes with a big smile. The look on her face soon changed when I walked off with her cardboard box.....

The Life Guard spotted me having a pee in the swimming pool. He screamed so loud, I almost fell in !

A man has been prosecuted for feeding marijuana to captive seabirds. Apparently he left no Tern unstoned.

 

[interested92]

I dream of a world of freedom. a world where a chicken can cross the road without its motives being questioned.

(also my husband can't read maps and I can. go figure.)

 

[Maximus]

Any more for any more?

 

[interested92]

some people deserve a high five.


in the face.


with a chair.

 

[Tinytootz]

What did the green grape say to the purple grape?

Breathe, idiot! BREATHE!
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Did you hear about the fire at the circus?

It was in tents
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What do you get if you cross an elephant with a kangaroo?

Sacked from the zoo
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Why are there no painkillers left in France?

'cause Paris-ate-em-all.
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[Lonestitcher]

Candle.

 

[Liverbird52]

A man goes to the dr dressed in nothing but cling film,dr says I csn clearly see you're nuts!

 

[dabhand]

A new middle east crisis erupted last night as Dubai Television was refused permission to broadcast 'The Flintstones'.

A spokesman for the channel said....

'A claim was made that people in Dubai would not understand the humour, but we know that people in Abu Dhabi do'

 

[fs22]

I was going to tell you a joke about cheese......But i'm too mature.