To lighten your day...

Discussion in 'Atkins Diet' started by spottydoris, 7 September 2011 Social URL.

  1. spottydoris

    spottydoris Determined to succeed!

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    I don't know if it is just me that feels like a bear with a sore head with this change in weather - but I found this on one of my old Annaphylactic threads and thought I would share it over here...

    WEIGHT LOSS PROGRAMME


    A man calls a company and orders their 5-day, 10 lb. weight loss program.

    The next day, there's a knock on the door and there stands before him a voluptuous, athletic, 19 year old babe dressed in nothing but a pair of Nike running shoes and a sign around her neck.
    She introduces herself as a representative of the weight loss company.
    The sign reads, "If you can catch me, you can have me."

    Without a second thought, he takes off after her.

    A few miles later huffing and puffing, he finally gives up.


    The same girl shows up for the next four days and the same thing happens. On the fifth day, he weighs himself and is delighted to find he has lost 10 lbs. as promised.

    He calls the company and orders their 5-day/20 pound program.

    The next day there's a knock at the door and there stands the most stunning and beautiful woman he has ever seen in his life.

    She is wearing nothing but Reebok running shoes and a sign around her neck that reads, "If you catch me you can have me."
    Well, he's out the door after her like a shot.

    This girl is in excellent shape and he does his best, but no such luck.

    So for the next four days, the same routine happens with him gradually getting in better and better shape.

    Much to his delight on the fifth day when he weighs himself, he discovers that he has lost another 20 lbs. as promised.

    He decides to go for broke and calls the company to order the 7-day/50 pound program.

    "Are you sure?" asks the representative on the phone. "This is our most rigorous program."

    "Absolutely," he replies, "I haven't felt this good in years."

    The next day there's a knock at the door; and when he opens it he finds a huge muscular guy standing there wearing nothing but pink running shoes and a sign around his neck that reads,"If I catch you, you are mine!!!"

    He lost 63 pounds that week.
    __________________

    On a slightly more 'inspirational note", found these quotes for pepping you up:

    Ellen Degeneres
    You have to stay in shape. My grandmother, she started walking five miles a day when she was 60. She's 97 today and we don't know where the hell she is.

    Benjamin Franklin
    You may delay, but time will not.

    David Viscott
    You must begin to think of yourself as becoming the person you want to be.

    Eleanor Roosevelt
    You must do the thing you think you cannot do.

    George Bernard Shaw
    You see things; and you say "Why?" But I dream things that never were; and I say "Why not?"

    Ralph Marston
    Your goals, minus your doubts, equal your reality.

    George S. Patton
    You're never beaten until you admit it.

    Lee Iacocca
    You've got to say, I think that if I keep working at this and want it badly enough I can have it. It's called perseverance.

    Unknown Author
    You don't drown by falling in the water. You drown by staying there.

    Unknown Author
    You don't realize how strong a person really is until you see them at their weakest moment.

    x
     
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  3. ladyfelsham

    ladyfelsham Clean green leafy machine

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  4. Alpaca

    Alpaca Gold Member

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    Perfect start to a grey day! Thank you for posting! :)
     
  5. Ruby31

    Ruby31 Member

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    Thanks, enjoyed those :)
     
  6. roosnanny

    roosnanny Gold Member

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    haha,made me chuckle.:D
     
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