Hi. this is my first day of TS. Excited, nervou, worried, stressed out my head that i wont be bale to do i, that i will let myself down (again) that i wont lose weight....all of the daft ideas that go through your head.
I have put on several stone over the past 6 years - now weigh 14st4lbs and pretty much disgusted, hate myself, disappointed - all the usual mix of emotions. Have tried lots of diets which usually dont last long, then i fail, beat myself up, eat more, hate myself more......and so the pattern and cycle continue.
So whats different this time? well....... hopefully my hea dis in a better place. Also, my last kid left home to branch out on his own recently, so there is just me and hubby at home. so the time feels right to be focusing on myself. No more excuses about cooking different meals etc etc, having to have biscuits, crisps etc in for kids.
I want to lose the weight....REALLY want to. I feel like ive lost myself, lost my identity and sense of who i am as the weight has gone on. I now find myself at 42 years of age not really sure of who I am in terms of my hair, clothes, style etc. The clothes i like and used to wear dont fit and lok ridiculous on me. The clothes designed for 'bigger' people are horrible - i dont wat to wear tops with butterflies and sequins on. My husband and kids say to wear what i want, and tell me i look nice - but the mirror doesnt lie and I just feel uncomfortable so hide in standard issue black trousers and baggy tops.
This isnt meant to be a woeful story - just putting it out there - because to be honest i dont really admit any of this to anybody, its shameful and embarrassing to be this size. I have read lost of teh posts on here and hope that some of you will give me the support that i will need over teh coming days, weeks and months. In return i will offer my support to anyone who thinks it will help. It would be great to have someone who has recently started to talk to, but all offers gratefully received and will be responded to.
This is the heaviest ive been, but it IS IS IS the last time that my scales will show this number too.
Heres to day one!
I have put on several stone over the past 6 years - now weigh 14st4lbs and pretty much disgusted, hate myself, disappointed - all the usual mix of emotions. Have tried lots of diets which usually dont last long, then i fail, beat myself up, eat more, hate myself more......and so the pattern and cycle continue.
So whats different this time? well....... hopefully my hea dis in a better place. Also, my last kid left home to branch out on his own recently, so there is just me and hubby at home. so the time feels right to be focusing on myself. No more excuses about cooking different meals etc etc, having to have biscuits, crisps etc in for kids.
I want to lose the weight....REALLY want to. I feel like ive lost myself, lost my identity and sense of who i am as the weight has gone on. I now find myself at 42 years of age not really sure of who I am in terms of my hair, clothes, style etc. The clothes i like and used to wear dont fit and lok ridiculous on me. The clothes designed for 'bigger' people are horrible - i dont wat to wear tops with butterflies and sequins on. My husband and kids say to wear what i want, and tell me i look nice - but the mirror doesnt lie and I just feel uncomfortable so hide in standard issue black trousers and baggy tops.
This isnt meant to be a woeful story - just putting it out there - because to be honest i dont really admit any of this to anybody, its shameful and embarrassing to be this size. I have read lost of teh posts on here and hope that some of you will give me the support that i will need over teh coming days, weeks and months. In return i will offer my support to anyone who thinks it will help. It would be great to have someone who has recently started to talk to, but all offers gratefully received and will be responded to.
This is the heaviest ive been, but it IS IS IS the last time that my scales will show this number too.
Heres to day one!
