Unsupportive Family/Friends??

Discussion in 'Slimming World' started by Simmy1978, 15 March 2010 Social URL.

  1. Simmy1978

    Simmy1978 Full Member

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    How do you guys deal with this?? i'm lucky that my hubby really supports me but other friends and family just do not understand! :( i've already been told by my GP that i am at risk of diabetis if i dont lose weight (cuz my brother is diabetic as well) but no one understands!

    They feel offended if i say i will make my own food and even more offended if i dont go!!

    I am supposed to be spending 5 days with them over Easter and i have seen their plans for food its all fried indian food!! what am i going to do>>>:cry:
     
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  3. julie19

    julie19 Silver Member

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    Explain to them that you have to do this for health reasons (you can always embelish it a little) and just say to them that it will be easier for you to bring/prepare your own food for when you stay, explain that you do like their cooking but you do have follow a particular eating plan and you don't want them to have to buy in lots of different foods for you & you don't want them to have to cook a separate meal for you all the time. You could also try compromising slightly as well and having maybe one meal with them that they cook? It is hard when they do not understand but you just have to be dead straight with them, if that doesn#'t work then the only thing I would do is say that you are sorry but you cannot go.
     
  4. Simmy1978

    Simmy1978 Full Member

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    sadly not going isnt an option! :( i'm happy to stay the same for period of time that i am with them but i do not want to gain! luckily i will be cooking for a day or two which means i will have some control!!

    but is this only me?? do seriously have the most disillusioned unsupportive friends and family!

    Note: this isnt even my immediate family they are extended (sister in laws brother in laws family friends etc!!)
     
  5. Woodsylou

    Woodsylou Silver Member

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    they sound very unhelpful! i am very lucky with mine. i would just turn up with a truck load of meals for you which you can put in the freezer, then you can cook yours at the same time as they cook yours. if they complain tell them to put a cake in it as you want to be slinky soon and this is just what you have to do.
     
  6. Simmy1978

    Simmy1978 Full Member

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    ok here's my plan of action what you have said has given me an idea!!

    Take loads of superfree fruit and mullers for me to have for breaky!

    and for lunch and dinner if i have one third of whatever is cooked or less if its deep fried! and fill the rest with salads and veggies

    and no or very little syns do you think this will keep me the same??
     
  7. Kikikisses

    Kikikisses Silver Member

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    Possibly but wouldn't they rather you ate your own stuff than leaving loads of theirs?
     
  8. *EB*

    *EB* Gold Member

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    i think your suggestion is great, but if there is fruit and veggies on offer, maybe you just have 3/4 of your plate full of this and then some of theirs - they might not even notice - i find the less fuss, the easier it is....

    or go along the 'medical' health issues route and explain that you have been given strict medical guidelines on food - its a white lie, but one they may listen to?

    best of luck, it is hard - i know where you are coming from as when you go to other peoples houses for food, you cant tell them to cook you something different - its being caught between a rock and a hard place.


    I am lucky - most of my friends & family understand the plan to a level, so cook enough for me to say I will have XY and Z....but no AB or C! and i am fully in charge of the cooking at home so no problems there!

    x
     
  9. Simmy1978

    Simmy1978 Full Member

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    i think they would be even more offended if i had none at all! :confused:

    But they forever take the mick out of me for wanting to be healthy i am forever being taunted and called vain for it too!!

    since when did wanting to be healthy become a crime??

    I'm not a size zero still wanting to lose weight i am overweight i have acknowledged that and want to do something about it!
     
  10. avisk

    avisk xx

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    "I have been ordered by my doctor to follow this diet, and lose weight, or I might die. Do you want me to die?"

    OK - it's a bit overdramatic, but it might just shock them into realising that this is serious.

    But if there is really no reasoning with them, then you just have to ignore them and carry on doing what you know is right. Take your own food, eat it, and don't listen to anyone else.
     
  11. Simmy1978

    Simmy1978 Full Member

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    lol i like the idea of shock tactics!! oh and the other one is alcahol i'm not a huge drinker i never have been but they all drink like there is no tommorrow!

    and after one which is all i am happy to drink its a case of "one more go one one more ur not pregnant so have another one!!!"

    plan b! get new friends!! :sigh:
     
  12. avisk

    avisk xx

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    My father, who was not a great drinker, had a way to deal with people who kept insisting he had a drink. He let them fill his glass, set it down beside him - and didn't drink it!

    The glass stayed full, and no-one offered him another one because they assumed that someone else had topped up his glass.
     
  13. gonnabesmall

    gonnabesmall is doin this

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    i havent told my family im dieting.they can now see though that i have lost weight but not once have i had a compliment.i get sarcy comments like for example..were going to the pub thiis fri for my sons birthday and we had to pre order from the menu.my mum said "what are you having?a lettuce leaf.
    i dont know if its a tad bit of jealousy or what.also get comments like,yeah thats cos you dont eat and your face is looking gaunt and ive gone to far o i could go on.
    my sister is very supportive(cos shes following sw too)and thats great we compare weight losses once a week,but my other sister whos about size 0 dosent like it either.
    like you say some people dont understand at all do they,but im doing this for me ,no one else.
    i started this last september at 14st and 3lb now i weigh 12st,alltoghether ive lost 31lb and i feel great

    so you do what you feel is right

    best of luck honey xxx
     
  14. tinkerbellsmum

    tinkerbellsmum Gold Member

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    r we related my sister/bro inlaws r just like this when we go to there house snacking all the time etc and drink loads and i don't drink. (very rarely)
    they do expect me now that i don't drink but i have found alittle way around the drinking think if u r in a pub. if u go to the bar by lemonade or coke and tell them its vodka and coke or achers and lemonade aid etc but when they ask u if u want a drink say just a lemonade please or whatever think i've had to much or i'm pacing myself. honestly they won't know i've used this one before.
    food wise could u say i'll cook i love cooking (whether u do or not) and make the meals with healthy foods or frylight and slimming world way bet they like it better once they have tasted it.
     
  15. Meli

    Meli Gold Member

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    On a few occasions I've taken my own food and wasn't really bothered if they were offended or not. On others, I would just eat SuperFree Food throughout Breakfast/Lunch and just have a bit of what they are having for dinner and it didn't seem to make much difference in the losses that week.
     
  16. Simmy1978

    Simmy1978 Full Member

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    wow some really good suggestions thank you all soo much i feel better about going now!! but seriously, i sometimes wonder how these people can go on with such unhealthy lifestyles!! binge drinking and no concept of food control what so ever
     
  17. lemon_fizz

    lemon_fizz Full Member

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    Hi Simmy, I totally relate to the problems you are having. My family were the same, trying to ply me with alcohol and all the food seemed to be deep fried or covered in butter. However, they are all dead now so I don't have the problem.
     
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  19. Simmy1978

    Simmy1978 Full Member

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    Lol!! sadly i still have that problem!!
     
  20. pesty

    pesty Fighting the bulge

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    Simmy,

    Probably a bit late with the recommendation but if you take loads of mullers etc and just snack like mad on super free ./ free food that way it wont look like your dieting cuz you'll be eating loads and you can ask for a small portion at meal times because your so full. Try to snack in frnt of them, they dont know that mullers are free!! lol.

    Alternatively whilst their cooking dinner make a mamouth salad or mound of veges and add it to your meal taking the naughtiness down to a minimum, then if they dont want it you can have the 'cant let it go to waste' attitude.

    Suggestions for snacky things are HEXA 3 x babybel lights, HEXB 2 alpen light bars and low syn things such [as if its hot] have solero shots there little flavoured ice balls made by walls and are 1.5 syns per pack!! Also Ainsley Harriott cous cous is 1 1/2 syns per pack and stuff like that!! lol Also a good one to remember is take some low syn sauce Ex light Mayo, bbq sauce (1 syn per tblspn)

    If drinking alcohol at a pub buy yourself a diet coke and ask for it in a short glass, they wont know it hasnt got vodka in it!! Or alternate your drinks, or drink really slowly that way they'll all get drunk so quick they wont know whats going on!!


    Hope this helps!

    xx
     
  21. soccermom

    soccermom I AM A WEMITT x

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    Hi simmy I am going to be having exactly the same problem so can completely sympathise.

    I am going to spain in 3 weeks to stay with mum and dad, I dont have the greatest relationship with my mum and she knows I am on sw but has booked for a day at a chocolate factory :eek: not sure what the intention was with that, but I shall go and smile politely and not try anything :D

    However I have a plan of attack and will be following the plan as much as I can and I am defintely switching to the extra easy.

    I definitely agree about filling your plate with healthier options before anything else and will take that piece of advice myself :D

    Good luck and stay strong we can do it.
     
  22. JosieDelonge

    JosieDelonge Full Member

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    Sometimes it sounds like a bit of jealousy as some people can't control themselves around food and get jealous when someone they know can take control of what and how they eat.

    If they still pick at you when you're down to target, you'll know it was just jealousy over how you took control of your life.

    Remember you are doing this for you, and you will be better off for it - emotionally and physically.

    Do what you need to do to keep yourself healthy, don't worry about offending them if you say no to their food, or by taking your own. You've made the effort to go there and spend time with them so they can make the effort to support you.

    Don't let them make you feel like you're being a 'spoil sport' by not drinking or bingeing with them.
     
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