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Unsupportive friends....: (

#1
Hi all,

i went out for dinner last night with my friends and they were rubbish about my diet!! they made me feel like i would never get to my target, so now i feel like ive got a really unachievable target : ( hhhhmmmph. do you think its unreasonable???:

Start weight : 12.8lb
Current weight : 12.0lb
Target (eventually) : 9.7st / 10st

Thats what i was when i was 18 and was really happy at that weight, im now 25. I dont think its unreasonable, they were saying it like my body wasnt capable of being that slim anymore because of my framE!! i felt rubbish!! am i just being over sensitivbvE?? (am due on : () haha x encouragement please people x x
 
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munkypooh

Warning-Contains Nuts
#2
My goal is 9 st 7 so it sounds very reasonable!!

Only question would be, how tall are you? I'm 5 ft 6....that makes 9 st 7 ok for me (I could go to 8 st 8 according to BMI but that would be ridiculous for me!!!)
 
#3
im 5'4
 

Annie68

Silver Member
#4
I don't think it's unreasonable to be honest. I'm 5' 3" and should be anywhere between 9 and 10 stone according to my Dr, but on the archaic weight charts I should be 8 stone 9!! yeh right!

Are they jealous of what you've lost already? Are you prettier than them and will pose a threat if you get slimmer? It's amazing how good friends can quite easily feel threatened.

The other thing is, they may not be sure of who you will be when you are at goal. they may think you'll change as a person and they are quite happy with the person you are already. Friends don't like change because they are unsure of it.

TBH, I wouldn't tell them your goal weight if they are going to make you feel kerappy about it. Just get on and do it for yourself. If that's where you want to be.. then go for it!! I wish I were 9stone 7 :(
 

munkypooh

Warning-Contains Nuts
#5
9 st 7 sounds totally reasonable then! It shouldn't take to too long to get there either!!

I went from 12 st 2 in March to 10st in June, this year. Gained a little over summer as I had a break, and I'm just heading for my final target now. I don't do SW but I CC so, probably similar losses each week.

Good Luck! You'll make it I'm sure :)
 

sonban

Addicted to Minimins
#7
I think 9st7Lbs is a very reasonable target weight. Nothing against your friends but it sounds to me like they are jealous. You show them and get to your target. Good luck you can do it.

I remember when I was a about 18 I told my friends that I was 11 stone and the look of horror on their faces and the gasps of horror too made me feel hideous and enormous. All I could think of was I must look like awful. I dont see them anymore and at my biggest I hit 20 stone. I would kill to be back to 11 stone now. What I am trying to say if friends are not supportive like mine wernt dont let them win. You show them you can do it you will feel so good when you do.
 

mod-karen79

rainbows holiday buddy :)
#8
i would say it's pure jealousy.

either that or they think you look fine the way you are. i know someone who was a size 14 who went on lipotrim. as a size 24 i thought she was completely mad and couldn't understand how she could be unhappy at the weight she was - she looked great. i would have killed to be a size 14 and wouldn't even consider a diet if i was that size.... but it just shows that everyone views others differently, so it may just be that they don't see you as someone with a weight problem and are concerned that you're so unhappy at an already ok weight. :)
 
#9
well it's the same target i have, I started at 13st 4lb, 5ft 3in, and only have 13lb more to lose, but people are now saying i am too skinny and look old and should stop.....according to my BMI i am still overweight, I wanted to get just under the overweight bmi and fit comfortably in a size 12...which isn't skinny...not compared to size zero......:eek:

I am sure it is just jealousy...you carry on and prove them all wrong.....then they will be green eyed monsters....:mad::cry:
 
#11
Sorry your friends havent been supportive, i have a few who are the same but i put it down to there insecurties (sp?). I think thats a very achieveable target. Its only you who can dertermine what target you feel good at? Least the girls on here are all supportive. Keep your chin up and prove them wrong x
 
#12
its funny that little red eye'd monster that comes out when you get to being in a different league from your friends. The comments start like you have lost enough etc etc. you will know when u feel happy and healthy dont let anyone tell u other wise.

I started off at nearly 25 stone and i would like to be 11 but ever one keeps telling me i ll never be 11 stone and should aim for 13, Granted i would be happy at 13 but we will see. Maybe they know that if they say i cant do something i ll bend over backwards to prove them all wrong.

Debs x
 
#13
I think your target is totally achievable! Don't let them get you down, when you get to your target and prove them wrong they'll feel terrible and you'll look fab!! Don't let insensitive friends ruin your confidence & determination :)
 
#14
Hi... I am really sorry to hear that your friends are not supportive towards you life changing.... as others have said... they are jealous... and yes it I would say that.. they are used to you being you... the one who is always there... maybe always there for them... and you have to consider a lot of people don't like change.

I do fully empathise with how dissapointing it is to find friends that you put your trust in seem to make you feel like crap... well girl... your not crap.. your a great human.. your photo is stunning and your goal is your goal and you will get there... You may not be the same shape you were at your ideal weight as you were when you were younger but that is womanhood for you. But it is achievable.

The sad thing is that those that you confide in have made you feel like that... but you do have a lot of people on here who will support you... and I am one of them... So you hold your head up high.... I said HIGHER lol and go out there and do this for YOU... and smile all the way. Don't let them get you down.. you always have us :)

Oh I have rambled and ranted on.. just that some people really get on my nerves especially when you are trying so darn hard!!
 
#15
Ignore your friends, weight loss brings out the worst in our friends and even family you have no idea what my sister was like when I was a size 16 she kept buying me clothes size 24 saying it was time I covered up my fat ass! and she is grossly over weight and always has been. The problem lies within themselves....keep at it and you will soon be to goal...xx
 

Mindy

Dreaming of being slim!
#16
I'm sorry your going through this with your friends. I have a simialr thing going on right now. they are completely behind me diet wise but whereas before the diet i used to go to town shopping twice a week and out for lunch a couple of times a week i now go to the gym and swimming and i know i do tend to say 'sorry i cant im going to gym this morning' a lot the wise comments 'ahh youve no time for your friends now' are starting to creep in and its getting me down a little bit to be honest. hubby says if they are true friends they will be there for me all the way and will encourage me to think about me for once. same with you i think if they are true friends they will be there for you every step of the way...once they know you mean business and the jealousy is out of the way they will come round hun im sure xxxx
 
#17
i would say it's pure jealousy.

either that or they think you look fine the way you are. i know someone who was a size 14 who went on lipotrim. as a size 24 i thought she was completely mad and couldn't understand how she could be unhappy at the weight she was - she looked great. i would have killed to be a size 14 and wouldn't even consider a diet if i was that size.... but it just shows that everyone views others differently, so it may just be that they don't see you as someone with a weight problem and are concerned that you're so unhappy at an already ok weight. :)
Started at 14 stone 4lbs and a tight 16 and am now 12 stone 8 ish and a size 14.. to many I know it is an ideal weight or a goal size, but to me I still have lbs to lose so I feel more comfortable in myself. As MK says everyone views others differently and as long as any plan you are doing is healthy and you know that when you reach target that you will need to maintain , not go back to old habits .. then go for it. I wouldnt say being a size 24 is a weight problem unless it is for the person concerned.. if you are unhappy and more importantly unhealthy then that is the issue rather than weight. Weight loss is a journey that can be lonely at times.. I dont really talk about it with my friends in real time.. just my friends on here. I dont always think it is jealousy.. maybe it is as others say more of a fear of who you will be.. this was one of my own worries.. who is Emski when she is slim ..Just do what you do and dont mention it.. if they compliment you first just say thank you .. after all you are doing it for you.. not them :D
 

dehli

Silver Member
#18
They're just worried that when you're slim and gorgeous they'll have to make more of an effort and lose some weight. Of course it's not an unrealistic target, you're only 25 and your frame is the same as when you were 18! I'm 45 and 5ft 4 and aiming for around 9stone 10. I'm wondering if I'm being over ambitious at my age, but I'll see how I go.
 
#19
Wow!!!

WHAT A response girls!!! that is absolutley fab, i feel really determind now to prove them wrong!!! you all say such lovely things!! its really nice to have people that support and understand what its like, its ok for my friends they are 9 stone! so yeah maybe they are a little threatened if i get bacck down that size (...no! sorry...WHEN, i get back to that size!!!!) they have nooo reason to be though, im happily married and doing it for me, not to pull blokes!! gaaa dear. When i first met up with my friend last night she did say "oo youv lost weight, yeah youv lost it in your arms... *****!" as if she was jealous. But hey this is my journey, im not gonna mention my diet to them anymore, ive got u guys now!! mu hubby is supportive to an extent, he just finds it difficult to not eat crap! so he tempts me a lot, but i have not caved in!! Have got a difficult weekend ahead of me but as long as i plan my meals, il be fine im sure x thanx guys, your all stars!!!!! x x x x x x x x x x xxx x x
 

Minders

Finding inspiration
#20
Perhaps just seeing you with so much motivation and achievement and most of all, RESULTS, makes them think badly of themselves for being less driven. If they make you give up and kick back, then they will feel less guilty for doing the same all along! Just remember, you're doing it for you... not anyone else. Keep up the good work and they will soon eat their words. :)
 


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