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UPSET,SAD AND SO ANNOYED WITH MYSELF!!can any1 help?!!

#1
I have been doing so well for the last few weeks on ww and have been so proud of myself and its made me so happy with the 6 1/2 pounds iv lost so far,but now im down in the dumps. last thursday my boyfriends dad was found dead so i have done nothing but eat rubbish for the last week. i cant seem to get my head around it now and am even eating blts for my breakfast every day!! i need a little strength from sumwhere to get back on track.so please please can any1 give me any words ov wisdom to help me from sinking into oblivion!??!! :mad: :sigh: :wave_cry: :cry: :break_diet:

x x x x x x x x x x x x x x
 
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howdy-doody

Eloquent hooligan
S: 14st13lb C: 13st11lb G: 12st0lb BMI: 31.1 Loss: 1st2lb(7.66%)
#2
So sorry to hear about your loss :( Thoughts go out to you... x

I'm unsure if this is the right advise for you but it's honestly how I feel... LT / WW / CD etc etc are excellent diet plans at the right time, at the right place... but you have to make space for them.

If the time is not right at the moment shelve it, you can go back to it.

If I was proper ill with manflu or my personal circumstances meant I couldn't dedicate myself 100% to it then I would take a break - no question... health (both mental & physical) & immediate recovery is much much more important.

Hope you have some sunshine soon x
 

cee-cee

Dizzy blonde
#3
Just to say I'm so sorry. I've had two close family bereavements in the past year and I know it is so hard to concentrate on dieting when you are grieving. Maybe you just need to allow yourself some time off. Try not to binge too much, as it will just mean it's harder when you get back on track. Bear that in mind and don't use your grief as an excuse to eat to excess, as it's yourself you are hurting in the end.

Someone more experience than me may be along soon, who may be more positive and keep you on the straight and narrow now:)
 
#4
So sorry to hear about your loss :( Thoughts go out to you... x

I'm unsure if this is the right advise for you but it's honestly how I feel... LT / WW / CD etc etc are excellent diet plans at the right time, at the right place... but you have to make space for them.

If the time is not right at the moment shelve it, you can go back to it.

If I was proper ill with manflu or my personal circumstances meant I couldn't dedicate myself 100% to it then I would take a break - no question... health (both mental & physical) & immediate recovery is much much more important.

Hope you have some sunshine soon x
aw thank you for your lovely words of support!! the word sunshine always makes me smile!!i always do smile quite often anyway,but il smile even more when im that lovely size 10 again!!thanks howdy doody x x x x
 
#5
Just to say I'm so sorry. I've had two close family bereavements in the past year and I know it is so hard to concentrate on dieting when you are grieving. Maybe you just need to allow yourself some time off. Try not to binge too much, as it will just mean it's harder when you get back on track. Bear that in mind and don't use your grief as an excuse to eat to excess, as it's yourself you are hurting in the end.

Someone more experience than me may be along soon, who may be more positive and keep you on the straight and narrow now:)
thank you for your words of wisdom.sorry to hear about your bereavements also.its harder at the moment for me as i lost my mum 7 months ago so this is bringing it all back!! im even going in the front funeral car so it will be just like mums funeral all over again i suppose!! the thing is i am binging,and overly binging at that!!had indian last nite!! but i know being slim will make me the happiest i cud be,and thats wot my mum wud want aswell so i hope i can find the strength from somewhere!! x x x x x
 

Tootiefrootie

Wants it Gone!
S: 15st5lb C: 15st5lb G: 11st0.3lb BMI: 30.8 Loss: 0st0lb(0%)
#6
Kelly Im so so sorry to hear about your recent loss and it is tough not to binge eat when your grieving... habits die hard!

As howdy doody said, perhaps it would be no harm to leave LT for a while until emotionally you are stronger and can commit to it 100%.

I hope you feel a little stronger soon... xxx
 
#7
Kelly Im so so sorry to hear about your recent loss and it is tough not to binge eat when your grieving... habits die hard!

As howdy doody said, perhaps it would be no harm to leave LT for a while until emotionally you are stronger and can commit to it 100%.

I hope you feel a little stronger soon... xxx
thanks lumpyroo.aw its great when ppl seem to really care!! god its tough enuf not to binge when life is pretty hunky dory,let alone all this stress!! thanks hun x x x
 

Sara4

Gold Member
S: 15st6lb C: 15st6lb G: 11st0lb BMI: 35.9 Loss: 0st0lb(0%)
#8
I agree with the others. Take some time out. It is easy sometimes to find excuses not to diet and to put it off which is something I often do. But between your mum and your boyfriends dad, that is plenty reason to take time out and heal a little.

Try damage limitiation. Taking time out is not an excuse to pack on another stone. Try and keep the binging under control a bit and try and pick foods that aren't too fattening.

It is a hard time. Don't be down on yourself about taking time out. Try and put a timescale on it.....like say think about LT again in 2 weeks. And if you are still not ready then put another time on it. Don't just fob it off indefinitely.

Stay strong and take care of yourself!
 
#9
I agree with the others. Take some time out. It is easy sometimes to find excuses not to diet and to put it off which is something I often do. But between your mum and your boyfriends dad, that is plenty reason to take time out and heal a little.

Try damage limitiation. Taking time out is not an excuse to pack on another stone. Try and keep the binging under control a bit and try and pick foods that aren't too fattening.

It is a hard time. Don't be down on yourself about taking time out. Try and put a timescale on it.....like say think about LT again in 2 weeks. And if you are still not ready then put another time on it. Don't just fob it off indefinitely.

Stay strong and take care of yourself!
great advice thankyou sara4.ur rite,taking time out isnt an excuse to pack in another stone,and i know that would be even more damaging n make me more miserable! its so easy to pile it on!! AHH to be naturally slim. cheerz hunny! x x x
 
#10
Kelly, sorry hun for your loss, how about this, why dont you try LP breakfast dinner and it wat the hell you want for tea, this way, you can go all day being good, no guilt when you sit down for your tea and or want a few glasses of wine, or try it one day good, one day watever, its right that you shouldnt put yourself under more stress but the guilt of coming off LT sounds like its stressing you out more and not helping the situation, another solution is just to do watever till the funneral then get back to the chemist the day after with more determination than ever before. Ive got no will power at all yet im on my second week and amazed each day im still doing it so if i can, believe me you have the strength too, keep your thoughts in control, everytime you think of food, (thoughts always come before emotions, emotions become actions) just think of that first time you stepped on the scales after your first week! You are in control hun but if you need a breather from the diet give it time or set a goal, thoughts with you hun jx
 
#11
Kelly, sorry hun for your loss, how about this, why dont you try LP breakfast dinner and it wat the hell you want for tea, this way, you can go all day being good, no guilt when you sit down for your tea and or want a few glasses of wine, or try it one day good, one day watever, its right that you shouldnt put yourself under more stress but the guilt of coming off LT sounds like its stressing you out more and not helping the situation, another solution is just to do watever till the funneral then get back to the chemist the day after with more determination than ever before. Ive got no will power at all yet im on my second week and amazed each day im still doing it so if i can, believe me you have the strength too, keep your thoughts in control, everytime you think of food, (thoughts always come before emotions, emotions become actions) just think of that first time you stepped on the scales after your first week! You are in control hun but if you need a breather from the diet give it time or set a goal, thoughts with you hun jx

thanks jackie.well to be honest iv posted my thing on the lt forum!!im actually at weight watchers!im an IT virgin so i do apologise for you having to write all about lt! i thought it was weird when evry1 was mentioning that!!? but the supports great thank you very much.i only realized when starlight asked me if id meant to put it on there!! i didnt have a clue! well things are still v.hard and my fellas getting quite noughty with me n picky,so im having to bite my tounge.but hey at least its weekend now.once the funerals over i suppose things will get easier...well i hope!! aw thanks jackie x x x x
 

dawnyblue

Full Member
S: 11st1lb G: 9st3lb
#12
Hi Kelly

I'm so sorry to hear the sad news and only a short time after losing your own mum too, how is your boyfriend coping?

When i lost my mum 18 months ago I was overweight and not dieting and when I lost her I just drowned myself in chocolates, chocolates and more chocolates, I put on another stone in a couple of months. Your head won't be in the right place to diet or go to meetings but do try to make some sensible decisions so things don't get out of hand and when you are up to it properly you won't have put on much more, making it even harder to start.

I wish you luck on your dieting journey but first and foremost look after yourself and your boyfriend, going out for walks and talking is a nice way to pass time with the weather being so nice at the moment. We're thinking of you
 
#13
aw thats really lovely dawn thanks.its hard isnt it,as i appriciate you have been through the same as me.
u feel like no one ever understands what your going through but u find when you dig deep enuf theres a whole lot of ppl out there who can relate to it. to be fair my boyfriend didnt really know how to deal with me when mum died,hes a very keep himself to himself kinda guy n didnt like me crying so i didnt often cry around him really,as he was always making me laff (hes the funniest person in the world!!) so really my grief has been put on hold, then a few weeks ago i had to have a month off work as it kinda hit me all at once,the doctor said it was a delayed reaction which is quite common.so i know how to deal with him better than i would have if i hadnt lost mum.hes still in shock,dont think its hit him yet,but im sure it will on tuesday as thats the funeral.he keeps snapping at me but i expect that as u tend to take it out on the ppl closest,all i can do is be here for him and his family too. thanks once again dawn,its ppl like you that make me realize there is light at the end of the tunnel afterall. x x x x x x
 
#14
Im sorry to hear that hun, a few years back my husband lost a dear friend, more like a brother, so suddenly that it hit us all hard. I think because we were supposed to be with him the night he died but we couldnt be bothered to go out added to the pain. Its going to hurt for a long time, so dont think "oh, I should be getting on with stuff now" you and your fella need to comfort each other as much as you can, and remind each other every single day of how much you mean to each other. Just take time out to look after the emotional side and then you will be in a better place to be tackling the diet.
xxx
 
#15
Im sorry to hear that hun, a few years back my husband lost a dear friend, more like a brother, so suddenly that it hit us all hard. I think because we were supposed to be with him the night he died but we couldnt be bothered to go out added to the pain. Its going to hurt for a long time, so dont think "oh, I should be getting on with stuff now" you and your fella need to comfort each other as much as you can, and remind each other every single day of how much you mean to each other. Just take time out to look after the emotional side and then you will be in a better place to be tackling the diet.
xxx
yes i agree babe,but its hard as he doesnt like talking about it really,hes quite private like that n doesnt wanna put on every1 else.i tell him im here and if he needs to talk il listen.but he never seems to do that!its quite flustrating actually as hes like that in general n i feel like he doesnt want 2 ever let me in!!! i do understand that some ppl are just like that,me,il tell every1 everything!!(always let ppl know 2 much about me!!) so we are on seperate ends of the scale!! i just hope he does know im here in a big way,just wish hes show me something!!!!! Thanks for your advice.much appriciated x x x x x x x :eek:
 
#16
yes i agree babe,but its hard as he doesnt like talking about it really,hes quite private like that n doesnt wanna put on every1 else.i tell him im here and if he needs to talk il listen.but he never seems to do that!its quite flustrating actually as hes like that in general n i feel like he doesnt want 2 ever let me in!!! i do understand that some ppl are just like that,me,il tell every1 everything!!(always let ppl know 2 much about me!!) so we are on seperate ends of the scale!! i just hope he does know im here in a big way,just wish hes show me something!!!!! Thanks for your advice.much appriciated x x x x x x x :eek:
My hubby was the same, in fact, it was like he was deliberatly distancing himself from me, which was totally confusing *us girlies get through stuff by talking and having a good ol cry eh?* but it was like he wanted to keep it to himself. Your doing right by letting him know your there, but if he feels more comfy not talking about it, it must be frustrating for you!

Hope it gets easier soon xxx
 
#17
im glad that it seems to be a man thing!!! and omg that is so how i feel!!!you are sooooo rite!!! its like he just doesnt want me to even b there!! well to be honest hes letting me give him more cuddles n mither him a bit more (hes not a cuddly person at the best of times!!) so i do know he is needing me more than ever,and its not that i want praise for being here,just a bit more aknowledgement to give me an idea if i need to back off a bit!!he he,i can sometimes be a bit full on!! x x x x x
 
#18
Yeah, just wanted to add my support. i agree with everyone else, get your head in the right place first, try not to overdo it in the meantime adn when you re-start it wil be a little easier as you will know what to expect.

Chin up hun, best foot forward and all that
 


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