Watch out for bored/bewildered family members!

Discussion in 'Cambridge Weight Plan' started by Jaycey, 22 April 2009 Social URL.

  1. Jaycey

    Jaycey Post-Menopausal Maniac!

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    My hubby admitted to me last night that he was "bored with my diet". :eek: (That was after I'd sent him a mad text about my size 12 jeans!) I was quite shocked, but then it did bring home to me how much I do hammer on about CD, day in day out - call it evangelising if you like. Don't get me wrong, hubby is very supportive (he's even been losing weight himself to keep me company!) but even for him, it's all wearing a bit thin.

    I think the problem is that loved ones love us whatever we look like and however we are! My hubby certainly does - he's always told me I look gorgeous whatever I wear or look like (even in those horrid flobby holiday pix of mine!). He almost can't understand why I'm doing this, and certainly can't understand why I'm getting worked up over a pair of jeans. (To a mere bloke, it's just 'a pair of jeans', you see!) Now he's started saying things like, "well, if it's so great, why didn't you do it years ago?" (I wish I could answer that question! :sigh:)

    So this is a warning really - CD might be the greatest thing that's ever happened to YOU, but that's it, it's about you and no-one else. And we can't expect other people (however close they are) to be as interested in it as we are! However ecstatic we are about our losses, there has to be a time to put up and shut up as far as others are concerned - and I think I've reached mine! :eek:

    I'd be interested to hear others' views about this - it looks very hard and unfair now I'm reading it back, but unfortunately I think it's true (in my case, anyway).
     
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  3. lisalulu

    lisalulu Silver Member

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    This has actually struck a chord with me Jaycey. I'm coming to the end of week 3, and although my h2b is incredibly supportive, you've made me realise how much I do ramble on about the diet and my wonderful CDC. I hate it when he goes on and on about work, so why should he have to put up with me waffle on about the diet. It just feels so amazing to be losing weight and actually enjoying it for once. He really struggles to understand why I put myself through this just to be slim but I know that he loves me whatever my size/shape/bra size ;)
     
  4. Angela83

    Angela83 Silver Member

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    Very wise words, totally agree! I can liken it to when I was coming to the end of my pregnancy, I began to realise how boring it must be when theres 3 of you pregnant at work and that's all you speak about-poor other staff members who would nod and attempt to show interest!
     
  5. KD

    KD Gone fishing

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    I was really quiet about it with everyone. Hardly mentioned it. Didn't even tell DH what I had lost on each weigh in (well...did a few times). I did mention to him the day I got to goal, but not until the afternoon :D

    I'm more likely to talk to him these days about diet related stuff as it doesn't refer to me, just general interest stuff (which I guess is interest for me, not him :D..but I tell him anyway)

    But this time around, I was much more careful about bringing others into my journey than before. Mind you, I shared pretty much everything on forums :D
     
  6. Jaycey

    Jaycey Post-Menopausal Maniac!

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    I guess us attached ladies ought to feel lucky that we have such supportive partners around! :) But everyone has their breaking point, and that's where we need to be careful. (I'm sure my hubby switches off now when I start burbling away about CD - and lack of communication is a major cause of marriage break-up! Perhaps I should start discussing the budget when he gets in tonight! :D)

    KD, how on earth did you manage to hide the diet?! :eek: I suppose everyone's domestic arrangements are different, but we have a big kitchen that we kind of live in (TV, big table always strewn with newspapers, etc.) and all cooking takes place when we're both there, watching the news or whatever. It would make it impossible for me to hide the diet. (I do keep a 'diet corner' between the kettle and the mike, where my blender, tea/coffee, etc. are - and I keep all my CD meals in a box in the larder. So I do try and keep it all out of the way of hubby!) We don't actually hide anything from each other really, so he would smell a rat right away if I tried to kick him out while I did my CD meals, lol! :)

    Just one question for KD - why were you so secretive? Did you have a previous bad dieting experience? (Sorry to be nosey, but I am very interested!)
     
  7. KD

    KD Gone fishing

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    I wasn't secretive. He knew exactly what I was doing and why I was doing it. I just didn't really talk about it from then on.

    I drank the shakes in front of him. He knew when I was seeing my CDC. Nothing was hidden away....we just didn't talk about it. I guess we just had other things we had to talk about :D

    Perhaps deep down there were other reasons why I chose not to actively include him (or others come to that). What I mentioned on another thread about it being totally my journey and was concerned about being influenced by what others said.

    I had also dieted every year for about 35+ years, and I reckon I was getting embarrassed about being even bigger each year. Also the more I talked about it, the bigger the deal was if I couldn't make it work and I wanted it to be totally my responsibility and not something that I should feel ashamed of.

    So this time, I just got on with the job on my own. They ate all sorts of stuff sat beside me. I continued to cook for them. Just learnt how to deal with it.
     
  8. Jaycey

    Jaycey Post-Menopausal Maniac!

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    KD, you're amazing - a true ambassadress for CD! And so strong! You are a living embodiment of what it's like to be big, to stop yourself from being big, and then to spend the rest of your life concentrating on going forwards and not backwards.
    :worthy:
    (Have you ever been featured in Inspirations? You ought to be! :))
     
  9. KD

    KD Gone fishing

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    Ah, but Jacey, it wasn't a case of being strong, it was more about knowing how weak I could be ;) I had seen people on another forum 'fall' because of other peoples reactions and comments, and knew from past experience that I could do that too. It was the easiest way for me to get what I wanted...to get to goal and stay there.
    Fankyou :thankyou: Nope, haven't been in anything. Nobody has ever suggested it until now (you) :D Is it the two heads, or the crappy hair I wonder :D

    Seriously though, I wouldn't anyway as I'm kind of shy like that :eek:
     
  10. Angela83

    Angela83 Silver Member

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    I had a friend round the other day and wasn't sure why I didn't tell her, maybe this explains it! It is my journey and although I know she would be supportive I didn't need to know her opinion on it. I find everybody has an opinion and sometimes i just don't want to hear it! I put it on, I'll loose it thank you very much!
     
  11. rainbowfrost

    rainbowfrost * smile *

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    I agree with jacey KD you should be featured in inspirations, i love reading your posts they really motivate me.....and your so right Jacey about CD taking over, but think this happens when your focusing on anything or have got a goal in view. I guess we all have to stand back a bit and not bang on about it and do our partners heads in too much lol (but i'm sure I'd probably just bug him about something else hehehe) bless him !!
    xxx
     
  12. curlywurly1234

    curlywurly1234 Cambridge Consultant

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    Hey Jacey..
    I so know where your coming from but bless you!! You were so excited about your jeans!!! Im excited for you.. and I would have been exactly the same as you... I have about 6 people that want to know each week how I do.. and my brother who is doing it to.. (richman14)... always rings me to find out.. I always ring those people when I come out.. I get so excited.

    I do bang on about it when people ask me.. because Im so excited about it and love it..

    Shout about it here!!! as we all want to know!!!!!

    xxxx
     
  13. lisalulu

    lisalulu Silver Member

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    This thread made me really do some thinking. I decided to ask h2b how he felt about my constant waffling and CD preaching. Surprisingly, he told me that he loves to hear about it because he hasn't seen me so happy, energetic and enthusiastic about anything in a long time. I'm pretty sure his attitude will change further down the line, but right now I'm off to change my religious status on Facebook to 'I worship the Cambridge diet!!'
     
  14. curlywurly1234

    curlywurly1234 Cambridge Consultant

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    Lol Lisa.. I asked Rich (my dh too) and I asked him if I bored him and he said no..... He likes to hear about it.. but I too am sure after I while he will have enough.. He did say to me earlier . the minute you wake up your on here. and every time I look at you your on the laptop!!! lol and I said Im addicted.. and it helps me!!
     
  15. Caz

    Caz Slimming down the aisle

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    I'm actually just about to start, so I can't really comment just yet! I just thought I'd say I'm doing this with a friend. We've both decided that we want to lose weight, and while we live a couple of hours away from each other, we're both starting together on the same plans. That way we can natter on about it with each other, and if she's hungry she can call me and I'll offer encouragement and motivation and vice versa! I think if you can do something like this with someone it's helpful, and hopefully I'll find that!
     
  16. lisalulu

    lisalulu Silver Member

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    Lol- I'm exactly the same. On here as soon as I wake up, seeing if the hour by hour thread is up yet and planning what shakes/bars/porridge to have. I think Sam is used to it though, I used to be addicted to Facebook..... now I'm addicted to Minimins!

    Anyway, he can't complain, he likes to spend his spare time on his laptop playing Championship Manager. We're like a sad middle aged couple with matching laptops... except mine is pink and his is red. We'll be buying matching leathers and a motorbike soon ;)
     
  17. curlywurly1234

    curlywurly1234 Cambridge Consultant

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    Lisa, I was the same, addicted to facebook.
    I still have my facebook open too...... and flick from one to another how sad am I.. we share the laptop sometimes he says can I use it now please..... Rich spends his time looking on forums about the housing market.. lol
     
  18. lisalulu

    lisalulu Silver Member

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    I just glanced up and sure enough, I had Facebook open on another tab. We're not sad, its an illness!

    Forgot you were also house hunting. I often have a third tab open with one of the local estate agents page on. Nice to have a quick browse when the forums go quiet! Honestly, I do have a social life beyond my computer.

    Anyway, thread hijack over!!
     
  19. MissAma

    MissAma Silver Member

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    I've considered not telling anyone for the reasons KD mentions - own journey, not the first time- but then again, even if practicality would allow it -and it doesn't my fiancee and mom are on it too- l would have still spoken about it because to me, accountability is an integral part of this. Hence the tickers, posting here, being the vlcd and low carbs evanghelist and so on.

    Kudos to those strong enough not to need the audience, l'll keep the look-at-me loud diva act up (at the risk of annoying them) till goal and a while into maintenance ;) curvy - we must have been separated at birth hon:)
     
  20. lisalulu

    lisalulu Silver Member

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    Back on topic. I did consider keeping CD a secret from everyone bar my h2b, but then realised I had to confront my issues in order to succeed. I think I wanted to keep it a secret in case I failed like I have on all other diets. Instead I've been open and honest, and showing all those who doubt me how wrong they are about CD is just one extra reason to get to target.
     
  21. Jaycey

    Jaycey Post-Menopausal Maniac!

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    After reading these posts, I'm beginning to think my hubby is a bit unreasonable, lol!! :eek: I did apologise to him tonight when he came in, about going on about CD all the time. He said that all he really wanted was for us to talk about something else now and then! :D We're OK, but I have learned a lesson.

    (Apart from Minimins, my main confidantes are my mum and my best friend - I have to text them both when I get in from my WIs otherwise I'm in trouble! :) Apologies to the guys on here, but for me this is SO a girl thing! :queen: Other females are the only ones who really geddit - or perhaps that's just me! :))
     
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