Weird comment today....

Discussion in 'Lighter Life Forum' started by Greenockgal, 19 March 2008 Social URL.

  1. Greenockgal

    Greenockgal Full Member

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    I don't know if you guys saw it, but on my rant thread the other night, to cheer myself up, I dug out my pair of fat trousers and tried them on. I got both legs into one leg, and posted a pic on my thread.

    well, here's the deal, i was telling the girls at work and they wanted me to show them, so I did, and one girl said, "Why are you doing this sort of stuff? I think that is dangerous, you shouldn't be harping back to that, it reminds me of someone with anorexia!!"

    ?????????

    What's that all about then??

    The only thing I can think of is, I was the fattest girl in the office, and unfortunately, now she is, is it jealousy?? She did say last year that whilst she celebrated in my weight loss, she was a bit jealous, as she's doing it "conventionally" (mine was "unconventional), but she was pleased for me. Now I try and avoid talking about it when she's about, as I feel she's sick of hearing about it.

    I have also given her some of my trousers that were too big for me, they are now too big for her, which is great news.

    Everyone else was saying, "Bliddy hell, can't believe you used to fit in them!!"

    Bit confused......!!!
     
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  3. gazz

    gazz Full Member

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    I've hadcomments like , have you got an illness ? , and when I've mentioned my target weight, I was told , "your going too mad and your make yourself ill".. All I can say is some people like you being fat as it makes them feel better. I'm sure there are a few people on here that have had the same.
     
  4. Greenockgal

    Greenockgal Full Member

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    Thats true, I never really thought I had a problem with food, just thought I was a fat bint who liked to eat too much!! But I know now I will always battle with food, no way am I going back to what I was, but her comments stung a bit, made me think, "Oh my god, am I being obsessive with this?" I don't think I am??!!
     
  5. Corey

    Corey longs to be average!

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    I agree with you Gazz, it's all down to jealousy.

    Interesting that we are doing an unconventional diet - I thought dieting was about losing weight? Therefore all diets serve the same purpose!!!!! Perhaps she's thinking she hasn't got the will power to do something as hard as denying herself food!!

    You keep taking those photo's it's the perfect reminder of where you were, and where you'll never be again
     
  6. Summerskye

    Summerskye Gold Member

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    I really do think it's a case of the green-eyed monster I'm afraid (and possibly the other girl's own insecurity). It's far from uncommon that other people feel the need to comment on or denigrate someone else's weightloss success - especially when that 'someone' loses weight using a VLCD which a lot of people don't really understand.

    I hear all the time the old chestnut "If you lose it quickly, you put it all back on quickly .. and then some!" - which of course would be absolutely true if you go back to your old eating habits. But that would be the same if you did that having lost weight with ANY diet, not just a VLCD.

    My answer is to point out that after almost 18 months of losing weight on CD (nearly 8.5 stone in just under 10 months), I'm even now only about 5 lbs over my target weight and still within the 'normal' weight range for my height.

    Here's my own '2 legs in 1' photo. Well done on your own achievement. Be proud of it! :)
     

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  7. Greenockgal

    Greenockgal Full Member

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    Thanks Corey, it's quite funny really, at the start she said it was "un natural!!" Then she went to ask if I had any spare packs so she could try it for a day!! She never did though! But in the time I've lostg 6 stone (since last June, but with 3 months off), she's lost a stone and a half - which I think is brill, but I do think she's a bit green around the gills!
     
  8. Greenockgal

    Greenockgal Full Member

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    Sharon, what a lovely posting and a great picture - well done you!!!

    I will take what my "friend" said with a very large dose of salt!!!
     
  9. x-Katie-x

    x-Katie-x Gold Member

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    That's the best way to take comments from friends like that GG. Sometimes it's the 'knowing looks' that are worse than the comments, I've got a friend who considers herself to be older and wiser than me who just gives me those looks when the topic changes (not by me) to my diet - I'd say she's never had a weight problem and fluctuates between a 14 and 16 but when I got down to a 16 last year the looks started and the 'hmm taking it too far' comments .... at this stage I was still 5 stone above the top of my acceptable BMI ---- don't think that's taking it too far.

    I'm due to see her again soon, and I've got to be honest in saying that knowing what I'm expecting to see and hear puts me off seeing her.
     
  10. Greenockgal

    Greenockgal Full Member

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    I know what you mean, I'm still in the overweight category of my BMI, but when i mention that, it's all knowing looks, and "Oh yes, but you're gettign all scraggy!" As if!!!
     
  11. toller-girl

    toller-girl constantly confused

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    There's stuff about that in our books. People have an idea of what 'you' look like, and when we change that (especially so quickly) people start to feel unsure and don't know who we are any more. Well, I say 'we', I haven't changed at all yet!

    I suppose it's scary to have the status quo challeneged, and it might not be that she's deliberately sabotaging you at all. It's very easy to think the worst of people.

    Whatever her motivation, she's talking rubbish! You look amazing and you've done so well :D
     
  12. Blonde Logic

    Blonde Logic Yes. You can.

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    Hey hon. No - you are not obsessed with this. At all. I think your friend is probably feeling scared by your success, and that she is being left behind and now thaking the role of the "fattest" in the group. Thats a horrible place to be, lord know been there wnough myself - but it does not give her the right to say hurtful things. But I wouldn't think they are coming from a mean place, but rathar an insecure place. Just the fact she wanted to try it for a week shows she is really quite inspired by you. But for whatever reasons, she is not able to make the LL commitment....seeing the speed in which you lose is probably dishearteing to her.

    I wouldn't worry about it too much. People are strange beasts sometimes. (And particularly theone's we work with! :ritflmao: :))

    You keep doing waht you are doing....you are looking gorgeous!

    You really should wear the Denim skirt in - see what they say to that!! :D
     
  13. lillypop

    lillypop now got pictures in album

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    what a stupid idiot! she's jelous, there is no doubt about it! you were the fattest person in the office, now she is! I bet she wishes she could do the 'unconventional' diet you are doing! :p
     
  14. Greenockgal

    Greenockgal Full Member

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    Thanks guys, maybe I will wear the skirt next week, ha ha!!!
     
  15. Donnalou86

    Donnalou86 Striving for slimness

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    Just raeding this thread been thinking, wow some people really do have an issue with other people's success don't they. Infact just the other day a friend and colleague of mine was talking to me about my diet asking how I was doing, and another colleague came over while we were talking. She asked what diet I was on and when I told her she started ranting and ranting about how it's dangerous and I should stop now. I said to her it's monitored by my doctor and is safe, and she just started saying no no you're wrong stop it now. I ended up losing my temper actually. I said I'm sick of hearing this, and walked off. She had me furious, I barely even know her. I do think some times people like you being fatter than them and just can't accept you're fine. I'm also getting alot of "oh you don't need to lose that much that's too far" when I btell them how much I have left to lose. But that's my healthy BMI. Oh I don't know.. *sigh*
     
  16. Greenockgal

    Greenockgal Full Member

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    I know what you mean Donna, I want to lose another 1 - 1.5 stones by my holiday in May, struggling a bit with it, but their view is that thats my body crying out for food so I should stop now - errr no, I'm not hungry, just struggling!

    It doesn't help that I'm always freezing in the office and theyve got the windows open, they say that's another sign I should eat! grrrr!
     
  17. toller-girl

    toller-girl constantly confused

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    I think some people don't get the diet, not necessarily being mean but maybe she was genuinely concerned for you?

    I think it's easier to cope with things like that if you assume people aren't trying to ruin things for you, but mean well. Is for me anyway!
     
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  19. Blonde Logic

    Blonde Logic Yes. You can.

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    Yeah, I tend to agree Toller. As I have told very few people about the diet, I have not had a lot of these unplesasnt remarks. A few....one of them was the "you will gain it all back" comment. However, I see that as a valid comment.....as in a lot of crash diets, people DO gain the weight back...so I don;t take offense, and I don;t believe it comes from a mean place in people - I believe it comes from "are yo sure you want to put yourself through all that if you will likely gain it back"....and lets face it - have gained back everything I lost on previous diets. But I then take the time to explaint to them, the was I view it - is that this IS the "miracle diet" I have longed for, and that I CAN acheieve my goal weight because I have that much patience - I don;t have enough patience to do it more "convetionally", but 7 or 8 months - no probs. So I see it as a prayer answered, a gift - and I intend to cherish the end results the same way I would if someone gave me a special gift. And that I am aware I MUST change my lifestyle in order to keep it off, etc. and that I am happy to do so. They have no comeback to that other then to be supportive, which they then are.

    The other comment I hear from those that know, is when I say I have a total of 10 stone to lose - everyone looks shocked and says "You can;'t lost that much - you will be too skinny", etc., I don't take offence at that either. THey simply can't believe that I am THAT overwieght. I have always carried the extra weight in a rathar solid fashion - just a very big girl - I have always been told I weigh more then I look like I do....so to them, 10 stone probably sounds like too much....but i give them a wink, and a knowing smile and simply say, "trust me - I have it to lose"......and they accept that.

    I think we can get very sensitive on something like dieting. Can't blame us. We've been through them all, ups and downs, and no one knows the struggly mentally and physically that we have been through except us and other fat people. So it is understandable, but I just let ignorant coments go. Real friends, and people that relly care, will never mean anything nasty by it.

    And the others, well, thats just the green eyed monster, and not real friends, and I can't really be bothered any more to internalise comments made by people I wouldn't want to care about... Better to laugh it off, hold yor head high, and give them a run for their money. :D
     
  20. Donnalou86

    Donnalou86 Striving for slimness

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    Yeah I say that too, no-one can ever believe I was nearly 17 stone, I guess I "carried it well" or something cos no-one believes.
     
  21. mikey

    mikey Silver Member

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    I think we all seem to "carry it well". I guess that is because people cannot comprehend how we could have weighed so much.

    Regarding natural and unnatural diets, before arable farming, we all lived in a feast/famine way (well not us - our ancestors). The problem that has affected us since arable farming began roughly 10,000 yrs ago (i.e not very long in terms of adapting to a new diet) is the huge amounts of readily available carbohydrate particularly so in the last 30 years. This food is cheap to produce (relatively) and marketed to us very strongly in every media. What we have is permanent feast on foods that are not ideal, Surely that is not natural anyway?

    The diet we are on is nothing more than the famine part of a natural cycle for humans (and other animals) OK we go on it for longer than most people used to need to, but then we have feasted for so long (years).

    As we celebrate Easter, it is worth pointing out that fasting is and has been a common practice for most of the worlds population until the last 100 years or so. Think of Lent, and also Ramadam.

    This diet is not unnatural in any way other than the sci-fi chemical nature of the food, but any other "natural" diet is likely to have a whole bunch of highly processed ingredients - pasta, bread, low fat meals etc.

    I have not had anybody say any bad things about the diet that some of you have, but then everybody I know seems to know somebody on LL!

    Simply put - these people are speaking out of ignorance, and even if they weren't ignorant, it is hard to see that they think weightloss can be so bad. If they were that concerned about our health, why did they not tell us to go on a diet?
     
  22. KD

    KD Gone fishing

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    :D I disagree with everyone. Hey, what's new :D

    Sometimes it is jealousy, but more often it's just that they don't know about the diet.

    I had loads of daft comments from people that I knew weren't jealous....just didn't understand about Cambridge.

    After all, the usual advice is eat healthily and exercise, and don't lose too quickly. Cambridge is an exception to the rule, but unless you know all about it, it's easy to think the person is nuts just drinking shakes and dropping the pounds.
     
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