What to expect from the meetings please?

Discussion in 'Slimming World' started by needtoslim, 11 August 2010 Social URL.

  1. needtoslim

    needtoslim Full Member

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    Hi everyone.
    Sorry if this has been covered before but I couldn't find it.
    I joined SW on 24th June and I think when I have my weigh in tomorrow I may have lost a stone.
    I know I could have done heaps better but I find I struggle a lot of the time as I dont seem to have much info. At the meetings, I think the only time I have spoken to the SW lady is to confirm what I have lost when she goes round the whole group. There seems to be a group of regulars who have been going a long time who tend to hog the meetings and have a comment for everything - everyone else weightloss, exercise, weight gains, whatever - they have something to say.
    Then there are a few more who LOVE to be negative. They just lost 4lbs that week? Well, they will still find something to complain about.
    The main thing that comes across is that many have really really appalling eating habits and (Sorry if this sounds snobby) but they really don't appear to have very sophisticated, or even adult tastes in food at all. I am really floundering with it but there is no other meeting near me.
    I have started to skip meetings so I dont have to spend the 2 hours there listening to it all (I am genuinely depressed when I leave) and I know if I am not planning to go and weigh in, I have choc, wine etc.
    The final straw I think was when the password was Basil. And my SW lady admitted she didnt know what it was.
    I kind of assumed that the SW leaders would have some kitchen skills, and not be telling us every week how she isnt prepared to cook...
    Has anyone else found their meeting like this? Is this what they are all like?
    Sorry if this sounds like a rant but I feel really down about it and very alone right now.
    xx
     
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  3. shell_y

    shell_y Silver Member

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    Can you find another group near you? Doesnt sound like your c is very good. Mines very different to that.
    Also you don't have to stay for the chat after, you can just go get weighed..
     
  4. captain nemo

    captain nemo Chunky Munkey

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    when i stay to meetings it takes that long to go round everyones losses/gains, that nothing else get talked about really, generally seems a waste of time unless your staying to get a shiny
     
  5. krupskaya

    krupskaya Gold Member

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    I think you need to find another meeting with a better consultant and without the cliques. It'll be worth it even if you have to go out of your way a bit. Meetings all differ according to consultant and regular members so it is definitely worth trying another before you throw the towel in. Good luck!
     
  6. Chicaloca

    Chicaloca Silver Member

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    I dont stay to meetings as they take too long! Finishing at 8:30! Its a real shame that there isnt a meeting near my home :(

    Anyhoos I would try and find another meeting, or consider doing it online. I cant do that as I need the structure of going to class and being weighed...now if the woman who did that knew what she was doing it would be a miracle but hey ho thats another story!

    Not knowing what basil is is just plain weird, its ok not to use it, but come on!
     
  7. jaylou

    jaylou Gold Member

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    I don't think your consultant is bad because she doesn't know what basil is! Come on ladies, not everyone knows every herb going!

    As for the cliques, I've said this lots of times, I don't think they are cliques - they are groups of people who know each other, probably pretty well if they've been going for years.

    Also, those who have been going for years do have a lot to say - we (i'm one of them) have a lot of advice to give and experiences to share. That is what Image therapy is all about.

    The consultant does not have time to have individual meetings with each member - that's why you get your minute or two in the spotlight as she goes round the group. It's your chance to ask for help if you need it, if you are struggling, it's your time to tell her and ask her (and the group) for ways they can help you.

    I doubt very much changing group would help - you will still have the perceived cliques and still probably only speak to the consultant when she goes round the group (unless it's a very small class).
     
  8. needtoslim

    needtoslim Full Member

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    I am quite happy to hear advice and share experiences but do I really honestly need to hear a comment after every single persons weight loss/gain? Typical convo : SW leader "X, you have lost 1lb. Are you happy with that?" X : "Well yes, every loss" Interrupting lady: "Well, every loss is a good loss isn't it? I mean I was saying that to so and so the other night. We were off to the cinema and I said I can't go to the cinema and not eat can I?" SW leader: "So what did you do?" And off they go natter natter and poor X who was actually being spoken to is left there open mouthed and cut off completely from what she was saying.
    The problem is, I do feel I need the structure of the weigh in, but I dont really want to pay £5 for the priviledge of hearing all about other peoples weekends/ love of chips and hatred of their neighbours. That only helps me lose financial pounds. I live in the sticks so this is the nearest drive for me and the others are very far away and not good times at all. I shall have to rethink I guess, which is a shame.
    Its clearly not just me though as when someone was off on another speech the other week I distinctly heard someone say "Oh for crying out loud".
     
  9. emily87

    emily87 Onwards and downwards!

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    Sounds like your class isn't really helping much at all hun and its a real pain that you have no others near you. I recenlty changed classes and it was the best things I have done. I stopped going to my old class because it was awful, very similar to what you described. And the C really wasn't very helpful and didn't seem very motivated or interested in helping people. The first class I went to all she talked about was getting us to bring more people along so that she could become a regional manager or something! But my new class is completely different, the C is just so lovely and shows a genuine interest in everyone.

    Big hugs, I know exactly how you feel and it must be so frustrating. Maybe just go and weigh, I know paying £5 for just that seems a lot but if it helps keep you on plan each week it might be worth it hun.
     
  10. needtoslim

    needtoslim Full Member

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    Yes, I think I may just go for the weigh in. I come out feeling really demotivated and bored after 2 hours of gloom! lol I would have loved to have been able to share recipes etc at the meetings but it seems SW chips and ready made meals are very popular (Apparently it makes it easier to count your syns...) so, its not really what I thought it would be. Also, on my first meeting, I thought the SW leader was fab. Really upbeat and interesting and every time someone interrupted, she asked them to wait. But she wasnt the regular leader and her meetings are absolutely miles and miles away. The leader I have now is very nice but she doesnt seem very interested.
    Thanks everyone, I shall have my weigh in tomorrow and see how I feel after that!
    xx
     
  11. emily87

    emily87 Onwards and downwards!

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    Keep your chin up hun, and good luck for tomorrow x
     
  12. needtoslim

    needtoslim Full Member

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    Thanks Emily. I skipped last weeks meeting and pigged out all weekend so really let myself down, which is a shame. Back on track now though I hope. I might go back to basics and start again.
    x
     
  13. avisk

    avisk xx

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    If I had been that consultant and I saw "basil" as a password on my list, and I didn't know what it was, I would have made sure to find out just in case anyone asked!

    In any SW group there are a number of people that have been going there for a long time and it may seem like they are forming a "clique". But there are also new people joining all the time - if you see someone new, go and talk to them. Before long, you could have your own "clique"!

    Why not tell your consultant that you are thinking of leaving, and explain exactly why. Write to her if you don't think you can explain it face to face. She won't want to lose a customer and she might be quite surprised to find out that some of her members aren't happy.
     
  14. needtoslim

    needtoslim Full Member

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    Thanks Avisk. Yes, if I can catch her alone I may well say something. Don't get me wrong, I think she is very nice, but she doesnt seem able to keep the group on track.
    I trained as a chef and am a food writer for a magazine, so I appreciate my knowledge of food may be better than some, but the Basil thing just kind of made me do a double take as I was really shocked to have her actually then say that she wouldnt know what it was because she doesnt believe in cooking for her family. I was under the impression that SW was all about eating 'normal' food the whole family can enjoy? I tried WW for a while. Another lovely lady ran that but admitted to eating ready meals every night with a few extra veg as it saved her cooking and made counting points easier. Thats not a sustainable lifestyle to me and there is surely no point in doing this if it cant be maintained?
    x
     
  15. avisk

    avisk xx

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    SW does encourage members to cook meals from scratch when they can - you only have to look at the magazine and the website to see that - and consultants should not be undermining this policy, even if privately they don't agree with it!

    And it's not as if basil is a particularly rare or obscure ingredient these days!
     
  16. downsizingmycurves

    downsizingmycurves Silver Member

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    I agree with that. Freshly prepared meals should surely feature in a life long healthy eating plan such as this.

    Its a shame you feel like that OP as I really find the meetings help. I took a friend along last week and she couldn't bare the meeting bit and so didn't go back. She was cringing but I think you just have to throw yourself in and go with the flow.

    I did go to another meeting once for a WI and the ladies there were similar to how you describe and it was not particulalry motivating so I can understand how you feel but perhaps you could seek out others who look as if they want to stick to chatting about the plan. Maybe suggest a food tasting session where people bring in home cooked food?
     
  17. jaylou

    jaylou Gold Member

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    It's worth also bearing in mind, that for a lot of ladies, this is their only evening out and perhaps they go for more than the weight loss side of things. We all have our own reasons for going to SW, obviously losing weight is the primary reason (although one or two at my group have never lost any....) but some do go for the social side.

    It takes time to get to know group members and those who talk a lot and those who say little! I'd say stick with the group, you may get to like the people :)

    I do agree though that the consultant shouldn't be saying she's not one for cooking but again, SW is for different lifestyles and there are people who practically live on supernoodles and pasta in sauce and those who cook gourmet SW meals.

    There are a few people who don't like the format of SW meetings and don't stay to group but I do think that if the general consensus was a dislike of the style, that SW would change that format. They haven't, so it must work!
     
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  19. Bige

    Bige Full Member

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    Being the only male in my class I found the first meeting a bit intimidating and I agree that there are some people there who think a fresh meal is chilled packet meal rather than a frozen one ! But you get out of the meeting what you put into it and also how you think about what is being said. I listen to people being negative and think '' I will NOT be like that... I listen to people say, I don't have time to walk to the shops ( this person was retired) Well I work 12 hour days and have 3 children and I WILL make time.
    Every negative has a positive, so erase the negative and learn from the positive.
     
  20. jaylou

    jaylou Gold Member

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    What a fantastic post! Well done you :D
     
  21. prawnchopSuey

    prawnchopSuey Gold Member

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    Hi there,

    I used to go to a group and found it to be rubbish like you did needtoslim.

    It was a small group but most of the members were pensioners who may have had a few pounds to lose but I suspect in reality were there for the social aspect. They wasted image therapy time with idle gossip and were not interested in discussing recipes as they were meat & veg ladies and weren't interested in exotic or foreign food.

    The consultant had apparently succeeded with SW but had regained all the weight and would lament at how she had polished off 30 syns by 11am on two twixes... Now believe me I am as weak-willed as the next person and have off days where I am a little piggy, but as a consultant I feel she was a rubbish advert for SW, showing that it is a temporary fix and difficult to stick to. Hardly inspired me anyhow.

    At WI the consultant wouldn't be near the scales and it was a 'helper' with poor numeracy skills who filled in my losses in my book, often making errors in the amount gained / lost.

    At image therapy we had the typical announcement and clapping of everyone's losses, then usually there was some sort of sermon about how to eat rubbish on SW, i.e. low syn ready meals, frozen food, convenience food, recipes for cake and chocolate. Again, once in a while this would have been fine but surely the onus should be on hearty, healthy meals which help CHANGE eating habits thus develop healthy eating habits for life?

    I was never asked how I was getting on, I tried to hand in my food diaries from the welcome pack and was told she wouldn't look at those every week (but never asked to see it after that so never offered any advice), there were no body magic awards (in fact, body magic was never mentioned in class once).

    The class was near to Sheffield Uni and lots of students would join, stay a couple of weeks, maybe come just for WI for a couple more weeks, then never return. The group would then slag off students for half the next session.

    I went to that group for 4 months and lost 6lbs overall. The group was then shut down as there weren't enough members and oddly enough I did not follow the consultant to another of her groups.

    That was Jan-April 2008 and this year I have started afresh (with my old books) on my own. Well, not completely on my own as I have Minimins, and this is one hundred times better than the group ever was. I keep a food diary and some lovely people regularly comment and offer advice on that, there is support for when you are having weak moments - every day and at any time of day! If you have a question there are always people happy to help, and there are so many inspirational stories to be found on here showing how great SW is! There are also lots of recipe ideas (and ideas for how to make junk food whilst remaining on plan if that's what I need ;)).

    ....and heck, some of the lovely people on here even know what basil is ;) :)
     
  22. prawnchopSuey

    prawnchopSuey Gold Member

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    Crikey, that was quite a rant, I apologise :)
     
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