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What Would You Do?

C: 10st11lb G: 9st4lb
#1
Hey everyone

I'm in a bit of a dilemma.

I met a guy the other week and I went out on two dates with him last week. He's really nice and everything, but I'm just not really interested. There's just no spark. I think he's be good as a friend...but so far nothing more to be honest.

The other day, I agreed that I'd go out with him tonight just for a few drinks. Now, I'm really dreading it cos I feel like I'm leading him on. Do I cancel? Do I go and make it clear that right now I'm just not sure, not interested. I don't wanna be awful to him cos like...he is a really nice guy. I'm gonna sound SO shallow here...but the two things that are putting me off him is: 1. He has a big nose. I mean a really big nose. It's just the first thing I see and I just can't seem to get past that, which is really shallow I know. Nobodies perfect. And now I sound like a cow but I'm not...it was just everyone was pointing out his nose and now it's the only thing I see.

Secondly, the other thing that puts me off is that on Saturday night, he wanted me to do something but I was having a night out with the girls. He showed up at the pub with his friends (it's both our locals so I cant blame him for that) and kinda followed me around (when I moved to talk to people, him and his croud gravitated over) and everytime I spoke to someone (mainly a guy) he was texting me like "whose that...I think I know him/her"...and I just felt suffocated.

These are all red flags which make me think, why go out with him? But he is really nice. Ughh! I feel awful now...
 
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sallyannetag

Silver Member
S: 112.94kg C: 112.94kg G: 76.2kg BMI: 44.1 Loss: 0kg(0%)
#2
Anyone that follows you around like that I would say defo dont go there!!! Especially when you have only been on 2 dates with him!!! He may be nice at the minute but that doesnt sound like rational behaviour on his side!!!
 

malaika

Lover of Extra Easy
S: 11st8lb C: 10st6lb G: 9st6lb BMI: 25.9 Loss: 1st2lb(9.88%)
#3
My opinion, is either cancel, and tell him that you are canceling because you just think of him as a friend, and you think that he thinks of you as more, and you don't want any more than friendship.
Or you could meet him and tell him all of the above. That could, however, be more difficult than talking over the phone.
With regards to his nose, well none of us are perfect by any means, and we all have flaws that others may be turned off by, however if that really turns you off there is no way you could develop a relationship.
It is obvious that you are not a match!
I also think that he already sounds controlling, so if I were you, I would call it quits before it got any deeper.
 

big bear

A bear on a mission!
S: 14st7lb
#4
I agree with the girls end it now before it gets too much he does sound controlling/not right to follow you & text those things odd....
 
C: 10st11lb G: 9st4lb
#5
Thanks for your replies :)

I feel awful cos I do like him but I think he's gone from 0-100 too quickly. I'm gonna cancel on him but in the nicest way lol
 

snuggle69

Silver Member
S: 19st12lb C: 14st1.0lb G: 11st0lb BMI: 31.8 Loss: 5st11lb(29.14%)
#7
I think your doing the right thing by cancelling...and your not being shallow if thats how you feel about his nose. Even if looks arent overly important to you if the instant attraction isnt there then nothing will ever happen!
As for the sat night in the pub....I would have text back mind your own bloomin business!
 

evilpenguin

Not evil at all
S: 21st12.5lb C: 19st10.5lb G: 16st6lb BMI: 43.3 Loss: 2st2lb(9.79%)
#8
I agree with snuggle - cancelling is definitely the right thing to do. Don't feel bad about it! xxxx
 

Mrs V

Loves Life!
S: 21st7lb C: 12st5lb G: 11st0lb Loss: 9st2lb(42.52%)
#9
I have to agree with the cancelling, or turn up and expect to leave early. Tell him the reason why you are ending it at the "friendship stage" (well apart from the big nose bit :)
 
C: 10st11lb G: 9st4lb
#10
I feel awful now. I text him cancelling and telling me (bar the big nose bit - lol at Mrs V!!) and he just text me back saying ":( I don't get it? Can we meet up soon? I really really like you"

Now is maybe the time to just ignore him lol. So much for not being a b*tch to him! I feel horrible!
 

*EB*

Gold Member
#11
Text him back and say the following:

I feel honesty is the best way forward. I dont find you attractive, so dont want to lead you on. I know that isnt what you want to hear, but i would rather tell you now than have more dates and lead you on to something that is not going to be anything more than a friendship.

He will either respect your honesty or go in a grump. Either way you have laid it on the line.

xxx
 

evilpenguin

Not evil at all
S: 21st12.5lb C: 19st10.5lb G: 16st6lb BMI: 43.3 Loss: 2st2lb(9.79%)
#12
I feel awful now. I text him cancelling and telling me (bar the big nose bit - lol at Mrs V!!) and he just text me back saying ":( I don't get it? Can we meet up soon? I really really like you"

Now is maybe the time to just ignore him lol. So much for not being a b*tch to him! I feel horrible!



Sorry but he sounds like a creep. I would delete his number! He might really like you but you can't force yourself to like him.
 

mumtheshopper

Silver Member
S: 12st6lb C: 12st4lb G: 10st7lb BMI: 29.5 Loss: 0st2lb(1.15%)
#13
UUGHH!! Dumping by text, or e-mail, is just awful, and cowardly. Sorry, but in my opinion. Phone him at least and spell out that you are just not attracted to him. Say it firmly but politely. Ten delete his numver and ignore him!!
 
C: 10st11lb G: 9st4lb
#14
Didn't end up doing it over the phone. I'm glad I did it face to face. I said I liked him as a friend and he said that's okay, friends is good. Now I don't feel as bad anymore. I think I kinda freaked out for a silly reason :p x
 

judimac

Mad old Bat with Attitude
S: 14st5lb
#15
Lets face it if the spark was there then it wouldn't matter what he looked like, so don't beat yourself up. I do think however that maybe he's said that friends is ok to just be near you. (that's me being old and cynical!) so I would make yourself as unavailable as poss.
 


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