What's your motivation?

[BeeBeeSee]

Hey guys,

as a new (re-) starter at the beginning of another journey down slim road I was wondering what gives you motivation. I found there are two sides to this, the long term goal and the every day little motivational pop up thoughts to help you get past that one bad craving.

Sometimes a long term goal can feel very far away when you have a lot to lose and are caught up in that moment of so desperately wanting to eat something you know you shouldn't, you might just stop caring for that one minute and end up beating yourself up for days over it. So what helps you on a day-to-day basis?

I always used to think as my long term goal as perhaps a holiday. Or that seminar I'm going to in August for a fortnight. But I realised they are actually just my short term goals. Because I don't want to cling to it as a set date and give myself permission to fall into bad habits after. It's a bit of a trap for me to focus solely on that one date for that reason. But these short term goals help me to get through the day. Or sometimes even just that minute of temptation. The thought of fitting into that particular skirt or those nice jeans, how it would feel wearing them. And visiting with my family (who live abroad) who I haven't seen in a long time and not worry about being even bigger than the last time I saw them. Those are the snap shots, mini fire works popping in my mind to give me little bursts of motivation and strength.

So I've been thinking what actually are my long term goals. And it comes down to this. My long term goal is to be a healthy weight, not being concerned of whether I can go on that particular activity with my friends coz I might make the kayak wobble and nearly sink (yep, that happened). I don't want to fret about events and wonder if I'm able to join in on everything. I want to be able to do everything because I choose it, not because it's the only thing I feel safe to do due to my size. I often get defensive or even slightly aggressive with people and I know deep down it's because I take things way to personally because I am uncomfortable in my own skin. So I would like to be a calmer person and just be who I genuinely would be if I wasn't constantly aware of my weight.

That's my long term goal. To just live and enjoy life and all its moments without hindrance.

So what are your goals? What are you looking forward to? And how do you think the weight loss is going to improve your life?

 

[Becka]

This is a great post and has really got me thinking! You are right about the long term goals we set not really being long term goals and it makes so much sense. When starting out on a new plan the furthest I think about is a year ahead and I would call that my long term goal. But my long term goal is actually the rest of my life. Once slim, that is where I want to stay so thinking of reasons/goals to stay that weight would really help me.

Like you my long term goal is to be a healthy weight and be able to enjoy life the way I want to instead of the way I have to because of my weight. Little things like knowing I can sit on any chair without the fear of it giving way under me and fitting in to a chair with arms. Just feeling comfortable in clothes and being able to shop in any shop and wear whatever I choose instead of having to wear whatever fits. The freedom of being able to do what I want instead of what my weight permits would be amazing.

The biggest thing driving me at the moment is knowing any weight I lose will help me conceive. I have been trying for 20 months and in that time only conceived once which sadly ended 9 weeks later. Other little things like fitting into old clothes, being able to run around with my daughter, not being embarrassed to see friends because I'm fatter, not being the failure who always starts a new diet on a Monday and gives up on that same Monday after I told everyone that I was certain this was the one I would stick to. There are loads of reasons for me to lose weight and these far out-weigh the reasons for not. x

 

[BeeBeeSee]

Thank you Becka for your reply, yes I think we're on the same page here. People often say that diets are a change of habits and a way of life rather than just a short period of time. And I think because this particular diet is a temporary thing by nature, I need to bear in mind that the reason why I'm doing this is not temporary and not short term.
The whole short term vs. long term reminded me of myself a few years ago. I was going away to Africa for a while for volunteer work and I had about 9 months before going and I was so determined to lose weight before. But in my mind it was still far away and as it was getting closer I mentally gave up on the idea because the closer it got the less likely I was to lose the amount I wanted. And guess what, I was just as heavy going there. It was a wonderful experience but I think I would have taken more away from it and would have been more adventurous out there, had I not road blocked my own success. And it was because I wasn't thinking that every day spent eating well/sticking to the plan would be a day that benefited my health and the rest of my life.

I do wish you the best of luck with your goals, I can imagine it being a real incentive. Glad we started together, hopefully we can motivate each other to see it through xx

 

[char1990]

Hey BeeBeeSee .. How Weird is that, we are starting on practically the same day, with practically the same weight .. How are you doing so far? Today is my first day so not going to bad I guess.

My long term goals are EXACTLY the same as yours - I was reading your long term goals and agreeing with everything. I just want to be able to do what I want to do and not think twice about it because "oh, will I be having a really bad day then?" because an average day to me, in terms of feeling fat and looking fat and having low confidence, is every day, therefore, I do pretty much nothing when it comes to going out - stay in my comfort zone I guess, but not for long I hope. Basically, I want to live the life of a normal 22 year old. I can count on my fingers how many times I've been out out - as in restaurant/bar/pub/club - in the past 4 years, which is really sad I think, and that's what I want to change.

My short term goals are, at the moment, to lose a bit of weight for my mum's birthday as I know we will be celebrating in one way or another - which is on May 13th - then to lose a bit more weight for my university summer show which starts on the 13th June, and I also have a size 16 pair of fitted jeans to get into, hopefully they will fit nicely for my summer show, that's be great! And also, my mum just gave me another goal by rolling her eyes at the fact I'm trying Exante - again. I didn't tell her, but she saw my shake on the side and obviously realised what I'm doing, and these were her words: "if you can't do WeightWatchers than how are you going to do that?" << How nice and encouraging? It really got to me actually, but going to turn that into pushing me to prove to everyone, and most of all myself, that I can do it, I can achieve that goal of being happy in my skin for ONCE.

And now I'm going to breathe

 

[jael001]

Doing a diet like this is much easier than doing a food-based diet where you have to choose the right foods and cook them the right way. You dont even have to think about food on this diet, you just open a pack and that's it. Dont let your mum or anyone else discourage you, if you want to do it, you can do it!

 

[BeeBeeSee]

Hey BeeBeeSee .. How Weird is that, we are starting on practically the same day, with practically the same weight .. How are you doing so far? Today is my first day so not going to bad I guess.

My long term goals are EXACTLY the same as yours - I was reading your long term goals and agreeing with everything. I just want to be able to do what I want to do and not think twice about it because "oh, will I be having a really bad day then?" because an average day to me, in terms of feeling fat and looking fat and having low confidence, is every day, therefore, I do pretty much nothing when it comes to going out - stay in my comfort zone I guess, but not for long I hope. Basically, I want to live the life of a normal 22 year old. I can count on my fingers how many times I've been out out - as in restaurant/bar/pub/club - in the past 4 years, which is really sad I think, and that's what I want to change.

My short term goals are, at the moment, to lose a bit of weight for my mum's birthday as I know we will be celebrating in one way or another - which is on May 13th - then to lose a bit more weight for my university summer show which starts on the 13th June, and I also have a size 16 pair of fitted jeans to get into, hopefully they will fit nicely for my summer show, that's be great! And also, my mum just gave me another goal by rolling her eyes at the fact I'm trying Exante - again. I didn't tell her, but she saw my shake on the side and obviously realised what I'm doing, and these were her words: "if you can't do WeightWatchers than how are you going to do that?" << How nice and encouraging? It really got to me actually, but going to turn that into pushing me to prove to everyone, and most of all myself, that I can do it, I can achieve that goal of being happy in my skin for ONCE.

And now I'm going to breathe

I can understand how that comment would have made you feel. I've been in similar situations many times before that I felt that I was disappointing my mum when I didn't manage to see through yet another diet. Then again, I'm sure most people have something in their lives that is an ongoing struggle for them, but perhaps because it isn't food related it's not as obvious as a weight problem. Surely they would all agree that far worse than trying over and over again would be not to try at all. So keep going hun
Just come here for support, same as me, and we can help each other.

I've finished my second day today, it's been fine actually. I must say I am surprised I haven't had any major headaches yet, just a dull blocked feeling in my head and I've been very tired. But so far so good. My WI day is going to be a Thursday I've decided so I'm going to have my first proper weekly weigh in a week from today. I'm quite excited to be honest. The biggest challenge is that of changing habits. I've come home quite late but had my dinner before going out. And now I would have a good old dig through my cupboards before bed. So to avoid the temptation, I'm avoiding the kitchen altogether, just sitting in bedroom now with mug of peppermint tea, ready for bed

Anyways, I hope your day's been good today, have another good one tomorrow, one at a time and you'll have lots of successes lining up in no time! xx

 

[Alia]

My long term goal is to be healthy - if I try to go further than a year from now it sends me round the bend. I've always had a weight problem since being a toddler and its never really affected my health as far as I know but now here I am approaching 40 and with very limited mobility at 31 stone - im going month by month and hope I can be as determined then as I am now - I agree this plan removes the danger of food, i constantly make the wrong choices and doing Exante thouse choices are removed and can no longer mess up my healthy living plan.

I'm a mum to 7 children and my youngest at 2 certainly misses out as I cant run around after her and have become some what of a recluse so in affect by weight problem is affecting her childhood and I feel so guilty for that - Evdry day Im telling myself this will be my final weightloss journey no matter how long it takes, I want tombe able to enjoy life and not be in constant pain.

 

[Alia]

When I was pregnant with my eldest daughter who is now coming up for 20 I met a lady who was also pregnant and also had a weight problem but at that time she was probably about 10 stone heavier than me (thats heavy bearing in mind I was around 23/24 stone at that time. We've kept in touch over the years, our babies were born a day apart. As bad as this sounds I used to feel slim next to her even though I was hugely over weight myself. She's part of my motivation now as she had a gastric bypass and todate has lot about 13-14 stone and I cant even recognise her from her picture, she already looks amazing and I want that to be, I need it to be me cause Im at the point where I have to do this or my weight will eventually kill me - Thats my motivation too.

 

[Determinationiskey]

Fantastic long term goals ladies. Good luck all new starters. It looks like you all have your heads in the right place. As you all say its about learning how to change habits of a lifetime and not going back to bad habits when the weight is off. The goal weights become less of a challenge and motivation increases as u loose. Take care all

 

[AvaQuaver]

My goal is to lose two stone in ten weeks and then I shall take it one week at a time until I get to goal. My motivation... being a slim size 12 instead of a baggy size 18. Being able to wear lovely clothes, keeping up with my toddler, feeling healthy and physically looking at my best.

Good luck ladies. x x

 

[jael001]

Around the time I started doing the diet there was another thread with our top reasons for losing weight, it makes a fun read http://www.minimins.com/exante-off-topic/310650-my-top-5-reasons-losing-weight.html