Where are the parents?

Discussion in 'Slimming World Off Topic' started by big bear, 27 October 2011 Social URL.

  1. big bear

    big bear A bear on a mission!

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    There has been about 20 youths hanging around outside my flat...they were there last night & set fire to the bins. I called the police twice & eventually they came and sorted it.

    They are back tonight throwing fireworks/bangers & setting fire to stuff...when the police come they just run off...

    Why don't the parents do anything? Would you let your 13/14 year old out on their own at 10pm?

    Just so annoyed as on my own with the 2 wee ones which last night they managed to wake up! Had enough of them now!
     
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  3. xMandyDx

    xMandyDx Determination is Key

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    I know the feeling. We had a couple of young lads up here about 3 weeks ago who were drunk as a pair of skunks, sitting in a car, blaring, and I do mean blaring the music. It felt like I was attending a concert in my own bedroom. I called the police twice, same as you, and it was 4am by the time they came and told them to shove off. And the minute the police left, they went right back to the car and started it up again!!!
     
  4. Happy Holidays

    Happy Holidays Gold Member

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    Having been the parent of 13/14 year olds I can see a different view point.

    The parents will be at home thinking the love of their life is with friends having a nice time. No mine weren't allowed out after 10pm until they were older. Unless the police actually go to their homes & let the parents know the parents will be oblivious.

    IMO their behaviour all stems from society being far too lenient on youths & giving them far too much freedom & not enough discipline. OK I'll stop there as I could go on & on & on:rolleyes:
     
  5. Bunnylush

    Bunnylush Gold Member

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    This. As a Mother of two boys. It's different for us as we live in a tiny village , where in summer you'll see 7 yr olds or younger out till ten. We have a fantastic football area and park at bottom of the road, 2 mins away. So yes in summer my little cherubs were probably out, burning up energy playing footy , down the park. We are lucky, they have never been in trouble with the police, or been tempted to act the idiot. Too interested in football or Xbox.
    When people say where are the parents , it does amuse me a little. I mean does everyone expect parents to hang out on the streets with their kids? It doesn't work like that I'm afraid. It's disgusting that the ones your talking about , seem to not have been brought up to know right from wrong , which is parents responsibility. X
     
  6. Shirleen

    Shirleen Gold Member

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    I don't believe there are many 'parents' on this country, parental responsibility has been eroded by liberal do gooders, who have foisted their liberalism onto society where it's more important to allow children to choose than it is to discipline them.

    It's wrong to punish them, but right to praise good behaviour, ok I'll go along with that to a point. But that point is way way further back than the liberal want!
    A child needs boundaries to feel safe and cared for, you cannot apply adult logic to this. Adults want freedom and choice, children need boundaries and a firm sense of what is acceptable.

    I grew up without any boundaries, I would have been one of those kids hanging about all night. We didn't because it wasn't done in the 80's.
    I was taken into care age 15 and it was a revelation! I was given a curfew of 10pm and missed it twice, the first time I was grounded, the second a policeman was waiting to tell me off! I felt finally that someone cared!
    Yes our teenagers will rebel at our rules, that's part of growing up, and parents need to persevere through the sulks and tantrums, because that is their job! If you can't hack that then don't have kids!

    Ok rant over, oh and I'm not a perfect parent far from it, but my kids know the boundaries and are respectful and polite!
     
  7. kingleds

    kingleds Gold Member

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    Shirleen. Think you might be doing us liberal dogooders a disservice my love. I would put myself firmly in the liberal dogooders category, but if I ever had children I would never allow them out that late at night. Nothing to do with liberal, everything to do with safety. In fact, I'd go as far as to say that a 14/15 year old would have a much earlier curfew than 10pm were they mine. Liberal attitudes to things don't necessarily convert into lackadaisical parenting. My father was very liberal in his opinions. (treat people well, welfare state is good, have your own opinions, look beyond colour, race, sexual orientation etc etc etc). I wasn't allowed out of the house after dark till I was 16, not allowed out till my home work was done, and would never in a million years have considered sitting on a car in the middle of the night blaring out music ( in the v unlikely event that I would have got the courage to sneak out) I was scared of my father in a very healthy way, but I respected him immensely.

    Contrast with my mother, a very conservative woman in her attitudes and someone I count myself lucky I did not have to live with until i was old enough to ignore her. She has managed to fail completely in her role as a mother with myself, and my 2 younger siblings. No curfew, do what you want, don't really care what you do, feed yourself, look after yourself. Completely useless frankly.

    Anyway, it's terrible that these kids are doing this, it's even more terrible that when the police turn up they do sweet FA. I don't know what to suggest, and we struggle with it ourselves as we live above a shop. Often I find being polite and asking them to keep it down works well. They are used to be shouted at so a calm manner often disarms them.
     
  8. ransom-x

    ransom-x Full Member

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    I think that's a myth teenagers don't want rigid boundaries because that's what they rebel against. Maybe smaller children do but teenagers like to be treated fairly and with respect. My mother would allow me out as late as I wanted as long as she knew were I was which was a fair ruling so I never disobeyed it. I also would never do something like what those kid were doing because part of my mothers liberal mantra was to treat others well. Conservatism does nothing but breed hatred IMO.
     
  9. GrannieAnnie

    GrannieAnnie Silver Member

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    Regarding the police in these situations, I`m afraid they`re either tied up with too much paperwork and red tape to attend when needed (I`m nothing to do with the police) or their hands are tied with the same "liberal" attitudes, rules and regulations as the rest of us.

    They`re not allowed to give them a thick ear (which is sometimes needed) and if they did social services would come down on them like a ton of bricks. I`m of the old school I`m afraid. Children need boundries both at home and at school. The so called do-gooders who tell us we musn`t tell other people`s children off have got it all wrong. Primary school kids that are allowed to do what they want can often get in trouble with the police when they are older. Boundries begin as soon as they can walk and talk.

    I know things are different now. My own grandchildren are being brought up very differently to how I brought my children up and how I was brought up. They do what they want and I can see trouble ahead and have told my sons what I think but thats all I can do. Yet if I tell my grandchildren off they do as I say.

    To get back to the beginning, school was like joining the army and any adult could phone the school to report you if you were in uniform. You respected the teachers and all other adults. The local bobby knew everyone`s name and you knew his.

    I`m not viewing the past with rose tinted glasses but some things have changed for the worse.
     
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