Where did you get your habits from?

Discussion in 'Bring your Head Inside and your Body will Follow' started by Just Peachy, 25 January 2010 Social URL.

  1. Just Peachy

    Just Peachy Slowly But Surely

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    Only recently I realised just how much I emotionally ate. I knew I did it, but I didn't understand to what extent. I think that for a lot of us, this realisation has been the motivation we needed to start this whole process up.

    I've been reading a lot lately about it and something that comes up often is that emotional eaters are often encouraged to celebrate or appease their emotions with food, or that they're not "taught" how to eat properly. All of that very often from a very young age so it becomes engrained. Others find release in food later on after difficult times in their lives.

    I was just wondering if people had thought about where or who they had gotten their habits from? Has it helped you understand why you eat? Are you resentful or understanding?

    Some pretty deep stuff here ladies and gents :D
     
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  3. The Rose

    The Rose Rosie

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    Hi peachy this is an excellent post and I truely believe that understanding where we have come from will give us the tools to change. I know for sure that when i was younger we didnt share our emotions openly - but i certainly do now. My children are also encouraged to voice opinions and hurt and pain - to anyone that will listen and be there for them. Hiding our emotions and then drowning them down even further with food has certainly been a probem for me, but I am now becoming very vocal and letting others know how i feel and what i want - and what is acceptable - if that makes sense.

    Thank you for starting this because it also makes me realise how far i have come
     
  4. CrazyBrit

    CrazyBrit Silver Member

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    Mostly I got hit round the back of my head by my Father if I was misbehaving, then bought food as a consolation by my Mother.

    Ah, many happy childhood memories of crying into a burger :D
     
  5. Tummy Tamer

    Tummy Tamer Full Member

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    As Abraham Lincoln said "I care not so much who my Grandparents were as what their Grandson will be"

    It doesn't matter where we got our habits from, what matters is being aware of the things we do that don't help us, and knowing that the power and decision to change them lies entirely with ourselves.
     
  6. Just Peachy

    Just Peachy Slowly But Surely

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    Tummy-I know what you're saying and I for one am desperatly trying to change my habits. I still think it's interesting to see where they come from perhaps to better understand why it is that we do the things we do.

    CrazyBrit-yeah... my dad was away a lot too and wasn't too adequate as a parent and my mum definitely made up for it by giving me all the food I wanted, cos he wasn't able to fix it himself. Yay for dads!
     
  7. CrazyBrit

    CrazyBrit Silver Member

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    Aww. I do love my dad. I just accept that he had the occasional temper flare-up. But that was his generation. I could hardly claim to have been an abused child :D

    I'd eat when upset, when celebrating, when bored (this is still my number 1 threat, as it's something you can do at your desk to relieve work boredom), and generally any emotion - positive or negative - was rewarded by food.

    Now I go reward good behaviour by playing a game I like, or watching a film, and so on. It's just frustrating that I work in an environment where I'm not allowed to paint miniatures at my desk when I have naff all to do. And I have naff all to do a LOT.
     
  8. XEliseX

    XEliseX Member

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    My habits are from two things, firstly from being bored and secondly from being lazy.

    When im bored i tend to snack on junk food alot! its not as bad lately because im starting to fill my days and evenings up so that im quite busy, but if i am bored and reach for a snack i now ask myself if i am hungry, if i am then i get a healthy snack, if im not then i find something to do untill the feeling passes.

    The lazy side of things im still working on, because i have such full days now the last thing i want to do is cook healthy meals from scratch, in the past this is were takeaways were ordered, sometimes 3 times a week :eek:. we dont have takeaways anymore but i eat alot of convience food but healthy, like weight watches meals for example, because you can just bung them in the microwave and it tells you the total calories on the box :rolleyes:

    I really need to break this habit but im finding it hard to find the time to cook from scratch when im working, plus running a household, sorting out my son, and also making sure that i eat at a reasonable time so i can go to the gym of an evening.xxx
     
  9. CrazyBrit

    CrazyBrit Silver Member

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    I so totally get the lazy thing. Even though I thoroughly enjoy cooking, cooking a meal after a full day at work? Blergh!
     
  10. Silence

    Silence Bouncing back

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    Great thread Peachy!
    I've spent quite some time trying to get to the bottom of my emotional eating. From the start I've been acutely aware of the problem and I thought that the way to resolve it and stop dieting was to analyse why I ate.
    Actually it turns out that I'll use almost any excuse to eat; boredom, feeling down, celebrating. For a long time eating, it turns out, was how I expressed myself. For me, this came from family habits. It came from indulgent meals to celebrate and chocolate to commiserate and comfort. Then, as a teenager, I had a hard time with my mum and I started to comfort myself more and more with food because I "deserved" it and because it's all I knew. Then through college and uni when I was stressed with assignments and exams it was the same old story, feel stressed = comfort food... until I was over 300lbs and realised how bad things had become.
    I've been trying to lose weight for almost two years now and every day I've fought the habits of a lifetime, sometimes winning, mostly losing. It's taken me a long time to realise that the only way to do this is slowly and surely, taking small steps to change my habits and my mindset. It's just hard when you're surrounded by the very people who taught you to live this way in the first place.
     
  11. Just Peachy

    Just Peachy Slowly But Surely

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    Silence, I love your blog by the way, I read it every day but never comment hehe.

    I can really appreciate what you said there and I sympathise. It really is a struggle too and I'm so glad I don't live with any family members; I can't imagine how much harder it must be. Nevertheless, all of my best friends are foodies and most of our social life has to do with eating at good places, trying new things, cooking, baking, so it's definitely difficult. I mean there's always something you can do about it, fit it in your daily diet, eat a smaller portion etc but it's easy to get sucked into it. Just this morning I made a huge breakfast for everyone because we felt like it, I didn't wanna be tempted by bacon so we compromised with my fruit salad but also their bacon. Slowly but surely, right? :)
     
  12. Silence

    Silence Bouncing back

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    Awww Peachy, thanks! You should comment!
    Slowly, but surely is the best way to go. I get what you mean about friends as well... my friends are the same, when we go out, we go out for tea or I cook (cos I'm the real foodie in the friendship group). Saying that, I do cook healthy food most of the time when they come over for dinner. Mind you, it usually goes down as an excuse to overeat and eat non-diet food, so that doesn't always work!
     
  13. Just Peachy

    Just Peachy Slowly But Surely

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    Aw, I might just do :)

    Yeah I know what you mean, I'm known as the cooker but also the baker which is my true weakness. Portion control is a big issue for me too; I was never really into junk, just ate as much healthy food as I possibly could just because I could. Trying to sort that now :)
     
  14. 10st10lbs

    10st10lbs Gold Member

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    Interesting post, made me consider.. I think I resent my family a bit for over-feeding me when I was 6-9 years old, as after that, I remember just being bigger than all the kids in my class. I know I could have said no to the food, but I didn't really have a choice back then, it was literally 'eat what is put infront of you, when it is put infront of you'. Now it's still kind of the same but if I'm preparing the food, it's a lot easier just to make a little bit less so that I don't end up eating the extra.

    The only person who used to eat heavily in my family was my dad, but even he doesn't eat that much anymore. I can't say he had anything to do with me eating heavy, but it just made it seem like it was OK. Also, I think being left to my own devices (the biscuit box) while my sisters went off and did their own things was a factor that made my habits turn bad. I can, hand-on-heart, say I felt neglected from the beginning because I wasn't skinny like them and they didn't want to play with me like they did with our cousins, so once I became fat and couldn't see a way back, I just kept going. But no more! I understand the reasons behind my over-eating were stupid, it was just a tiny snowball rolling down a snowhill until it turned into a snowblob - ME!

    Thanks for this post, I'm never looking back! xxx
     
  15. mich3113

    mich3113 Member

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    as a child we had takeaways and a treat, then as a teenager cause i was very shy i would avoid social situations, and comfort ate instead, then somwhere along the line i fell in with a friend who was very aware of her weight, on the anorexic side i think, just hanging out with her made made more aware of my weight and i lost a good bit. then i met my now husband and put a lof of weight back on, over the years, i seemed to eat alot and drink alot,(was fun a t the time!) 'di always seem to go to extremes with things.

    thats what i now am changing about my self. more self control and to just think of food and like diesel you put in your car, and not use alcohol to increase my confidence, i have to feel comfortable in my own skin, im tryng to be the person i really have always wanted to be, especially b4 i'm 30 which is this december!! ah dreaded 30! good luck to every one with their own weight loss journeys!:0)
     
  16. KookieDoh

    KookieDoh Ugly duckling going Swan.

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    I always kinda knew I was an emotional eater but it was only when I was dianosed with BDD that I began to discover where my habits came from and what my triggers were.

    My mother used it as a way to show love so when I got upset with the way my face looked, my developing body, I hated myself and felt deformed and unlovable to I needed to find love from food.

    To this day it amazes me how long my condition was undianosed. Since early childhood I remember thinking I was a physical freak so I'd eat and then I gain weight and that would make me feel worse. Then I would start to lose weight and get upset because I began to notice my "flaws" even more and it would drive me back to food.

    I am glad that I am recieving help. I just wish I had been dianosed much younger.
     
  17. Ellem

    Ellem Full Member

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    I think my habits mainly come from childhood where I learned that food was a thing that made you happy. My mum was always on a diet, we'd always eaten a super healthy diet because of that. However, whenever junk food came into the house at birthdays, xmas or because a guest had brought something, we all descended upon it like vultures and it never lasted a day in our house. As a result I associated it with happy times and also as something you eat really fast.

    I was overweight as a kid, from about age 9, but I think this was mainly due to laziness rather than anything else. I was probably an early version of the kids you read about in the newspaper now who are glued to the TV or their video games. My dad worked for a satelite company so we were one of the first families in my street to get satelite TV and so I had kids channels on all day. I ate a healthy diet but was possibly being given too big portions as well.

    My bad food habits really came about when I was living with my ex. He was very controlling in general and especially so around my food habits. If he had his way we would have lived on 2 packets of 8p noodles from Tescos each day. He'd go mad if I dared spend our money on fruit and veg. If we ate out and I got dessert he'd go in a huff with me and barely speak to me for a week after. This only resulted in me becoming somewhat obsessed with junk food. I was utterly depressed in this situation and basically turned to junk food. Whenever he went out I went to the shop and bought as many bars of chocolate/cakes/sweets that I could afford. I'd binge on them until I felt ill and then get upset with myself. I done this for about a year and a half and went up to nearly 17 stone.

    We split up and things got better but the bingeing kind of stuck with me. I seem to be able to manage months where I'm fine. I even got down to 12 stone at one point. However my new problem was taking it to the opposite end of the scale and going on really extreme diets where I cut out particular food groups and/or exercised constantly. Only to get to a point where I couldn't keep it up and went back to overeating and doing no exercise. After going on an extreme diet/exercise regime in late 2008/early 2009 where I got down to 12 stone I've been doing the on off binge thing ever since.

    So for the past two months I decided to take control of it and attempt not to binge. I wasn't dieting or anything, just not bingeing on lots of food. If I wanted a chocolate bar I would buy 1 bar instead of 6 + crisps + cake. Basically I tried to stop the habit and I managed to stabilise my weight. Now I have broken the binge habit I decided this week I would start to diet but not to extreme, it's a case of trying to stay under 1500 cals and doing some more exercise and avoiding all the old habits.

    I didn't mean for that to be so long sorry.
     
  18. sparklebug

    sparklebug Full Member

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    I've always had a sweet tooth, when i was at school i just had to visit the sweet shop, i still love sweets along with cakes and chocolate. I used to have cake for breakfast followed by another cake and then some chocolate, you would think a 35 year old would know better ;) I've also drunk a lot of cola in the past, about 3-4 litres a day, to be truthful i just haven't grown up and still ate the things i did when i was a kid, only difference is now i'm lazy and not as active.
     
  19. CrazyBrit

    CrazyBrit Silver Member

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    No need to apologise, Ellem. We're all here to help each other :)
     
  20. Pink!

    Pink! Silver Member

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    I used to blame my mum for my weight, because she was massively overweight when I was a kid and I picked up all of my bad habbits from her. But I've grown up, I realised that yeh, when I was a kid it was mum's fault, because she was in charge of what I ate and when; but now, it's all on me. Yes I started life with bad habbits, but it's my choice and my personal responsibility to change.
     
  21. MadameLaMinx

    MadameLaMinx Gold Member

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    My emotional eating came from childhood. My mother was a chronic depressive and would binge eat bags and bags of chocolate bars when she was feeling down. She would encourage us to join her in eating the stuff as it made her feel less greedy, I suppose. So I learnt fairly early that if you felt sad, the best way to fix it was to eat a lot of chocolate.

    Over the years I too have suffered with chronic depression and have found solace in junk. It is only really now that I am teaching myself better eating habits.
     
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