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Who gets told 'you should stop now'?

#1
Today two people have commented that I should stop the plan as I've lost enough weight. It doesn't annoy me, I just feel bemused as I still have a really big gut and need to lose at least another half stone, but very probably quite a bit more. It's not jealousy or anything horrible like that, I think it's genuine. Does make me laugh though. Do you get told this and how do you respond?
 
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#2
Yes a few people have said this to me as well and I don't know how to take it really. I'm still overweight so obviously do need to lose more... I just say I've got a bit more to go (it's actually over 2 stone lol).
 

shivvy1211

Silver Member
#4
My husband said to me on a few occasions a couple of weeks ago that I didn't need to lose anymore. I have still a stone or more to lose.

I think he just misses us having our wine and snacks on a Fri and Sat night.
 

HelsAngel

Silver Member
#5
I had ot before when I lost weight a few years ago. I got told I looked boney, gaunt, haggered and that that I'd lost too much weight. I tried not to let it bother me but it did. I maintained for about 2 years but after the first 6 months people were saying to me that when I'd first got to goal I looked ill. Little did they know that I was exactly the same weight then as I was when I was "ill".

I just think sometimes it can be quite a drastic change for people and you will look different to them. However, remember that choosing a goal weight is no different to choosing to lose weight in the first place. It's your decision and if you want to lose more weight, go for it. As long as you're in a healthy BMI and feel happy, that's all that matters.
 

-Laura-

Silver Member
#6
All the time before I called target. I found it difficult because I still don't feel any thinner than when I started (although I've been charity-shopping old clothes, and I can see a HUGE difference), so you don't really know if people are saying it to be nice, or because you're in danger of looking gaunt and ill, or because you do actually look just right despite not feeling it and not necessarily fitting into a 'healthy' weight range, or because they're just not used to seeing you with less weight on you, or what!!
 

LittleFlutterby

Fluffy lil flutterby :)
#7
i havent- but i do hope someone says it to me one day (lol)

i guess people tend to see us how we used to be, and think "ok you've lost Xlb, maybe thats it" because diets *can* be addictive

but it begs the question- when *do* you stop? i saw someone on another forum who's target BMI was 17.9, which is classed as medically underweight. my bmi was 14 once, but i was very sick. no way would i say that i want to get there. but my fear is i would get to my target weight (12s 7) and say "well, i can always go down another half stone"...and keep going. its a slippery slope...its scary

sorry, went slightly off topic then :\
 
#8
I have it every single day now work is the worst with staff and regulars telling me to eat and trying to make me have some of the cake at the end of the bar. I've just started to laugh it off!
Can't wait to get these 7-14lbs off so no one can tell me to stop anymore!
 

katty

Silver Member
#9
i've just had a weekend up north with my family, haven't seen them since the start of sw. i had the following responses
"you are looking really well, good on you"
"you look ill, you've lost far too much weight"
"stop losing now"
"you look like you need a decent meal down your neck. dont lose anymore weight"
"by heck kathryn, you've dropped some weight"
"your arse has disappeared and you need to get some decent make up for ya face, you look old",
the list could go on, but i think you get the jist. i think it all just came out(from different family members), i dont think they really knew what to say in all honesty. i let it pass over my head and told them i will set my target as i am now....but i'm not, i've got 12lb to lose and it was MY target and i will blooming well acheive it. 10 stone is not unreasonable for a 5 foot 2 woman, i'm a size 12 as it stands and in my familys defence they've never seen me below a size 18 in 15 years so i think its a shock. but still....people should learn when to zip it lol :D
 
#10
Today two people have commented that I should stop the plan as I've lost enough weight. - - - - Do you get told this and how do you respond?
You say "thank you, it is kind of you to be concerned" and then you carry on doing what you want to do.

It is my standard response to anyone who tells me what to do - thank them, say something meaningless ("there may be something it what you say" "you could be right" "that's an interesting point you are making") which sounds as if I am agreeing. Then I just carry on as normal. In my experience there's no point in arguing or reasoning with people, it's just a waste of my time.
 

lolacola

Silver Member
#11
Yeah a couple of people have said it to me, ironically, I'm now only 2.5lb away from target but I'm thinking of resetting my target because I'm not happy still with my tummy and the tops of my arms, and I want to get down into the next dress size down, then I'll be happy :D
 

clairedebear

clairedebeardekins
#12
People generally say that because they are jealous. They know if you lose more weight you will be thinner and probably prettier than them - they are just looking out for themselves! Diet until you feel happy - its for you - not anyone else!
 
#13
My family say this to me all the time and things like I'm not allowed to lose more weight. I've got about 7lbs to go. I get very annoyed about it because my cousin does weight watchers and is much smaller than me yet nothing gets said to her. At group this week I was asked why I still come because surely I don't need to lose more weight. Really winds me up. I'll stop when I feel completely happy in myself not because people are telling me to
 
#14
Yes Im starting to get people saying this to me too but i still have 13lb to loose until my bmi is in the healthy range and that is my target, i think because they have seen me at a size 24 clothes and now i am inbetween a 14 - 16 and 5 stone lighter, it is a big differenece but i am still not happy with my tum so i will continue until i feel a bit better about it ... i tend to take no notice of what my work colleagues are saying anyway because they are all struggling to loose weight so???? Trish x
 
#15
This is your diet, your goal - whatever anyone else thinks, it should always be up to you. As someone else said, its not worth arguing about so just pass the comments off without confrontation and do your own thing anyway.

At group this week I was asked why I still come because surely I don't need to lose more weight. Really winds me up. I'll stop when I feel completely happy in myself not because people are telling me to
At group last week our C was singing the praises of her target members - the ones that still attend group. They all agreed that if they'd stopped coming then they wouldn't still be at a happy weight. Then she told us about all the members that reach target, stop attending group then rejoin 6 months later with more than a stone to lose.

Group is free while ever you stay + or - 3 lbs of your target (thats 7lbs that you can play around with :)) so why stop going? If not for the encouragement, then still attend for the social side of it.
 

Wegle

Full Member
#16
I get his a lot at work. It gets quite annoying. I have stopped trying to lose now as I'm at target so now I get the "You should put a bit more back on.".

My friend and I were discussing it and we wondered if because of the rise in overweight and obese people, maybe people's perceptions of a healthy body are changing. My BMI is in the healthy range and not the bottom of that range but just above the middle. So I definitely have a very healthy weight now. I think people are seeing less and less normal people at normal weight so when you do get there (and it's a big difference to how you looked before) they find it hard to accept.
 

Tiphareth

Silver Member
#17
I'm 3lbs from target and people keep saying it to me.

I just wish I could see it, I know I've lost weight as I've dropped 3 clothes sizes and the scales say it, but when I look in the mirror I think I look the same and I don't feel any different. I currently thinking of dropping my target by another 7lbs, even though one of my mini goals is to not change it.
 
#18
You know your body and you should just do what's right for you! As someone said before just thank them for their concern then move past it. When I joined Slimming World for the first time I actually had a stranger come up at my first meeting and say quite nastily 'Why are you even here?' so I know how you feel. It should be a compliment but it feels like an attack.

Congratulations on doing so well and keep at it! Reach your goal and if you feel too thin then it'll be a lot of fun being one of those thin people who complains they can't gain eh?
 
#19
I get his a lot at work. It gets quite annoying. I have stopped trying to lose now as I'm at target so now I get the "You should put a bit more back on.".

My friend and I were discussing it and we wondered if because of the rise in overweight and obese people, maybe people's perceptions of a healthy body are changing. My BMI is in the healthy range and not the bottom of that range but just above the middle. So I definitely have a very healthy weight now. I think people are seeing less and less normal people at normal weight so when you do get there (and it's a big difference to how you looked before) they find it hard to accept.
I think this is a lot to do with it. People think that being bigger is more normal and acceptable these days.

I get told a lot that I look fine, but I have a belly and a big bum, and thighs that rub together!

You do the weight loss to a weight that's comfortable for you, and bugger everyone else :D
 
#20
I can't wait for the day when I get told I should stop.
I was talking to one of my work colleagues today and telling her how much I wanted to loose and she looked really shocked even though it would take me to the top of my healthy BMI. When I think told I might then consider lowering it by another 1 1/2 stone after that she kept saying how I shouldn't loose that much even though it would still mean I was healthy BMI.
 


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