Why are friends so cruel at time ;o(

[Trash]

I've been doing SW for 4 weeks I converted from WW'ers as got fed up of feeling hungry all the time on WW;ers!

I talked my friend into starting SW with me as she has some real serious health implications because of her weight she has nearly lost her job (she is a cleaner) because of her weight she has knee and back problems and cant bend or stretch very well. Anyway Doc has been telling her for ages to lose weight - so i got her to come along to SW - in her first week she lost 9lb's and in 4weeks has lost 1.5 stones.

Now me I've lost 5lb's ;o( what is getting to me is the fact she keeps gloating and making me feel that i have been cheating! Even though i haven't! She also has been saying well i'm not suprised you "sit down at your job all day long" again not totally true - I am an administrator but i do a lot of running about with documents etc up down stairs i also walk in my lunch half hour! I might add she cleans 3 hours a day!

Why are my losses so rubbish in comparison? She started at 20stone - I started at 14st 8lb's - she has never dieted and i was following WW'ers. She continues to have takeaways at weekends - I don't! I am exercising she isn't ;o(

I don't know if i can go on with all her negative critisism - and I am the one driving her to class each week which is 9 miles away!

 

[Beckyftwx]

You answered your own question, she's 20 stone, your 14, she's never dieted before you have for years. Her loss's are going to be bigger and better but she's still a whole 6 stone bigger than you so I wouldn't feel down about her doing better. If she puts you down then she's not a very good friend.

 

[Hales]

You answered your own question, she's 20 stone, your 14, she's never dieted before you have for years. Her loss's are going to be bigger and better but she's still a whole 6 stone bigger than you so I wouldn't feel down about her doing better. If she puts you down then she's not a very good friend.

Yep thats defiantly the reason, you are alot lighter than her, so even if you did the exact same things as her every day, she would more than likely still lose more than you every week, because her body is working alot harder than yours would, because she is heavier.

Don't let her get you down, when she mentions it, tell her you're nearly in the 13s or wherever you are and how great you are starting to feel. You are still losing so its working for you.

If she carries on making you feel bad, then maybe start saying, well its easy to lose weight when you have more to lose! lol

You have done great so far, keep it up.

 

[Legomom]

I would have a quiet word. Just point out that she's making you feel very unhappy and that while your pleased she's losing well you can't really compare notes as your situations are so different.

If it helps.....I've dieted successfully many times (its not the losing thats the hard part!!!) and I always find that the faster it comes off the faster it goes back on!!! 9lbs in a week is a LOT of weight to lose. It's not sustainable in the long term. Its probably not even going to be actual fat loss anyway. Water glycogen etc etc i very much doubt she can have created a calorie deficit that size in a week no matter HOW heavy her starting point!!!

Keep doing what your doing, ignore this so called 'friend' and in 12 months you'll be happy and healthy.

 

[letmeout]

You're doing just fine. when I was mahoosive I would lose a lot of weight in a week- some of it fat, and in the early days lots of it water and glycogen. Now I'm just a bit overweight I have to do much more to lose much less. Your friend will use more calories than you ( if you both sat still for a day her body would need to use more just to sustain her weight than you do). Her loss will slow as she gets nearer goal and she will need your support and encouragement. Try to stay positive but tell her you need encouraging and your loss is less because you have less to lose and are further into your wl journey. You've been a great friend getting her started on losing weight
x

 

[clairebrookes]

I agree with everything said here but wanted to add that her comment about you having a sitting job compared to her is a load of rubbish.... Your body adjusts to whatever daily activity you do, I worked for three years a care assistant where I rarely got to sit down an was up and down stairs all day yet didn't lose any weight. It's whatever you do above and beyond your daily activities that affects weight loss.

Good luck with your losses and try not to let her get you down.... Your doing brilliantly!

 

[Rochelle1]

Yeh I agree she's 6 stone heavier and has never dieted, she is gonna lose a bit quicker. But it won't last!! It always slows down to 1-2lb a week eventually

 

[Trash]

Awww thankyou all for your supportive words and pointing out the facts to me! I guess i'm having a down day today and a "i feel real fat" day today! I am in this for the long run and this is more about a life style change rather than a quick fix!

I think I will keep on keeping on doing what I'm doing and try to ignore her comments if she continues - but maybe she will get how she is making me feel when her losses do slow to 2lb's or less a week and I can (tongue in cheek) remind her I've been losing like that from day one and had stick from her because of it!

Thanks everyone for keeping me sane x

 

[AnnaFaraday]

Does she know she is upsetting you? Why not tell her? People don't know how we feel unless we tell them. You don't have to make a big thing about it, just say "I am sorry but I find your negative comments really upsetting, so please stop".

 

[Minimunchkins]

Have you ever thought that you may be more of a friend to her than she is to you

A friend should always be supportive - honest, but supportive. .Have a word on your next drive in to class & tell her how it makes you feel as it's coming across as criticism & gloating and you just don't need it. .See how she takes it because again, a true friend should value your feelings and think before she speaks in future.

If she doesn't change - the 9 mile walk will do wonders for her body magic :8855:

 

[gazter]

Awww thankyou all for your supportive words and pointing out the facts to me! I guess i'm having a down day today and a "i feel real fat" day today! I am in this for the long run and this is more about a life style change rather than a quick fix!

I think I will keep on keeping on doing what I'm doing and try to ignore her comments if she continues - but maybe she will get how she is making me feel when her losses do slow to 2lb's or less a week and I can (tongue in cheek) remind her I've been losing like that from day one and had stick from her because of it!

Thanks everyone for keeping me sane x

To see it from her perspective slightly, she has *loads* of weight to lose, and it will take a long time, even if she has some good loses to begin with. She looks at you (and if your picture is accurate) and you are extremely beautiful with a cracking hot body, with what looks like not a lot to lose.

Your BMI is 30, so half a stone off you and loads will notice, more so than a couple of stone off her.