Why are people so horrible?

Discussion in 'Cambridge Weight Plan' started by clare56, 22 October 2009 Social URL.

  1. clare56

    clare56 Member

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    I've had such a bad day. I've lost nearly 3 stone and yesterday I treated myself to some new clothes. I went into work feeling great in the new clothes but came back feeling awful. Basically, I had loads of comments about the diet and how it was too strict, too severe, ridiculous, "you'll put all the weight back on", etc. I did look good, well better than normal and I am guessing that it's jealousy but it has really upset me, in fact I can't stop crying. I had some really *****y comments, especially from my female boss. I was shocked more than anything, I thought that everybody would be happy with my new look, happy for me, obviously not, obviously they were happier when I was a fat mess. Has anybody else had this?
     
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  3. Mini

    Mini Administrator Staff Member

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    Hi Clare,

    When you change it forces others to change around you or at the very least look at themselves...

    So for some people rather than change it is easier to pick on you and force you back into your box and thus the status quo remains.

    Enjoy your new clothes as you deserve them and try not and let other negative people get you down.

    You are doing very well and come Christmas you will be slipping into that little black dress no bother!:D

    Love Mini xxx
     
  4. Witchy

    Witchy ButtERfly

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    The people who make the nasty comments really feel threatened and have probably been shocked by how good you look and fast and feel they cannot do it themselves, I have had all this already and it just makes me stronger.

    Keep your chin up and ignore the comments and know its only a reality check to themselves.

    You take care and carry on your journey xx
     
  5. mrsessex

    mrsessex Gold Member

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    Ive had one major jealous reaction so far in 5 months...not bad...and guess what... shes a fat biatch

    IGNORE IGNORE IGNORE

    :D

    Rise above the t*ats thats what i say.

    Genuine people that like you for YOU will be pleased..the rest can go do one :D
     
  6. Suzie_

    Suzie_ Full Member

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    As Mini says, it's forcing them to look at you differently - and at themselves. Not always a comfortable thing to do.

    I've found this to be quite an interesting read on the subject:
    http://www.medicinenet.com/script/main/art.asp?articlekey=56031

    Don't let it get to you. You've done so well. :hug99: It's their issue - not yours.
     
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  7. jlm

    jlm Full Member

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    poor u clare!! the nasty pieces of work! yes am sure jealousy plays a part in it but still it is unacceptable for folk to comment to such a degree. If they dont want to compliment you on your weightloss then im sure you would be fine with that, you already know you look great and am sure have had lots of compliments from friends and family who genuinely care about you. True people on 'any' diet run the risk of putting weight on but many people gain weight whether they diet or not! This is one of the reasons I have kept CD quiet at work, i work with loads of women and couldnt face the negativity ( and a few failed CD ers who have got no further than the 1st week ) and they can be not nice at times! Please dont let them put a dampner on your fantastic achievements and remember you did this for yourself not them and you are proud!! (as you should be):happy036:
     
  8. clare56

    clare56 Member

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    Thanks so much guys, you have really made me feel better. I read that article too, it's really good. I think that it probably makes you realise who your real friends are....and yeah, the rest can certainly do one! :) Funny that the people who gave all the *****y comments are people who are obsessed about their weight. I think that it will make me more determined not to "put all the weight back on"...! If I hear that one more time....or "you have lost too much weight, you should stop now" or "it sounds very unhealthy"....no, eating like a pig is very unhealthly not this diet you t**ts! Sorry, rant over....thanks for listening and I truly love you guys :) XxxX
     
  9. Hayley 22

    Hayley 22 would like to be slim

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    Clare jealousy is an evil thing!

    Ive only been on it a week and so far i have only had one person telling me that i dont need to diet.
    If my weight is classed as obese i need to lose weight plus ii refused to by a size 16.

    I havent told many people about my diet as i dont want the comments. I dont want ot be put down about it etc. Those closest to me know and a few colleagues at work as they cant really miss the noise of my hand blender in the canteen LOL

    Ignore them, your weight loss is amazing and they're obviously jealous! They'll get over it sooner or later, either way its not your problem!

    :D
     
  10. NatalieG

    NatalieG New Member

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    Hi Clare56,

    Im not actually on the samediet but had to read your post. Some people can just be mean and it is due to them being jealous. They are frightened by your accomplishments so go in work head held high because you deserve it.

    WELL DONE
     
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  11. lunar jim

    lunar jim Gold Member

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    Clare, it's just blah blah blah. The best thing you can do is not rise to it but to stick to the diet and make sure you maintain when you get to your goal. Then their comments stand for nothing, and you win.

    I'm getting the 'don't lose any more' comments now. Or more accurately, Mrs LJ is getting 'make sure LJ doesn't lose any more'. This is despite me still having tits and a spare tyre... And in BMI terms I'm right in the middle of the 'overweight' category.
     
  12. Glittergirl

    Glittergirl Full Member

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    Some people are so horrid! Just ignore it hun, hold your head up high and be proud of that 3stone loss! Bet you looked FAB in your new clothes and they were jealous!!!
    One of my best mates has not mentioned once that I have lost weight (nearly 3stone) either i dressed well before or she cant cope with it! she is very overweight and its a sore issue for her! How hard would it be to say well done, cause i always say to people when they've lost weight!!
    You enjoy your new wardrobe....i do! :) xx
     
  13. scottishlass

    scottishlass Full Member

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    Aw Clare hun, I am so upset and angry for you. :hug99:

    I'm not on CD but on Lighter Life but had to respond to your post. You must not let these people drag you down. You have done great with your weightloss to date, and are obviously feeling much better about yourself and so you should. You should not apologise for having the confidence to go out and get yourself some new clothes and look good – you deserve to!
    Ignore the ignorant and the jealous – remember why you are losing weight, to be happier and healthier – and use this to be even more determined to look a knockout
    Chin up
     
  14. AlexIce

    AlexIce Silver Member

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    Clare, Mini is right - when someone loses weight it forces other people to re-evaluate how they see you and some people just can't deal with that.
    Take strength from knowing that what you are doing is right for you and your health. Enjoy your new clothes. Enjoy what you are doing and don't let unimportant people ruin the good feeling you should have after losing 3 stones!
    Hugs
     
  15. clare56

    clare56 Member

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    Thanks guys, love you all. I feel so much better now after reading all your kind words. Luckily, I am not in work tomorrow, I need the weekend to calm down and then I will try to be strong next week and ignore all the idiots that I work with. I can't get over people behaving this way!

    I have some very good friends in work too so I think that I'll cope with their support.

    Thanks again guys :) xx
     
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  16. Katycakes

    Katycakes Stubborn tortoise

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    As Jim & others have said, the best revenge is getting slim - and staying slim. You go for it!

    I had one very toxic pal who all along made comments behind my back - 'her face will drop' 'her bones will snap!' 'she'll pile it all back on!'... to other pals. It really hurt me. She finally ended our friendship over the phone one day over something my OH had done (met his pal, her ex, for a coffee). After 16 years of friendship... wtf? She had lost 5 stone with SW and put it all back & clearly had a problem with me losing... some people just cannot be happy for us. But really, it's themselves they cannot be happy with... best to step back, ignore it, let it go.

    xxx
     
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  17. *butterfly*

    *butterfly* Silver Member

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    This is one of the things about cd that really bugs me. I just hate that people can be so negative and judgemental, half the time they don't know wtf they are talking about and their fear of the diet is based in ignorance. I tell everyone about cd, and i have bucket loads of replies, based in scientific and medical facts, about why cd is a good weight loss programme for when they try to tell me its no good. By and large that stops them in their tracks because they really don't know what they are talking about.

    I have told everyone, luckily i'm the sort of person that doesn't care what others say really. It has made me even more determined to keep it off, so they can't say 'told you so!' hence its turned into a posistive thing by myself.

    Another comment that shuts them up, "its funny how when i was 'x'stone overweight and at high risk of obesity related illnesses, no one told me to lose weight ('because they care').... yet here i am trying to get healthy and everyone thinks they now have a right to comment, wonder why that is?"

    Keep going, ultimately you are a brilliant advert for cd, and i bet half of these people have googled it to look into it for themselves! xx
     
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  19. mrsessex

    mrsessex Gold Member

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    Sooooooooooooooooooooo true .. will use that one myself :D
     
  20. Fattack

    Fattack Likes to eat

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    They're JEALOUS doll, don't let them get to you. Keep on trucking, you are doing amazingly, and it's the best revenge you can get :)
     
  21. onlyme!

    onlyme! is a naughty girl...

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    Dont listen, just smile and walk away. I find a little grin makes them shut up! :D
     
  22. MsMunch-less

    MsMunch-less Is determined to do this!

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    :hug99::hug99::hug99:Sorry you had to go through that. On a good note, it's definately a sign you've done so well with your diet, it gets noticed! ;) I reckon with some people, especially women I guess, its either a) They can see the good looks coming through and feel threatened, or b) they are fat themselves and misery loves company,iykwim!
    Either way, please try not to let the comments get to you, and enjoy the clothes and the good feeling you have worked so hard for, don't let jealous people ruin it for you!
     
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