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Why do men do that?

Mrs Depp

Gold Member
#1
I sometimes think that putting my problems down on paper helps me to 'see' it clearly in my mind.

I've been logging onto POF for a few weeks now and am 'chatting' to a couple of blokes. One in particular has been more regular and, I admit, more fun. I've seen his pic but he hadn't seen mine, (I hate getting my pic taken and had taken loads of them until I found the right one to put on my profile.)

Anyway, he's not a 'match' for me but he'd viewed my profile so me being nosey viewed his. His made me laugh so I sent him a message letting him know I thought it was funny.

We started sending messages back and forth and really seemed to hit it off, both having the same type of humour and liking a lot of the same things. Swapped msn addys and started 'talking' on there too.

He'd asked me to describe myself seeing as he couldn't see what I look like, so I did. I was honest, telling him I'm nothing special but it didn't put him off and we continued to chat.

So last night I finally got around to taking a photo that was, in my mind, okay to add to my profile. I added it and logged off knowing that he wouldn't be interested.

Got my confirmation message from him this morning, I'm "not what he's looking for" but he wishes me well. Now, I know I should turn it around and say that he's not my type at all, and I probably will - tomorrow. But today I'm taking it hard and feeling even more worthless than I deserve to and I can't understand why.

We'd never met or spoken on the phone, so I know I shouldn't feel like I'm not good enough for anybody, but he's judged me on one photo so what if somebody else does?

So I've deleted his messages and his msn address - just need to get myself out of this mood now. Thanks to anyone who reads this, it's just me putting it down and, hopefully, clearing it out of my head.
 
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icemoose

The Diet Guy
#2
Says a lot more about him than you !

End of...
 

sazzy34

Gold Member
#3
What a shallow T****R, you are worth 100 of him,
He`s just sooooo last season lol
Lots of hugs to you mrs D everyone on here thinks your GREAT x x x x
 

Mrs Depp

Gold Member
#5
What a shallow T****R, you are worth 100 of him,
He`s just sooooo last season lol
Lots of hugs to you mrs D everyone on here thinks your GREAT x x x x
Thanks Sazzy, yeah the more I think about him (even though I shouldn't because he's not worth my time!) the more he seems to be a shallow T0$$ER!

Thanks for the hugs and the 'big-up'! Much appreciated! :D
 
#7
Mrs D, we all think you are wonderful, but I can understand how much you are hurting at the moment. You take a risk and "put yourself out there" and someone can make you feel rubbish in an instant! But it is all true that it his shortcomings that made him say that, not yours.

To be made aware of how shallow he is now is better than finding out further along the line, if you've invested more into the relationship.

Sending you lots of hugs and hope you feel better soon xxx
 

Allan G

Gold Member
#9
:D you know all the best men are married or gay :D you know where i am if you need a chat, remember you have to kiss a lot of forgs before you find a prince, hope this cheers you up, he sounds a bit of a prat, looks arent the be all and end all of a relationship, chin up :D
 
#11
(((( Carol )))))) - don't let this t***** put you off. Looks are only a tiny part of any relationship - and he could have stayed in contact as friends. Don't waste another moment thinking about him - his loss and I'm sure you are so much better off without him.

There are plenty of fantastic men out there - and when you meet the right one, you'll know.

Good luck hun, and try not to take this p***s view too persoannly. Bet he's not "god's gift" either.

Love Mike's response.
 
#12
Mrs Depp - it's all been said! This has happened to me loads in the past and it's horrid and makes you pheel sh1-ite, I know. But he's a w*nker and you're a diamond chickster, so pheckim!!!!!!!!!!


xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
 
#13
Well if hes as shallow as that youre best finding out now before you waste any more of your time chatting to him!! What a moron. dont let him get you down, hes not worth it
Thanks Starlight, better now than further down the line, I know.

Mrs D, we all think you are wonderful, but I can understand how much you are hurting at the moment. You take a risk and "put yourself out there" and someone can make you feel rubbish in an instant! But it is all true that it his shortcomings that made him say that, not yours.

To be made aware of how shallow he is now is better than finding out further along the line, if you've invested more into the relationship.

Sending you lots of hugs and hope you feel better soon xxx
I know you're right Sarah, words can really hurt sometimes, unfortunately. Even though I shouldn't be hurt, because, after all it wasn't as if we even met, there just seemed to be a great connection between us that I was willing to take further given the chance.

I would just feel sorry for the woman who ends up with him!
His loss not yours x
I DO feel very sorry for whoever ends up with him - that's if he finds anyone good enough for him. Seems to me that his type rarely do.
 
#14
:D you know all the best men are married or gay :D you know where i am if you need a chat, remember you have to kiss a lot of forgs before you find a prince, hope this cheers you up, he sounds a bit of a prat, looks arent the be all and end all of a relationship, chin up :D
You mean that rumour's true Allan?!:eek: Think I'd rather kiss forgs than frogs in future! My chin's up and staying up, slowly getting over his fickleness.:D Thanks for the offer of a chat mate. :D

(((( Carol )))))) - don't let this t***** put you off. Looks are only a tiny part of any relationship - and he could have stayed in contact as friends. Don't waste another moment thinking about him - his loss and I'm sure you are so much better off without him.

There are plenty of fantastic men out there - and when you meet the right one, you'll know.

Good luck hun, and try not to take this p***s view too persoannly. Bet he's not "god's gift" either.

Love Mike's response.
I am a tiny bit disappointed that he didn't even say "let's just be friends" because I think we could've been very comfortable as friends seeing as I didn't fancy him as such. No he isn't "god's gift" either.;)

Mrs Depp - it's all been said! This has happened to me loads in the past and it's horrid and makes you pheel sh1-ite, I know. But he's a w*nker and you're a diamond chickster, so pheckim!!!!!!!!!!

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Yeah Issy you're right, he's a w*nker and I AM a diamond chickster! lol :D

Thanks for the hugs everyone, I'm feeling much better about myslef. I'm not going to let one d*ckhead spoil my search for my prince charming, but I do know that I'm going to be a lot more guarded in future.
 

Barb

Gold Member
#15
I think you are not only annoyed at him, you are cross with yourself for allowing this complete waste of space to affect how you feel. It's all been said, I second and third it! What a complete loser, you are well out of it you lovely lady.
However, just a slight spin; you don't think he looked at your picture and thought you are actually out of his league? Hmm, wouldn't be surprised,

Lots of love
 
#16
Mrs Depp - it's all been said! This has happened to me loads in the past and it's horrid and makes you pheel sh1-ite, I know. But he's a w*nker and you're a diamond chickster, so pheckim!!!!!!!!!!


xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Ahem to that! End oph! Erm - I mean of (mine still works .. hehehe! :D)

Plenty more fish in the sea - to coin a phrase ;)

Love
 

sazzy34

Gold Member
#17
I think the real reason is because you were just too good for him, and he realised he wasnt good enough for YOU !
He didn`t want all his mates to be taking a fancy to you. Intimidated me thinks !! :D
 
#18
I think you are not only annoyed at him, you are cross with yourself for allowing this complete waste of space to affect how you feel. It's all been said, I second and third it! What a complete loser, you are well out of it you lovely lady.
However, just a slight spin; you don't think he looked at your picture and thought you are actually out of his league? Hmm, wouldn't be surprised,

Lots of love
Barb you're right, I hadn't realised until I'd just read your reply, I am more than a little bit cross with myself for letting him affect me this much.

Thank you SO much for saying that he'd think I was out of his league you lovely lovely lady! :D

Ahem to that! End oph! Erm - I mean of (mine still works .. hehehe! :D)

Plenty more fish in the sea - to coin a phrase ;)

Love
Thanks Sharon, you're so right - I'll just have to do a bit more swimming!

I think the real reason is because you were just too good for him, and he realised he wasnt good enough for YOU !
He didn`t want all his mates to be taking a fancy to you. Intimidated me thinks !! :D
Thanks Sazzy, I've been thinking about this yesterday evening at work, and I'm happy to admit that I've pulled my socks up and "washed that man right outta my hair". Everyone's right, he's a waste of my time and I know I can find a much better man who will like me for being me.

Had a lovely confidence boost at work last night, saw an old flame and he said "You've lost weight, you look great". SO nice to get a compliment especially when I needed it so much!:)
 
#19
Oh my darling what are we going to do with you....

Please please please don't even give this t0sser a second thought, he's not worth it.

In this life there are people that fancy us and people that don't. It happens to EVERYONE.

Dating online is a completely UNNATURAL process. The way we have evolved as human beings to to firstly be attracted physically and sexually. Then we find out if our personalities match. And so on.

Internet dating turns that process completely on its head and we learn to love someone's personality before knowing if we are attracted to them or not.

It causes havoc.

I have been in your shoes PLENTY of times. And of course rejection hurts. BUT you gotta dust yourself down and try again. It also happens the other way around i've chatted to someone and then seen their pic or met them and there's been no chemistry there. It's just human nature babes.

You should leave your pic on your profile though. I won't talk to anyone without a pic and it avoids situations like this (to a certain degree anyway ha!).

Carol you are a wonderful, amazing woman and i absolutely love chatting to you. You have sooo much to offer some lucky guy! And chances are you will find your prince one day.

Lots of luv
 
#20
Thanks Karen lovie,

It's not the first time and probably won't be the last:rolleyes:

The thing that pissed me off was that we'd been chatting daily for 3 weeks then I put my pic on my profile and he imediately judges me for the way I look and not for the qualities that had him slobbering previously.:rolleyes:

I'm not some gorgeous bird, I'm under no illusions as to my good points and bad points, but I don't judge blokes by their looks and would hope that he'd be mature enough to do the same for me. How wrong was I eh?:rolleyes:

Of course in an ideal world everyone would find their perfect partner, everyone would be beautiful/handsome etc, but I'm being realistic 99% of the time and looking for someone who has the right qualities and not a 14inch d*ck! :eek: He obviously wants a Jordan lookalike and not my droopy DD's - his loss not mine!;)

He's set his standards too high and it'll probably be a long long time before he realises it. :D
 


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