Why do people insist on telling me I have put on weight?

Discussion in 'General Weight Loss Discussion' started by FatboynotSlim, 13 July 2008 Social URL.

  1. FatboynotSlim

    FatboynotSlim Member

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    I'm not quite sure that this is in the right section, so mods please feel free to move. Just thought I'd write a little piece about a subject that deeply effects me. I am a 35 year old man, and I have put on a little weight :( I'm now 18 stone 4 pounds. I'm only 5ft 7" :eek: Most of my weight has been put on through comfort eating. I've made a breakthrough this week though and I'm on the road to recovery. Finally my head is in the right place and I'm ready for the challenge ahead. My problem though is this....... Why do people insist on telling me that I have put on weight? Yep! That's right I hear it all the time "You've put some weight on haven't you mate?" "You're piling on the pounds" Do people not realise that it hurts to tell people that? I can guarantee you that someone this week will tell me I have put weight on. My first reaction to this will be to seek comfort food. I will resist the temptation though. I don't know if this is something that only men suffer from, as maybe women have more tact amongst themselves? And there is another thing that I notice......and that is the 'Belly Stare' When I'm talking to someone I can see them looking at my belly, you could argue that I'm just being paranoid. I can assure you though that I'm not, and I feel very uncomfortable when they do so. Sometimes i find myself avoiding people that I haven't seen in quite a while in case they say the dreaded line. Just thought I'd share this with you all. Thanks for listening :wave_cry:
     
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  3. Taz

    Taz Spam Hunter

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    Some people are so cruel by just not thinking. Take comfort from the fact that you know more than they do. You KNOW that you will be losing the weight and the next time they see you they will be saying something completely different. If all they can focus on is your size then they are small minded
     
  4. Mini

    Mini Administrator Staff Member

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    I think people feel they have the right to inform you that you have put on weight just in case you have not noticed yourself:rolleyes:

    The very same people however are very reluctant to comment when you have lost it:confused:

    It is 50/50 when it comes to cruel comments.

    At the end of the day it says more about the person who says them...deep down they suffer themselves from an inferiority complex and use cruel comments to transfer their own sense of low self-esteem onto someone else in order to make them feel good about themselves...sick I know...

    The best advice is to ignore them which can be difficult...but it is the best option as they honestly don't see how ignorant they and insensitive they are.

    You can lose weight but they are stuck with themselves.

    Love Mini xxx
     
  5. Jellybabie

    Jellybabie Full Member

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    Hi
    I am sorry to hear that people say these things to you.
    If i put on weight, my closest family members always point it out. wHICH IS ANNOYING BECAUSE I KNOW I HAVE PUT ON WEIGHT, but i know they are saying it so that i will do something about it and are only deeply concerned about me. No-one outside of the family say anything though, and if i ask them, they just say they havent noticed, (though i think they say that to be kind).
    I think that people automatically assume that men are not so sensative about the subject as woman are, which you have proved is not true. Unfortunately we cant control what people say to us, but we can change our weight, for ourselves NO ONE ELSE!
    Dont take what people say to heart, and just brush it off! Watch their faces fall when the see the weight dropping off you. Well done in taking the step to decide to lose weight and become healthier and happier. I wish you all the best.

    Diane xx
     
  6. Lynn8124

    Lynn8124 Gold Member

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    This is what I was wondering in my post 'question for the men'. I guess men can be targets too. Some people just can't keep their gobs shut. Try not to dwell on it and show them all what you can do! :)
     
  7. Dancing

    Dancing Gold Member

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    i wish people had been honest and told me I was putting on weight. Of course I knew this myself but perhaps I would have done something about it sooner if people had told me they could notice it too! I lived in a world of denial.

    good luck with losing whatever weight you want to lose
     
  8. FatboynotSlim

    FatboynotSlim Member

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    Hi! Thanks for your kind comments. The people that tell me I have put on weight are not actually friends, they are people that I deliver to when I'm at work. It's shocking but I hardly know the peolple in question. Sometimes I will respond with. "OK so now you have pointed out the obvious, now how do you think I feel that you've mentoned it?" They're usally stuck for words. The thing is, I would never say anything derogative towards somebody, I guess I have a social skill that they're lacking and that is tact. I also find that people have a knack of saying something when I've actually lost half a stone or something. This can then trigger a binge. It's words of encouragement that I need not put downs. It's my first weigh day tomorrow. Fingers crossed that I've lost a pound or two. Thanks for the support x
     
  9. Dancing

    Dancing Gold Member

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    well you will be very encouraged from your weigh in, I'm sure. Let us know how you get on.
     
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