yr opinions please

Discussion in 'WeMITTS (We Mean It This Time)' started by lilginge, 26 January 2008 Social URL.

  1. lilginge

    lilginge Member

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    :tear_drop:eek:k this might drag abit but your opinions would be greatly apreciated,ive been friends with a girl for a good few years now and i thought we were really close then this happened............at the begining of the year i told her i had joined weight matters and how fast u can lose weight on it,i was 16.7 when i started and am now 14.9 so am really pleased,but straight from the beginging my friend was sooooo negative about it,at one point she said what i was doin was harmful to ny 2 babies and how they will stop eating if they see mummy do it(this is not the case my husband eats enough to feed the whole household every night at dinner time,and they enjoy there food)to be honest that quite upset me so i lied and said to her id come off the diet,anyway in may we are both going to the same wedding,she is not big at all shes 10stone,but the next time i spoke to her she goes"i was speakin to mike(her partner)and we both said if yr 11 stone we wont be embarassed to be seen with you,we know yr a nice person,so no pressure"(i was like thanks but at 14.9 that doesnt help)then she rings me again the other day she anounces shes on a diet now because she doesnt wana be the fat one(not that she ever will!)and now its like shes in compertesion with me..........shes won already because shes thin and pretty everything im not,i just couldnt believe her being like this,has anyone got any idea why?xxxxxsorry its just been playin on my mind for a while now xxxx
     
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  3. annie_d

    annie_d Silver Member

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    She hasn't won already at all! She sounds like a jealous pasty. You must have something that she aspires to have. Don't lie to her and don't you give up your diet, you are doing well.I think your "friend" is clearly you will outshine her on the big day.
     
  4. bexnkev

    bexnkev Silver Member

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    I've been having the same problem with my Dad, his negativity is more down to jealousy than anything else as I was bigger than him and now I'm quite a bit smaller. I'm guessing that your friend is jealous of something you have that she doesn't... you may think that she's the thin and pretty one but maybe that's not how her brain works? You've got to ignore this negativity otherwise it could derail your effort. I'd be honest about your diet and make no apology for the fact that you are trying to improve your life. Sometimes it's the ones we care about that hurt us the most? maybe try talking to her about how she's making you feel? if that's not an option, try to realise that she is the one with the issue, not you.
    Sorry, didn't mean to go on but don't want this to upset your journey x
     
  5. debz32

    debz32 Gold Member

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    hey - sounds like she's jealous !!!

    now that you're doin somethin bout your weight, she feels threatened. sounds like she has been comfortable when you were carrying extra weight and now she's afraid that YOU will get the attention.....how sad is she !!! and not much of a friend IMO

    you stick with it hun....don;t listen to her negative comments - you are worth so much more....and will look absolutely fabulous at that wedding !!!

    GO YOU !!!

    Debz xx
     
  6. blue_grapefruit

    blue_grapefruit Gold Member

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    Erm, forgive me for sticking my oar in but how can you label this person a friend?
    I'm on CD, my FRIENDS get me a water with every round of drinks at the bar, my good friends get me bottled or sparkly water. My friends admire the wedding dress i have chosen and say "you'll look so amazing in that" and say "not long to go now skinny" and get overjoyed with me at every lb i lose!

    It's defo jealousy, and you'll do well to get your chin up and ignore her. Dont you dare let anyone get you down, you're doing amazingly.

    What type of person says they wont be embarassed to be seen with you if you're 11stone? I'm sorry, but thats foul!
     
  7. DQ

    DQ Queen of the Damned

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    Talk about 'Toxic Friend' :mad: You stick to your guns, stick to your plan and ignore the jealous mare - she just wants to keep you in the 'box' she has you labelled with, and is threatened by you showing the strength to make this change.

    Hang tough mate :hug99:
     
  8. Isis

    Isis Ancient Egypt Nut!

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    Here here to everything Debz has said above lilginge.

    You DO what you WANT hun!!!! :D:D:D
     
  9. Isis

    Isis Ancient Egypt Nut!

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    Sending you some positive :vibes::vibes:, some :hug99::hug99: and loads of :girlpower::girlpower::girlpower:!!!!!!!

    D_Q used a spot on word when she said "toxic" in relation to your friend hun. I know it may not be easy to deal with this persons behaviour now as it probably wouldn't have ever shown until you decided to lose weight.

    I do know how you feel, honestly. I had an old friend from school days once, (slim, tall and blonde!) and when I was about 21 I lost 5 and a half stone with WW, cut my hair short (it was down past my bum!), dyed it blonde (I was dark brown).

    We met up again after she had been travelling for the 6 months whilst I was at WW and when I walked into the bar she said...........ABSOLUTELY NOTHING ABOUT MY APPEARANCE:mad::eek::eek::eek:

    That was the last time I ever spoke to her.


    Keep strong....xx :D
     
  10. HappyNoodles

    HappyNoodles Gold Member

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    Sorry but this person is not a friend!! Who needs enemies with someone like her in your life!
    You're doing great and she is ABSOLUTLY jelious! My friends are so encouraging and my best friend who is also big has even bought me lovely pieces of clothes sizes down for me to look forward to getting into!

    She sounds awful , I'm really sorry for not being more positive but from what you've said there's no positive to take from her!

    Keep at it hunny
    :grouphugg:
     
  11. shrm26

    shrm26 Glamorous Gran

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    Im sorry to say but this girl is not a true friend to you, she may be the thin pretty one on the outside but she's sure ugly and shallow on the inside.

    You need positive people around you who love and support you through all of lifes tribulations and dont judge you on appearance.

    The best weight you could lose right now is this "friend"!

    Love and hugs from a faceless friend xx
     
  12. lilginge

    lilginge Member

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    my husband thinks the same,i just wanted to ask you guys too lol,i think its upsetting how shes changed,we use to be such good friends xxxxthanks everyone for being truthful xxxxx
     
  13. spannerpan

    spannerpan Full Member

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    I agree with everyone else on this post. Your friend is jealous. How dreadful to say you would be ok to be seen with at 11 stone! How dare she say that? A true friend would not care if you weighed 50 stone or 11 stone, they would not be embarrassed to be seen with you. You've done great on your diet so far with a loss of nearly 2 stone. She should be delighted for you and encouraging you on. Whatever happens keep on with your diet and do it for you.
     
  14. Mrs Pink

    Mrs Pink Banned

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    I once had a "friend" who asked me to be her bridesmaid then changed her mind and said I couldn't as I was fat and would spoil the photos .....
    I agree with the others who advise - ditch this nasty shallow cow! With friends like that who needs enemies?
     
  15. Rayven

    Rayven Addicted to Minimins!

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    I have to agree with everyone else and say she's jealous. Maybe she saw you as her safety blanket - because you were her 'fat friend' she'd always look good, but she's now realising that you're losing the weight she's getting worried!
     
  16. Elie

    Elie Silver Member

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    I really don't get people like that. :confused: Call me naive, but I am always happy for people when their lives take a better turn!:D These kinds of people must be really unhappy inside if the only thing they think about is making people feel bad so that they can feel better.:mad:

    But on here, you can get all the support you want :D
     
  17. annie_d

    annie_d Silver Member

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    Sometimes i think that although we can get support from others really it is important not to pay too much credence to WHATEVER they say because ulimately we are on this journey on our own.
     
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  19. Starlight

    Starlight Gold Member

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    I think you should stick with the diet and dump the 'friend' Shes absolutely no friend with an attitude like that. Dont let her put you off what youre doing.... A true friend should be supportive, encouraging and happy for you - shes none of these things.
     
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