Zen teachings

Discussion in 'Slimming World Off Topic' started by suepat10, 21 January 2010 Social URL.

  1. suepat10

    suepat10 I am one of the 63336

    Posts:
    2,889
    Likes Received:
    88
    Start Weight:
    20st3lb
    Current Weight:
    20st3lb
    Goal Weight:
    12st7lb
    Lost(%):
    0st0lb(0%)
    Diet:
    Slimming World
    Zen Teachings

    1. Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me for the path is narrow.. In fact, just piss off and leave me alone.

    2. Love is like air. It's not that important unless you aren't getting any.

    3. No one is listening until you fart.

    4. Always remember you're unique. Just like everyone else.

    5.. Never test the depth of the water with both feet.

    6. If you think nobody cares whether you're alive or dead, try missing a couple of mortgage payments.

    7. Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.

    8. If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.

    9. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.

    10. If you lend someone £20 and never see that person again, it was probably well worth it..

    11. If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.

    12. Some days you are the bug; some days you are the wind screen.

    13. Don't worry; it only seems kinky the first and maybe the second time if you like it just do it.

    14.. Good judgment comes from bad experience ... and most of that comes from bad judgment.

    15. A closed mouth gathers no foot.

    16. There are two excellent theories for arguing with women. Neither one works.

    17. Generally speaking, you aren't learning much when your lips are moving.

    18. Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.

    19. We are born naked, wet and hungry, and get slapped on our arse ... then things just keep getting worse.

    20.. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.
     
  2. Avatar

    MiniMins.com Matched Content

  3. julie19

    julie19 Silver Member

    Posts:
    1,152
    Likes Received:
    38
    Goal Weight:
    10st0lb
    Diet:
    Slimmingworld
    Thank you - that gave me a laugh!
     
  4. judimac

    judimac Mad old Bat with Attitude

    Posts:
    5,247
    Likes Received:
    182
    Start Weight:
    14st5lb
    Diet:
    WW
    :8855::8855::8855:
     
  5. charlottegrace1

    charlottegrace1 Gold Member

    Posts:
    2,484
    Likes Received:
    92
    Goal Weight:
    10st10lb
    Diet:
    SW
    Thanks for the laugh, I needed it today. xx
     
  6. Donnie46

    Donnie46 Slow but sure....

    Posts:
    8,369
    Likes Received:
    156
    Start Weight:
    22st0lb
    Current Weight:
    19st7lb
    Goal Weight:
    10st0lb
    Lost(%):
    2st7lb(11.36%)
    Diet:
    Slimming World - Green Days only.
    Wonderful, LOL......thank you.
     
  7. Morgawr

    Morgawr Silver Member

    Posts:
    858
    Likes Received:
    18
    Goal Weight:
    10st7lb
    Diet:
    SW Group
    They're great - thank you
     
  8. evanesco

    evanesco I'm the tortoise.

    Posts:
    806
    Likes Received:
    24
    Start Weight:
    10st1lb
    Current Weight:
    9st7.5lb
    Goal Weight:
    8st8lb
    Lost(%):
    0st7.5lb(5.32%)
    Diet:
    Weight Watchers ProPoints
    *chuckles* thank you very much >.<
     
  9. Littleslimmingbee

    Littleslimmingbee Gold Member

    Posts:
    6,269
    Likes Received:
    205
    Start Weight:
    14st13lb
    Current Weight:
    14st13lb
    Goal Weight:
    10st0lb
    Lost(%):
    0st0lb(0%)
    Diet:
    SW
    That is hilarious! LOL x
     
  10. Julianne_julz

    Julianne_julz Bears dont dig on dancin'

    Posts:
    1,136
    Likes Received:
    30
    Ah yay thanks I think you actually just cheered me up a little :eek: xx
     
Popular Forums
  1. MiniMins.com is a weight loss support community helping each other on their weight loss journey. We have a multitude of forums, from Slimming World and Exante, to Success Stories. Click the logo at the top right to return to the forum home page at any time.
Loading...