New Year New Start New Me

today i am 13 stone 3lb
i feel like a lump of blubber
i lost weight (maybe 3 stone) about 3/4 years ago
and i felt fabulous - i felt like i had conquered the world
The thing is i'm not 100% certain how i did it
I mean i was constantly trying to lose it
different diets...attempts at exercise....
i sort of did the Lipotrim and was even hypnotised
but i think in the end i was miserable due to a work issue
and i couldnt physically eat..... a sort of extreme situation that worked to my benefit
i changed jobs and started to eat normally again - i still remained at a reasonable weight
under the 11 stone for a while...and then it was 11 and a half....12... 12 and a half
and now i have exceed the 13 stone mark and am back hating myself as much as i ever did!

anyway - i have been trying over the last few months (ha! year or more) bit by bit
to get something to work - i sort tried lipotrim and celebrity slim and slimming world and ww
i applaud all these methods and those that stick to them as they have worked
but i know me too... and i know my problttem is food.... if i start eating at all i eat all teh wrong things
and gve up too quickly and just cant see anything working and so i eat to block out the disappointment in myself
and yes this is emotional eating and there are so many reasons as to the why

but if i could just kickstart the weightloss process..... i might feel like i was in charge
and so i have started a ketogenic style approach... i bought my ketosticks today
as i believe this is actually what happened last time
i hope if i monitor my situation and take charge monitoring what I am eating and cutting down carbs
that i will get to where i want to be
I also joined weightwatchers - as i think the support of the groups will help even if i cant
keep myself to their rules just yet.... i started yesterday with a fast and coffee and water
today i had a poached egg and a turkey rasher and some coffee
I'm not hungry and i am hopeful that i can be the person i know i am inside....

oh but i am weak..... it is definitely an emotional eating problem i have...
NY eve last nite and i had to spend it along
all my friends are either married or have babies and partners to spend it with
and i had noone to go out with or even invite over
so i spent another nyeve alone
and i was sooooo tempted to order a chinese or chip take away
just to fill me up... but i didnt which is a mini step forward... as in i saw what i was about to do
and i said no... i feel it a mini success so go me...
however i did have dry ww bread (yes without a thing on it)
and some biscuits i didnt even really like
so although i didnt have a takeaway i did succumb to eating carbs (and bad carbs at that)
however i weighed myself this morning and i am 13 stone 2
which is a lb lighter so my journey has begun
i am going to continue monitoring my progress and i am going to get to where i want to be
x

Good luck and happy new year..you can do it! Spalmon x

Thanxs spalmon.... I appreciate the encouragement

Well yesterday I had 2 turkey rashers poached egg on 2 sl of ww whole meal bread
I also drank some coffeee and water - not as much as the day before admittedly
I'm still not specifically hungry - sad bored and hurt but not hungry
Was very upset yesterday as saw an old flame pic with new flame - he's not good for me anyway so I am going to forget him this yr - new yr resolution that I intend to keep!!
Was also upset when chatting with my cousin on the phone as I feel like I am gettig nowhere in my life - friends men family - nothing is workin or me I am very alone
I wrote my wish for a soulmate and said it out loud and burnt it to send it out to god and the universe in the hope that I will find what I am looking for....
Weighed myself this am and am still at 13st2 but am very determined to get into 12 by the weekend - this diary keeping is helping me to keep going.....

Wow you eat so little! I'd be chewing carpet if I ate so much haha!

Try not to weigh so often - there are so many little fluctuations in body weight over a day or two that you won't be doing yourself justice (stuff like water retention, bowel movements, whats in your stomach, period stuff etc) set a date each week and stick to it - you won't be disappointed!

Do you think you could be depressed? I had it years ago and found myself in a very aggresive emotional eating situation where I'd stuff myself then feel even worse...and the only thing to make me feel better was to eat, even though it didn't help at all...Keep asking the universe, and it will (eventually) respond. A lot of your problems could be because you feel so worthless - and are projecting it on to other people before they have had a chance to get to know you. I know its hard, but keep your head up - find something positive in life, and focus on that. Write a list of the stuff not so great, and write down ways you could improve it - where can you meet new people, how can you improve your confidence, look for new jobs etc.

Keep posting on here, its helped me so much to vent issues!! And everyone here is somehow in, or just out, of the same boat - we've all been there, and you'd be surprised how many have written the same feelings as you...horrible what we think and do to ourselfs isn't it?

Keep ya head up chick, you will get there! You've done it before, so you can do it again - you just need to find out how it worked last time, but make sure that it is sustainable in the long term

thanx mandlegrot i have given up on the support before but i am going to do my best to stay with it good or bad this time
i did go to the doctor about feeling so down and she said i could be depressed and prescribed me tablets which i didnt take...

maybe now iso a good time to start...

anyway i was away visiting yesterday - we went to the pictures but i stook to my decision no sweets or fizzy drink
i did eat some dinner butit was ww friendly
this morning i had an egg and this evening an egg sandwich on ww bread
water and coffee as before

I also started on my shakermachine - or as i icall it a wibbly wobbly wonder machine
next week i will be back at school and giving my zumbatomic classes
and a friend has said we will start running (not just to lose weight but i need it to get out of my head)
I will also be back at tennis soon when the evenings lengthen a little

I am feeling positive and i want to do this so badly
I didnt weigh today as i was away but post how i go tomorrow
(yes it is obsessive weighing but if i see movement down i feel it as encouragement
and if its up i try to look as that for reason tto improve - i only weigh in morning btw)

Happy new year .and good luck

hiya, good luck!

lets do this thing.:character00115:

Thanx guys! Another day nearly done tho I did have 3 WW bar - yep 3 of them!!! Sigh - well woulda been worse if it had been a proper bat of. Go plate or 4 - at least there only 2pts in them bars! The scale will tell the tale tomorrow!

Hope the weigh in goes well today ...and have a good day !

I'm still fighting good fight.....sadly my scales are out of batteries so I wasnt able weigh myself
So hopefully will do that and see a reduction in numbers tomorrow!

I'm still eating my egg on WW toast in the morning, a coffee or two and water with the odd WW soup (or bar if the need hits me for chocolate)

I'm nearly a week in and I do feel like I have made progress - even in being able to control my choices and not just eating mindlessly

I am still shaking on the wibbly wobbly wonder machine and though my classes don't start Til Monday week I know once they do that will help too.. I haven't taken off on the walks yet but maybe a small one today pg!

Hope everyone who had weighins got on well and that the end of the week put a smile on ur face as we need to be proud of ourselves for making changes

Hope you managed to get your batteries ready for weigh in tomorrow and keep up the great work !

No batteries bought - In fact I am still in my pyjamas!! I am killed with cramps today and the outside world does not appeal I have taken down 90% of my Xmas decorations though (just the huge tree in the other room to do tomorrow) and I have cleaned the house so feel good to get that outta the way for the week! Back to school on Monday will be a bit of a shock to the system but I intend to be super organized with breakfast and lunch tho (will do school shop 2m) as for now I am tempted to get takeaway chips or sthg (comfort food when I feel sore) but I hope to say strong .... There's WW soup in the cupboard if I am hungry I guess ...

Keep the faith! There's nowt better than cream of tomato soup and broccoli for the deadly cramps. X

Thanx feetface.... I had some WW tomato soup and was so tempted to order a dominos pizza....
But I resisted .... And even after that I so wanted Something.... Anything.... NICE!!!! I normally have lollipops somewhere to kill the craving... But there was none left.., and no WW bars....not a biscuit or a bit of chocolate .... I searched the presses..... I did find some WW sour cream and chive tayto.... And I thought yipppeeee except I know now why they hadn't been ate - eugh not nice :/ and so here I am ... Really wishing I had some lollipops to kill this craving (sigh)

Just went for short walk with my dog - just a 15 min peepee stroll -in my Jammie's lol!! But every little helps and made sure she came back in (she's a divil for not wanting to come in at nite if she goes out on her own!) gonna go on my shaker now for 20 mins b4 bed!!

that's one of my issues too- its all hunky-dorey while i'm organised and then bang!!... impromptu craving for rubbish and all that's in the cupboard is stock cubes and rice. typical.

distraction can help- have a bath? paint your nails? good luck :bighug:

Great ideas there feetface I will try n remember them next time - I've had a good enough day - when I finally managed to get up - I sleep soundly for at least 9/10 hours - is this normal for anyone else?! Anyway got dressed today - and felt good jeans seemed not as tight and shirt was snug but closed! I did a weekly shop - this is not sthg I think I ever consciously done before but money is a lot tighter and I am tryi g to be mindful of how I am spending what I have - do I made a list which really helped me from throwing in random Ooo I like that items and 90% of it is ww brand that way the options are healthier at all times!! I also got my batteries - so will weigh 2m morning - I feel the pressure more tbh as when I weigh daily i am hopeful to lose a lb or at least stay the same - not having weighed since last wed well the pressure is in - what if all this hard work comes to nought?!? But I found a pic which I have made my iPhone screen saver that says it takes 4 week for u urself to notice a change 8 weeks for ur friends to notice and 12 for the rest of the world so week one done and I am not giving up... Today I had a boiled egg for breakfast... Turkey rasher n beans a wee while ago and I did have a WW bar and 2 Ww biscuits when I came back from the shops - drinking away at the water and have been on my shaker twice - I'll go for my short walk Ina bit and try to just have a coffee btwn here n bed....and maybe a lollipop ... Talking of which does anyone know what a chubba chub lollipop points as in WW?!

Yes! Weighed in just now - 13st0.5lb!!
Happy camper
Now to hit my first goal - get back into the 12's
(so tired this morning - need to get move on and
Have brekkie b4 work - prob won't manage shaker this am as didn't get up at 7.... Managed 7:45 tho lol)

Ooooh well done! Excellent loss!