No More Binge Eating....Healthy Stuff Only!!

[Cymraes79]

Tonight was my last ever binge eating session, tomorrow is a bright new healthy day for me and I am not going to look back at my past failed attempts.

If anyone asked me why I binge eat, I honestly couldn't give them an answer. When the urge hits all I want to do is eat, eat, eat, eat until I feel sick and then the guilt and disappointment follows soon after!! I'm not even hungry when I seem to be stuffing my face with junk - it's like my brain switches off while I shovel food in my mouth. I don't know why I do it, what triggers it but all I know is that today it stops and I need to fight those urges because I can't go on like this.

I just want to be happy on the inside and outside, at the moment I'm neither. I loathe my appearance and I hate the fact that my clothes are getting tighter every day - my wardrobe is full of clothes I can't get into.

There's so many different diets out there with conflicting messages....points, syns, low carb, 5:2, meal replacements etc etc. I just want to eat healthy food, exercise daily and hopefully lose all this weight and feel better about myself. Easier said than done because I get to a certain point and the binges start and put me off track - it's a vicious cycle and I need to get out of it. I hope with the help of this diary I can stay focused, write down all my food and exercise, and my feelings when the urge to binge hits to try and avoid it.

I am going to do this, I am going to succeed and wear those skinny jeans in the wardrobe which still have the tags on from two years ago!! I know if I lose weight I will be much happier and my confidence might return but it's not going to be an easy journey x

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[Cymraes79]

Good Morning World

Well.....this is it the first day of my healthy eating journey and an adventure to a slimmer me. Going to be strong today and fight those urges for binges!! I really should weigh myself to set a marker but I know if I step on the scales I'll get depressed and it'll trigger me to pig out for the rest of the day. Going to judge this with my clothes, once I'm in those skinny jeans I know I'm doing good.

Starting the day with 35g porridge made with water and topped with mixed berries; one large coffee with a dash of milk. I usually have chopped banana with my porridge but tried the berries for a change today - back to banana tomorrow and just alternate days.

Lunch will be a wholemeal pitta stuffed with salad leaves, cucumber and ham (no dressing) and a fat free yoghurt.

Dinner will be 2 x quorn sausages, mashed sweet potato, mixed vegetables and a small amount of gravy.

Going to be drinking plenty of coffee and water throughout the day and when I get home from work tonight 45 mins on the treadmill is planned followed by 1 set of the 7minute workout app!!

So there it is my plan of action for the day all written down so no going back now - I have to do this.

Right, time to get ready for work and face another day, feeling so tired and run down at the moment I just want to curl up and go back to sleep. I hate my life and I am so unhappy as I have nothing in my life - need to focus on my goal to get out of this rut.

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[Cymraes79]

Today has been a triumph so far, stuck to my plan. This evening is going to be a test as I know there is a pack if unopened biscuits in the cupboard and they seem to be calling my name. I know if I have one it will lead to two and then a few more and before I even know it the whole pack will be gone and I'll be searching for more food and I'll be back to square one with the self loathing and guilt. I wish I had a normal relationship with food instead of this love hate relationship......I love food but I hate the way it makes me feel at times. Why can't I eat like a normal person ? Why can't I stop when I'm full ? Why do I always want more ? Hopefully by coming on here and writing all my thoughts down I might figure out the answers!!

It's going to take a lot of hard work and effort to get where I want to be and I'm sure there will be a few relapses along the way but that feeling of being slim definitely outweighs a bar of chocolate or anything else calorific. This has been a lifelong battle and I just want to win this time and feel good and confident about my self.

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[24to14]

Here to subscribe hun.

I could be your twin. Everything you've said rings true. I'm sick of being unhappy in my own skin. Time to turn it around.

Louisa

 

[Cymraes79]

It's been a bad few days and I've learnt that old habits don't disappear overnight. Had a horrible week at work, my work colleagues think it's fun to treat me like s**t so that they can have a laugh at my expense :-(

I sought comfort with my best friend and worse enemy.....food and lots of it. I'm so disappointed in myself but I already knew that this wasn't going to be an easy journey, so I'm over it now and going to concentrate on the healthy eating one day at a time.

I'm going to a 'Rave Fit' on Tuesday night and I'm really looking forward but a bit worried that all my wobbly bits will be wobbling all over the place!! It's a high intensity workout with some classic 90s dance anthems and only costs £3 per session. Hopefully if I enjoy it I'm going to go twice a week and it'll be the motivation I need to stay on track and the perfect stress relief after a bad day in the office. I'll then walk/jog on my treadmill 3x a week. Summer body I'm coming to get you!!

Looking forward to my tea tonight, home made red onion and red cabbage 'slaw', savoury rice and chicken topped with tomato purée, mushrooms and a melted mini baby bell. Healthy eating can be tasty

I admit defeat last week but it's definitely not going to get the better of me, I'm in this for the long haul until I find my happiness. I will get stronger, leaner, fitter, healthier and happy x

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[Cymraes79]

Feeling positive this morning so after a very strong coffee I'm going to head out for a long walk to clear my head and get focused on the week ahead.

Today's Menu is.......

B - Apple, Pear, Weetabix (banana flavour yum) skimmed milk, 2x strong coffee

L - left over savoury rice, left over 'slaw', hard boiled egg, 1 pint of squash

D - 2x quorn sausages, mushrooms, gravy, baked sweet potato, carrots, broccoli, 1 pint of squash

Need a good week next week - No more setbacks!! Going to focus on eating the nutrients that my body needs and not the junk it craves.

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[Cymraes79]

Today is a good day I am feeling positive and confident and I know I can achieve my goals. Planning my meals a few days in advance certainly helps and keeps me on the straight and narrow. I just have to be strong and resist all the naughty treats around me!

Today's meal plan is........

B - Porridge made up with water and topped with sliced banana and fat free yoghurt

L - Salad ( spinach leaves, rocket leaves, cucumber, cherry tomatoes, red onion, black olives, boiled egg and tuna - mega yummy) 10 cal jelly pot for pudding

D - chicken fillet topped with tomato purée, red onion, mushrooms, mini baby bell; asparagus, spinach and sweet potato.

Second day without any diet fizzy drinks - my aim is to do a week without the stuff!! Just drinking water, squash, tea and coffee all week

Re-starting the couch to 5k app on the treadmill tonight. Going back to basics with everything and setting myself some new goals, I've drawn a line under all the past failed attempts and it's now time to start fresh and concentrate on a healthy lifestyle and build up my running again.

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[Cymraes79]

The feeling of positivity continues

Not tempted by any bad food at the moment and I'm just feeding my body with nutritional food and I'm feeling great. It's still early days and I'm sure the old urge to eat everything in sight will re-appear at some point but for now I'm good.

Off to a fitness class tonight that promises a high intensity work out. I'm looking forward but I'm nervous at the same time as I'm going on my own and I don't know anyone there!!!! I have to do this I have to prove myself I can do it I have find my confidence.

My meals for today are as follows;

B - porridge made up with water topped with banana and fat free yoghurt

L - wholemeal pitta filled with ham, cucumber, spinach, rocket; fat free yoghurt and fruit

D - home made quorn chilli, brown rice and a side salad

Drinks:- coffee, water, squash, peppermint tea

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[maddyshambles]

Sounds like me reading this! Good luck with everything