If this post has appeared elsewhere, apologies. I seem to have lost it so here it is again..
This post is for anyone about to to into Development, already in Development, about to go into Route to Management, past Management, any weightholders...in fact, it's for anyone who has gone past week 3 of Foundation. And as some CDCs pop in, from time to time, your input would be invaluable.
I've posted a longer version of this thread on my blog www.thelardarms.typepad.com, if you are interested to see the whole thing.
I've been writing up my Development 'opus' in the past few days (A Beginner's Guide To LighterLife Development - similar to the Beginner's Guide I posted here) and I've been thinking about goals (or rather the lack of them) during this part of the programme. There's also a Development thread (brilliantly started by Tiger Girl) that some of us (Cerulean, Sandra et al) have been contributing too as we hit the Development Doldrums:
http://www.minimins.com/lighter-life-forum/19450-highs-lows-development.html
I have realised what a fundamental goal should be - the ability to access the adult state - quickly, easily and painlessly! I had this lightbulb moment on Thursday night but then things got a bit messy...
This is what the LighterLife Green Book (Foundation bible!) says:
"Adult Style is based on here-and-now reality. When you use your Adult you are making your own choice of how to be, not responding to outdated messages from the past. Choice is the most useful word to hold in your head: you have a choice to look after yourself and your weight and you have a choice not to listen to your unhelpful chatterbox. Adult thinking says, 'I can weigh up the pros and cons and make a decision on today's reality and circumstances."
My LLC recommends another technique: to ask ourselves "is this a kind and loving thing I can do for myself?". But sometimes even that is not enough to stop a binge.
Anyway, I digress, if we are to make it to Route to Management (LighterLife - stage 3 - when food is re-introduced) ready, willing and able, adult 'literacy' must be a goal. And even if you are not following LighterLife but you have issues with food, chances are you probably have struggled to access your adult state on a regular basis or at least at those moments when a very unhealthy food choice seems like a very good decision (thanks to crooked thinking and all that).
One fundamental thing that I know, for sure, is that the adult state is NEVER going to be easy to access if any of the following factors are involved (our old friend, HALT) - if you are Hungry, Angry, Lonely or Tired - chances are, your adult will be somewhere else, just when you need them.
So, my question, fellow fat fighters, is this - what does YOUR adult state feel like and do you think you could describe it to others? Have you got examples that you could share? We need to nail this, for all our sakes, don't you agree?
Happy thinking!
Have a lovely Sunday everyone.
Mrs Lxxxxxxxxx
This post is for anyone about to to into Development, already in Development, about to go into Route to Management, past Management, any weightholders...in fact, it's for anyone who has gone past week 3 of Foundation. And as some CDCs pop in, from time to time, your input would be invaluable.
I've posted a longer version of this thread on my blog www.thelardarms.typepad.com, if you are interested to see the whole thing.
I've been writing up my Development 'opus' in the past few days (A Beginner's Guide To LighterLife Development - similar to the Beginner's Guide I posted here) and I've been thinking about goals (or rather the lack of them) during this part of the programme. There's also a Development thread (brilliantly started by Tiger Girl) that some of us (Cerulean, Sandra et al) have been contributing too as we hit the Development Doldrums:
http://www.minimins.com/lighter-life-forum/19450-highs-lows-development.html
I have realised what a fundamental goal should be - the ability to access the adult state - quickly, easily and painlessly! I had this lightbulb moment on Thursday night but then things got a bit messy...
This is what the LighterLife Green Book (Foundation bible!) says:
"Adult Style is based on here-and-now reality. When you use your Adult you are making your own choice of how to be, not responding to outdated messages from the past. Choice is the most useful word to hold in your head: you have a choice to look after yourself and your weight and you have a choice not to listen to your unhelpful chatterbox. Adult thinking says, 'I can weigh up the pros and cons and make a decision on today's reality and circumstances."
My LLC recommends another technique: to ask ourselves "is this a kind and loving thing I can do for myself?". But sometimes even that is not enough to stop a binge.
Anyway, I digress, if we are to make it to Route to Management (LighterLife - stage 3 - when food is re-introduced) ready, willing and able, adult 'literacy' must be a goal. And even if you are not following LighterLife but you have issues with food, chances are you probably have struggled to access your adult state on a regular basis or at least at those moments when a very unhealthy food choice seems like a very good decision (thanks to crooked thinking and all that).
One fundamental thing that I know, for sure, is that the adult state is NEVER going to be easy to access if any of the following factors are involved (our old friend, HALT) - if you are Hungry, Angry, Lonely or Tired - chances are, your adult will be somewhere else, just when you need them.
So, my question, fellow fat fighters, is this - what does YOUR adult state feel like and do you think you could describe it to others? Have you got examples that you could share? We need to nail this, for all our sakes, don't you agree?
Happy thinking!
Have a lovely Sunday everyone.
Mrs Lxxxxxxxxx