Thread: Self Awareness vs Self Acceptance

Originally Posted by helloworld!

I have recently realised that I am addicted to food. I too use it to stuff things down, and to give myself a feeling of satisfaction that perhaps I don't get in other ways. I haven't quite worked out for myself what I need to do to stop the cycle, but i am happy to have this enlightening moment. At least the light is on now! But I am also happy that i have realised that other people do this too. So this doesn't make me a bad person, or a lesser person than anyone else.

I agree, that's why I have started to read Gillian Riley's book in the hope that it will help me..

Oh, how often have I eaten for eating's sake! How often have I criticised myself for doing so. Now at last, I am getting help and really what I'm reading is plain & pure common sense.

Dear all, I have been really inspired by the first post. I, like so many used to focus on my goal weight and how everything would be so much different when I got there. However, after having a very difficult personal year in which I lost my Father suddenly I started CBT therapy. It helped me not to change my past but how I could deal with issues in my present, how I dealt with situations etc. I used to eat emotionally but now I have no need for it. You really can learn to love yourself and your life will be better for it. Look after yourself first and foremost and everything else will follow. For me, weight loss is something that will happen, I have an idea of where I want to go and I know I will get there. However for me it is more about being healthy, for when I look after my mind, my body will follow. I truly believe the same can be true for everyone else. We're all fabulous and beautiful and we're making a change to our lives just by being on this forum. We're doing it and we can achieve anything!! For more info on the CBT, I used C.Sweet's 'CBT can change your life'. Sounds corny but it worked for me.
Love and best wishes to all!

Beth xx

For me my compulsive eatingg was a way to express my low self esteem. I had hypnotherapy for the root causes before my eating problems were tackled.

Now it is much easier to gain relaxed control over my food as when I feel the desire to overeat I know it is a habit with no function, and so much easier to dismantle.

I feel so much happier now. Still have times when I feel pants, but they are mixed with feeling good about myself also.

great post! I'm working on accepting myself but it's so hard!

Diva makes absolute sense!! the reason Im fat is because I dont like myself, losing weight alone wont help me like myself. So, this time Im working on both my mind and weight. Its hard because habits of overeating are ingrained but at least im looking at things more holistically this time. Thanks Diva x

I think self-awareness is knowing your good points and bad points. That is step no 1 and I can safely tick that off.

I do think self-acceptance is a one day at a time thing though. It is ongoing, I don't think there is a "final" destination. It's interesting I say that because I've always been the type of person to say "what will I do next?" instead of enjoy the moment..is this tied into it I wonder? And I can get pretty restless with life for no apparent reason too.

I do think that self-acceptance means being good to yourself even when you're at your worst. Even when you've gained weight, still saying to yourself "it's okay, I can get this off and I will get it off and keep it off and I will treat myself much better in future".
It's showing ourselves some compassion..it's easy to be kind to yourself when everything is going great but when things go wrong for whatever reason, that is when the self-blame can set in. And what is the point of blaming ourselves or others? It is what it is. You can either fix it or not. Don't get me wrong, I'm not totally Zen or anything but I would like to be

I think there is societal pressure on people to "have it all"-it's something I discussed in another post but it's related to this topic too. People think "oh they're so sorted compared with me" when the truth is, everyone has a problem of some kind so people really aren't all that different deep down, once you scratch away the surface/trappings like wealth, social position etc.

The media wants women to be "other than" what we are. Women have to be 6 foot-never mind that you're 5'2 and will never grow! Just buy some heels! The fashion industry promotes a homogenous look despite the fact that women come in all different shapes and figures. It seems like everywhere you look, you see homogeny-even in the high street, all the clothes shops sell the same type of clothes, promote the same trends etc. Individuality isn't a very sellable concept.

It's the same with men too..men have to all have 6 packs, despite the fact that some women, like me, actually don't even like 6packs! I prefer lean and toned look anyday That's how advertising works-preying on people's insecurities and making them think there is "something wrong with them" when they're completely normal for their demographic range.

Women's magazines make their money of telling women about the latest diet and all the information is totally contradictory. One week its about "the fibre diet" where you can eat more fibre. The next week, its Dukan where you cut carbs.. etc. I mean, which is it??

I do like self-help books but sometimes I do think that marketing departments are just jumping on the bandwagon and exploiting people's misery. I also feel that bad news will sell better than good news.

I read a summary of "The Beauty Myth" by Naomi Wolf which basically went along the lines of "women are being oppressed by the beauty industry because men still are the financial breadwinners". Basically in cultures where men have the most money, more emphasis is placed on women's appearance. In cultures where *women* have the most money, more emphasis is placed on men's appearance and the men doll themselves up for the women..I never thought of things like that before but it gave me another interesting view to consider.

Also, there is a "dog eat dog" culture in the world really so even when you are doing well, not that many people are going to compliment you..people will be jealous of your success etc. This is another factor to take into consideration.

Parenting can be an issue too.

I think people can think they are "broken" when in fact, they are anything but broken. Maybe they've been mistreating themselves because they didn't think they were worth anything. But they can stop this bad habit right now. That's all that is..a bad habit that can be unlearned right now. Because we are worth it. I know that's from the L'oreal ad but it wouldn't be such a famous slogan if it wasn't true!! We are all worth it. And when we know we're worth it, we eat well, we exercise, we treat ourselves well, we spoil ourselves and know that we deserve our weight loss and success.

But having said all that, you have to believe yourself even when no one else does. This is the key to self-acceptance. This means believing in yourself *all* the time-if things are going bad, you know you can turn it around. you believe that you can do it.

Oh and we don't need to wait until we've lost weight to accept ourselves and treat ourselves well!! x

Its true what you say.. I was feeling a little low last couple of weeks and I naturally sourced excessive, fatty foods. I suppose a way of not numbing the pain but bringing in a joy of eating fries, hot chickens wings.. I love junk food, however I hate feeling of feeling fat more. So I have the power to change that and I will. I love slimming world as I can always find a healthy alternative for hot chicken wings and fries. So goodbye KFC ... my slimming world chicken wings and fries are so much kinder and better for me

very good thread, I don't think I'll be fully happy until I reach my goal weight but knowing that I'm losing weight the healthy way is enough to keep me happy and sane for now! x

Love the first post. It really speaks to me!