As some of you will know from reading my dairy, I'm 1lb away from goal. Bearing in mind that I had a meal out last night, I'm sure some of the 1lb will be sodium weight and I'm pretty much now at goal It won't be official until those scales show 8 stone, so until then it's made me sit back, in my garden, glass of ice cool orange juice in hand a reflect on my weight loss.
As there are so many people on Minis just starting out I thought I would share my thoughts in the hope that it may help someone else. This most may sound a little self-indulgent, so I apologise in advance!
A lot of people on this site tell their stories that they were once slim, then they settled down, got married, had children and a combination of those meant that they slowly, but surly, became overweight. My story is a little different - I've been overweight my whole life. Well that's not strictly true, I was a healthy weight up until I was about 6, then I started getting a little chubby. I'm an only child so I think that where other people would get their meals and snacks split with siblings, I would just get the whole lot, like I would be allowed to eat a whole bottle of orange juice on the way home from school instead of being told to 'share that with your sister' like my best friend had to. My parents are also very fond of restaurants and we'd dine out on rich foods maybe 3-4 times a week for 3 course dinners, sometimes even more. I never ate unhealthily (I've never had a microwave meal in my life) just too much. I've always been a very happy person, lots of great friends and a loving family but I would get quite upset at my weight, but at that time little 14 year old me had no concept of calories, energy or portions so I continued to eat the only way I knew how and I continued gaining weight.
It all changed however, on 1st December 2010 at 18:18 (yes! I remember the exact time) I stood on the scales and I was just under 13 stone - the last time I checked I'd been 12 stones. Being only 5'2 this made me well in the obese range at only 18 years of age and that, for me, was heartbreaking. For the first time in my life I went into a complete emotional meltdown. I couldn't understand how something that made me so secretly sad was something I couldn't change about myself. Why was I doing this to myself? Why couldn't I get the strength together to change it? I stepped on the scales again and seen the needle pointing just under the 13 mark and a steely determination came over me: I was going to do this. Little did I know then that this would be the start of 7 months that would change my life drastically. I was high on both hope and excitement because I was determined that I was going to do this. As they say "Eyes down on the prize and don’t stop until you get there”
The first few months had their challenging moments but after a while it felt just like a way of life. I counted every calorie I ate and made sure I stuck to my daily limit. 3 course dinners where limited to once a week. I joined the gym. I ate healthily. Of course there was moments of sheer temptation, but the joy of seeing the dial on the scales going down was better than any 7 seconds of gluttony scoffing down a muffin could offer. As I seen my body change with the weight loss, it was like I'd almost been given a new body. I started getting a waist, collar bones and then hip bones! It was sometimes difficult to accept the new me - I'd never ever been slim and suddenly the body I was living in had taken on a whole new form. I needed to get to know her, find out what clothes suit her, what hairstyles suit her shape.This morning, I looked at my reflection in the bathroom and I started crying, not tears of sadness about how large I was, but tears of joy. I still don't really know this person in the mirror yet, but all I can say is that I'm god damn proud of her.
For anyone starting out or on their journey there is nothing and I mean nothing that betters the feeling of achieving a long held dream, hang in there as I promise you it will be worth it. It may sound shallow and superficial but walking into a normal High Street chain store and picking up a size 8 to discover it fits rather than a size 18 in Evans or the plus sections gives you a rush that no chocolate bar ever could. No it doesn’t solve all of life’s problems but somehow they all seem a little more manageable! I used to spend time reading success stories in the papers and magazines as well as seeing others around me lose weight and I would wish that was me. If you are reading this now and wishing, please please please don’t wish, make it happen, live the dream. Don't settle for "I'll just be overweight" - go for your dream weight, strive for that body you always wished you had. I am no-one special, just your average fat girl that had had enough. Losing this weight has been the hardest thing I've ever had to do, the fat in your body is going to put up a fight, but you can be strong enough to fight it back. This can be your reality too, follow your plan, stay strong and in the blink of an eye you will be your own inspiration.
I am now starting to move into maintenance, am I fearful, hell yes, but you know what, I was fearful when I began calorie counting and look where I am now. I can do this if I allow myself to and I here and now give myself permission to succeed!
And as a final less informal note, I'd just like to say to those 67 pounds that I lost and on reflection, lowered my confidence and made me so sad at times: KISS MY SKINNY ASS!
All my friends on Minis are an essential part of the journey and all play a part in my success, thank you, I love you all.