Total Solution Mirror hater seeks new look!

Hi everyone, I'm on Day 4 of TS and I'm hoping that writing a diary will keep me on track. So a bit about me... This time last year I ran a half marathon in under 2 hours, weighed 9 stone and wore size 8 - 10 clothes, I'd worked hard for it. Training for months and losing 3 and a half stone over a year with ww. I felt pretty on top of the world. I started seeing this guy who I was crazy about, and for a while life was pretty perfect and then it all went wrong and for some ridiculous reason I did what I've done my whole life, I turned to food. Now here I am, 12 stone 9 (although I had a sneaky look at the scale this morning and was down to 12st 1.4!!) and basically hating the way I look. I avoid social situations, I even dread having to see my family, I know everyone must be looking at me thinking I've put on so much weight.

I ordered the Exante bumper pack about 2 weeks ago but put off starting. Finally on Monday I started, confession, I failed miserably. A shake for breakfast, a bar for lunch then I came home ate 3 english muffins with butter and a whole, yes a whole, pack of chocolate digestives. Tuesday I started with renewed determination, I just don't want to keep doing this to myself anymore. I walked the 3.7 miles to work, stuck to it 100%, drank my 3-4 litres of water - shocked? Not as shocked as i was! Even better, 4 days down and I feel good, for the first time in months I feel I'm calling the shots again, and that evil little voice that makes me want to eat anything and everything has shut the hell up!

I have to go to a wedding 3 weeks tomorrow and I really want to get down to a size 14 by then - I'm currently a 16-18, I don't know if its a bit ambitious but I'm going to do my best!

Good luck to everyone, reading this site is really helping me so much:)
 
Hi Amber, great start! As you see the weight come off, you'll keep your motivation. Keep going with the water, it makes a big difference to your losses. Also, take your measurements in case you have any Weeks where your losses on the scales are lower. On those Weeks you'll probably lose inches.
 
Thanks for the advice! Yeah, I've taken my measurements, can't wait to see them drop!
 
So I've got to stop weighing myself every day, I weighed myself this morning and had put on a lb despite sticking to it 100% and drinking my water and doing 2 hours of exercise. Gutted. Of course common sense tells me I'm being stupid but I'm still disappointed :(
 
No, don't be disappointed, it evens out during the week. If you weigh daily you'll just ruin the whole day, feeling like you've failed when you actually couldn't have done it any better.
 
I know you're right. I turned my frustration into a positive and went to the gym. 5Km run, 40 mins on cross trainer and 45 on bike, if I'm not 11 something by tuesday I will be very cross! :)
 
So, I was 12 stone exactly this morning which I feel really pleased about (6 days in = 9 lbs loss) but other than that I feel a bit weird, kind of spacey. I'm not really craving food, more sleep and lots of it. Have just had a chocolate shake (with ice, cold peppermint tea and sweetener which makes it drinkable for me), hoping I'll feel a bit better soon. I have been on holiday since thursday and today is the last day, I feel like I'll be ok with being back at work. Am a bit worried about thursday though, my whole work team is going to our boss's house for lunch, history tells me there'll be a LOT of food and alcohol. No one knows I'm doing this diet and I don't want to say so I'm going to say I'm on antibiotics and can't drink but not sure how easy it'll be to get out of eating. Am hoping it'll be a buffet or bbq so I can just pick at some protein. I really don't want to go at all and have even contemplated pretending to be ill! I'm finding that's the toughest thing about this diet, I'm just avoiding all social situations! I've been on holiday since wednesday and haven't seen anyone in 4 days (apart from people at the gym and no one speaks to each other!). Normally this would drive to food out of boredom or loneliness but I've actually really enjoyed some time to myself and just doing something good for myself. But I know I can't look myself away until I've lost 3 stone although in reality, that's kind of what I'd like to do!
 
Thats a great loss well done! you seem to have your head about knowing what you can eat and not eat, they have some great recipes in the recipes seciton maybe you could have a look at some foods on there and pick them out at the lunch? x
 
The spacey feeling is normal, it won't last too much longer. As for social situations, I deliberately try to avoid them, especially in the first month. That's just how I find it easier. I have used many an excuse to get out of eating, how about tummy upset, already eaten, not hungry and trying to be sensible and only eat when hungry, having a fasting blood test later.....
 
So today has been good, I went to the gym and burnt 600 calls which is basically what I've consumed with 3 packs so fingers crossed I'll be under 12 stone for my official weigh in tomorrow
 
Your doing brilliantly, well done with having energy for the gym in your first week! Good luck with ur journey Xx
 
Am struggling a bit tonight. Not in terms of wanting food, but just feel very anxious. I'm realising that I ate massively for comfort and it sort of numbed everything I was feeling and now there's nothing to numb it I just feel overwhelmed. I know I need to work on a lot of stuff if I'm going to stop this yo-yo dieting cycle permanently.

Plus sides I took my measurements today and as well as the 9 lbs lost Ive lost significant inches and could definitely see a difference in pics. Today was also my first day back at work after a week off and several people commented that I looked like I'd lost weight, not knowing I've been dieting.

Next week I have to go to Paris for 4 days for work which I'm a little stressed about as I know it will be harder to stick to this, work trips generally involve lots of eating out and drinking. I'm going to take my packs and definitely (I say that now!) abstain from alcohol and if I do have to go for dinner stick to protein only.
 
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