Hello to anyone who's reading this! I guess this will kind of just be my place to ramble and let off steam and track my calories. I've done JUDDD a couple times in the past but have problems sticking with it. In fact, I have problems sticking with any diet for long - all too often, I let life get in the way.

I've always been overweight. My highest weight was at the end of my undergraduate degree - I was 222 lbs. I've struggled a lot with stress and depression and seem to turn to food for comfort or distraction during challenging times. I want to break that habit.

Right now, I weigh ~205 lbs. My goal weight is 144 lbs. These past few months have been particularly stressful due to my job. I'm a young professional just starting out which is stressful on its own, but my workplace has also been unbelievably chaotic lately. There's a lot of drama there (that thankfully, I've managed to stay out of) and it's resulted in several valuable employees quitting, leaving us short-staffed and overworked. It's upsetting. I don't sleep well and find myself exhausted by the end of the work week - I usually "reward" myself with food on the weekends. That needs to stop.

I'm having doubts about my career choice, which causes me a lot of anxiety. I'm also trying to pursue a hobby on the weekends that I hope to eventually turn into a supplemental income. I haven't dated a lot in the past but am getting to know someone now who I quite like...I'm definitely feeling some insecurity about my body, though, and am not feeling very attractive. Work usually exhausts me as it is, but there have been a lot of extras lately: 3 parties (that I couldn't get out of) in one week, a work conference, a doctor's appointment and a funeral. I guess what I'm saying is that I have a lot going on right now!

In the past, every time I became busy I'd abandon my weight loss goals and (over)eat and not make time for regular exercise. I can see that beginning to happen again and I want to put a stop to it. I'm hoping that regular exercise will help me deal with the stress. I'm always hesitant about dieting in the wintertime because I usually end up run down and sick and I really, really can't afford to take a single sick day from work - no time! I guess all I can do is listen to my body and if I think I'm getting ill, I may have to postpone a down day or two until I'm better.

I'm curious about how the rest of you cope with getting run down from dieting. I think I'm going to take a multivitamin on my down days. I've also been relying on sleeping pills to keep me from getting too run down during the week. It's not the greatest solution and I worry about becoming dependent on them, but it's a quick fix for the time being.

Anyway, I've rambled on enough for one post. I'm being mindful of how much I eat today, but won't officially start JUDDD until tomorrow. I'm going to try to remember to update this diary regularly to help keep me accountable. I'm really tired of my weight being an issue, so just want to lose the extra pounds for once and for all!