What makes a good group?
I am starting slimming world next week and wanted to ask all you lovely slimming world people what should I look for in a good group? I know that for me, it is going to be incredibly important that I am going to, otherwise I don't know I will not stick to it. I know this because I did SW well over a year ago and stopped because I did not enjoy my group. Because I did not enjoy it I did not want to go. The last group I attended was very large and people there had been going for a long time so where quite close and I felt on the outside because very few people spoke to me - in fact after eight weeks I still didn't really have anyone to sit with or whose name I could even remember. It felt like the first week every week for me and it upset me so I quit. So, what should I look for and tell me why you love your group. I am in manchester, near the trafford centre so would especially love it if anyone on here might happen to go to group around there!
I wouldn't say I love my group but it's ok, after about 7 weeks there are now quite a few people I can talk to/sit with. The first week I thought they all seemed a bit cliquey but there was a woman who had started the week before me and she didn't know anyone either so she talked to me at the end. But even a couple of times when she hasn't come to class I've ended up talking to other people. I know my consultant is about to do a promotion campaign so if that's the same all over there may be quite a few newbies over the next few weeks so you might find someone who is feeling the same way as you did last time and they will be glad to have someone to talk to. Best of luck with it!
Personally, I think you shouldn't be afraid to go up to people, just start chatting and next time at group I'm sure they will find you.
If you sit out the way and act shy, not many people will approach you. Go in with a smile on your face, big shoulders and chat! It makes it much more fun that way. Good luck x
I totally agree! We are all there for the same reason so there's nothing to be shy/nervous about! Although I won't deny, I hate when my turn comes on image therapy as I hate the 'all eyes on me' thing, and my usual loud bubbly self goes into this quiet reserved don't want to speak thing! Yet with everyone else I get involved and offer advice etc!
Originally Posted by Tubby&Chubby
Our group is very friendly and we all have this good bond, yes you can sense the nervous newbies but within a few weeks they're getting involved with the rest of us! Xx
Well, I am not sure that I feel I need to enjoy going to the group. There are usually a dozen things I would rather be doing!
I look on it as something I need to do each week. I don't expect much of it as a social occasion, although I do talk to people and I don't actively dislike it. It wouldn't upset me if I didn't have anyone to talk to - sometimes I do and sometimes I don't.
Perhaps your expectations are too high, which is why you end up being disappointed.
ZenDog, I know what you mean. The group I'm with now are really friendly, but the fact I tend to be quite insular around people I don't know definitely makes me more over analytical of the groups reaction to me. I think it's probably linked to the whole insecurities that weight issues bring, personally at least.
That said, stick with it. There will always be cliques, and people you don't warm to. But chances are there's a bunch of people in the same room who are feeling exactly like you. I've been going to my group for about 7 weeks and am only now starting to warm, the consultant is great, but I get too hung up over the people. Im my own worst enemy, this is group number 7!
Don't over think it. Some people need the group, some don't, but we're all there for the same reason.
I don't think there is an answer to this question, because it will be different for everyone. I used to think like AnnaFaraday - group was somewhere I needed to go and I wasn't really bothered by the social aspect of it. In February I had to change groups due to a change in work schedule, and I absolutely love my group now! They are a really funny, honest bunch of people who don't take themselves too seriously, but at the same time are genuinely interested in and supportive of each other. The consultant is irreverent and a bit of a maverick, and knows exactly what approach to take with each individual member.
However, I know that, much as I love it, this kind of group/consultant would make some people run for the hills!
I used to go to group but I suffer with anxiety so it was a no go for me in the end, I tried to go for as long as I could. I enjoyed the whole weighing in and listening to tips/advice but when it came to socialising with other members I just couldn't do it. I sat there in the corner not saying a word and I felt really uncomfortable, but that was no one else's fault but my own. I do sometimes miss it, but I'm happy doing it from home at the moment :)
I like groups that talk around eating as well as just about recipes etc. I've recently changed groups (childcare issues) and my last one was great on food ideas with a bit about why we eat.
Current group is fun as they don't take themselves too seriously. My consultant talks more about mindfulness and is really encouraging.
I'm in bolton so not far from you.
I really like my group.
We have a mix of ages, weight losses and personalities. There's even a few men to balance out all the hormones!
I've been to a few and it's all about the consultant. That sounds too obvious now I've written it down but the best group I had was led my someone who took a really genuine interest in everyone. She mixed up the image therapy. Because she was interested she took the time to get to know people so knew how to get them engaged and involved. Others were like machines, almost bored - just going through the motions. The better the consultant the better the group xx
My expectations are that, at a group for people who are unhappy with their weight (and as is usually the case, will also often feel anxious, low, nervous and lacking in confidence because of this), I might find friendly, approachable people who show compassion and understanding when a new person starts. Slimming groups are supposed to help give people confidence and motivation and support to do something which isn't that easy for most and I do think that such a group should be a little bit more friendly and sociable. I don't expect it to be like a night out with my friends, but it'd be nice not to be ignored completely by people. When I went to WW, I didn't know anyone but people made me feel so welcome that I actually looked forward to it and over time, as I became a 'fixture' and new people started, I would always make an effort to get to know them and introduce them to others as I remembered how hard it was for me that first time. For me, I have to enjoy group because if it's just something I see as a chore I'd rather not be doing, then I won't get anything out of it and so chances are, I won't go for very long.
In the last group I attended, I did make an effort to speak to people and introduce myself and join i conversations but they did not respond in kind. Plus the group was so big it was hard to make friends as people were coming and going etc. I am joining one tomorrow so fingers crossed it will be nice and friendly, have a good leader and make me feel welcome :) Thanks to those who wished me luck.
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