Uh, I'm kinda new to this thing so go easy.
I've kind of reached out to you guys on this website as a cry for help.
I'm 21 this year. These should be the happiest, carefree days of my life but instead I'm stuck at this dead end of self-loathing and bewilderment. Each day being pushed deeper into the ground by an overwhelming pressure of hopelessness.
I've always, since I hit puberty, been big.
It's my body build - I can accept that. I'd rather be wide and curvy than skinny as a post... but I'm not wide and curvy.
I'm just a big, fat, hideous blobby mess.
Now, I can probably tell what ya'll thinking when you're reading this: ''Whiney mare! Do something about it if you're not happy!!''
- But that's my whole reason for posting on here.
I've tried, believe me, I've tried so, so hard.
I've done Weight Watchers, Slimming World, Cambridge Diet.. some ridiculous 'laxative' diet me and my friend thought it was a good idea to do... (NOTE:This is in NO WAY a good idea. Do not even think about it. It's a painful, smelly, icky diet and is totally dangerous) ... I've tried most of them.
I guess from basic research that healthy eating and regular exercise is the best way to lose weight but I have no motivation.
I have loads of reasons to lose the weight.... The big 21 coming up in November. The health benefits. The confidence boost. The hopes that I can meet a guy and not push him away completely because I'm so ridiculously insecure about myself. But I seem to be stuck in this big empty room and nothing is motivating me.
I just need some kind of advise.
Any advise, really.
I can't go through my twenties like I spent my teens...
A self-loathing pile of comfort eating, binge drinking, fat mess.
I just want to be happy.
So. If there's any other kind of diets, crash diets, magic lamps that will grant me a wish, etcetc, please let me know.
Thank you for taking the time to read this.
A very unhappy, overweight physical and emotional mess.