Back in the room...again!

Thanks for your reply Minerva, I agree that the odd lapse is ok providing you can get back on track. Sometimes I've even found that it kick starts my weight loss again. Thanks for the good wishes for my pre op, apparently they are scheduled 4-6 weeks before the operation which means all being well my op will be around the end of May/middle of June giving me the summer to recuperate. If I can lose another half stone before the assessment, my BMI should be ok even with the lower height measurement so I've just got to be really good from now on. I feel sad that my elder daughter is expecting her second baby at the end of May and I won't be able to be any help to her this time, unfortunately I've just got to put myself first at the moment.
 
You are right, at this point you really do have to put your needs first! This operation is important for your well-being and mobility, which will mean many, many happy years running around with your grandchildren!
Half a stone sounds very reasonable for 3 weeks so long as you remain on track :) You can do it!
 
Thanks again for your support Minerva, it's much appreciated. I had a bad moment last night where I yet again pushed the self destruct button and had a large piece of chocolate cake that I'd bought for when my family came down over Easter. OH was having dinner at his mum's- he always goes there to see her on a Tuesday after work, and I had a bad case of feeling pissed off and cabin fever having spent another day cooped up in the house not seeing anyone, working from home on the computer. I know it's a short term thing, it's fixable and I have a lot to be grateful for, like living in a bungalow so I can get round, and having a job that I can do from home, but I am missing my independence so much. I miss just being able to get in the car and go out when I want, where I want, to see friends and family, go shopping or for a coffee. I can't even push the hoover round, or stand to cook a meal, or hang the washing out. How I thought stuffing my face with cake would help I really don't know. Anyway, that was yesterday, I feel back to the old glass-half-full positive normal me today. Exante maple syrup pancakes for breakfast, which are amazing. Hopefully in a few months I will be bionic super improved me, only a much reduced in size, more fun, happier me.
 
I really hope you've had a good day today, remember your goal! I can't imagine being in your shoes, it must be so stressful to feel so .. trapped. Is there any small way you can alleviate it? Could you go and sit in the garden (when this country grants a moment of sunshine that is...) with a really good cup of something warm? Just watch the world go by? Could a friend come by?

Nights alone can be hard, I remember when my partner would go out or have band practice previously and I'd use that opportunity to self-sabotage... Because I was feeling lonely, bored, and whatever else was in my head. But does food really solve anything? I think you can agree that it doesn't... So why do we do it? It sounds like you know why - because at the moment you are not feeling 100%. Is there any way you can pre-plan for an activity you could do, maybe a hobby, or maybe just curling up with a good book when you will be on your own? A way to work through those Tuesday evenings?

You do have to remember it won't always be like this. If you are careful for just a few weeks, you will get your independence back once the surgery and recovery passes. This is only in the short-term. A moment of discomfort for a brighter tomorrow.
 
Thanks Minerva for your lovely reply and encouragement. I am normally a very positive happy resilient person, more so since recovering from breast cancer as I count each day as a blessing, don't take anything for granted and am very grateful for all I do have in my life. Days like Tuesday are rare, I am normally happy in my own company, and like nothing better than relaxing with a good book. Friends and family do pop over since I've been unable to drive, and when OH isn't working we go out in the car, so it's not that bad. I think I was just feeling sorry for myself. The annoying thing is why this induces the self destruct reaction, as you have identified with. We know it doesn't help anything, so indeed why do we do it? Normally I join OH at his mums on a Tuesday after work but it's not practical for him to come all the way home to pick me up first, so for now he just goes on his own. As you say, all of this is a short term thing, I'm going to be fixed and once am mobile again can look forward to a wonderful summer. Anyway, I was back on track yesterday so no real harm done.

We're going to Prague in three weeks for a few days, which was booked before this latest problem with my knee. My son and his wife live there, and have just had their first baby, Ruby. I'm determined to make the most of the trip, Easyjet have been great providing wheelchair assistance at the airport, and I have looked into hiring a mobility scooter while we're there so I can still get around. So there's no reason why I can't have just as much fun!

Hope you're having a good day, am going to take a peek at your diary now.
 
Weighed myself this morning and I've been stuck at the same reading all week, which I suppose I can't complain at as I've had a couple of lapses. I tried a couple of tops on yesterday that I'd abandoned as being too tight and they are looking much better, also my trousers are a lot looser so that's good. I need to up my water intake though, I'm not very good at drinking enough. Think I need to put a bottle on my desk to encourage me to drink it through the day. Exante crispy vanilla cereal for breakfast today which is nice, I like all of their breakfasts except the raspberry porridge which is horrible, with the consistency of frogspawn (not that I've eaten frogspawn, even on a binge :))
 
I really hope Prague will be amazing, take it easy and don't try to do too much! I'm sure you will enjoy spending time with your family, I just hope your aches and pains won't cause too much discomfort. The mobility scooter sounds like a great idea too, nothing should hold you back! Does your son and family live there permanently? Or is it for work?

And it's good that you're trying on clothes along side just weighing - clothes are usually better for showing changes... though I guess at the moment for medical purposes the numbers on the scales do matter. It will come though. You are doing everything you can while remaining sane and that's the important thing!
 
I love Prague, my son moved over there nine years ago after being offered a job and has settled well, he's totally fluent in Czech and married a Czech girl two years ago. We go over whenever we can and it's the most amazing city. I'm determined to enjoy it, and I can't wait to see my new little granddaughter.

I sometimes find that even when the scales don't show a loss that measurements will, I haven't taken any measurements this time but can use my clothes to see how I'm doing. Though as you say the numbers on the scales will determine whether I can have the op so are more important at the mo. The evenings are when I'm struggling at the moment, I'm fine till about 9 pm when I could eat anything and everything in the house. Must stay strong.
 
Whoo hoo, weighed myself this morning and I've now lost 15.5 lbs in just under 3 weeks. Just got to lose as much as possible in the next couple of weeks before my pre op assessment. Am so chuffed. I'm focusing on that hopefully by late summer I'll be recovered from the op, and four stone or so slimmer with a quality of life I can currently only dream of.
 
How old is Ruby? I guess you haven't had the chance to meet her yet? It must be challenging to have your family live so far away, but at least you get to visit a beautiful city on a regular basis!

Well done on the loss as well, you're doing brilliantly! Now just a couple more weeks of being good! 100% ! You can do it! Then you will have the reward of a good assessment and a wonderful holiday. :D
 
Ruby is six weeks old and my third grandchild. I have two little grandsons, George and Oliver, aged 4 and 3. The rest of my family live less than an hour away so I get to see lots of them, and I do feel sad that I see less of my son and will miss so much of Ruby growing up. Usually we see them about four times a year, as they come over here as well as us visiting, but that's less feasible with a baby now. I can't wait to go over there in a couple of weeks, as you say trying to be 100% good till then when hopefully they'll be pleased with my progress at the assessment,then I can relax and have a few days off in Prague. It's very hard to diet there, I don't know how all the locals stay so slim as the food is so not diet friendly, lots of dumplings and bread, rich sauces etc. Don't think I've ever seen a salad on a menu there! I'll have to get straight back on track after though, as my op will probably be 4-6 weeks later so I've still got to lose as much as I can to lessen the risks from the anaesthetic and to get the best results from the new joint.

My boss has important clients from China visiting this week, whom I've been dealing with regarding the licensing of their products in the UK. My boss has asked me to join them for dinner tomorrow night which is going to be challenging as the restaurant he's booked is amazing. Such a shame to have to go for the damage limitation options, especially when someone else is paying! :)
 
Aww it'll be great meeting Ruby for the first time and you have another grandchild on the way too! It's hard to know your grandchild is growing up and you won't see much of it - I can't imagine how my grandparents felt when I moved away at 10 years old. I only really saw them once a year after that because it was so far away. I regret it in a way, because if anything, they were like my actual parents as they were the ones who raised me up to that point, but I didn't have much choice. I know that once Ruby is old enough, you will both see each other more and who knows what life will bring? Maybe your son will one day find a job in the UK and he'll move back over. You never know really. You are blessed with so much and you sound like you were a wonderful mother to all your children and I'm sure you are an absolutely AMAZING grandma.

The food on the continent is indeed rich - I haven't been to the Czech Republic, but I've been to quite a few European countries around there - and I agree that the food is always very 'full on'. I'm always amazed when I visit my friends in Belgium, how big their portion sizes are and they're all skinny! I come from European countries myself and I do notice a trend - people eat freely, but only really gain weight past the age of 40. In Russia I'd be hard pressed to find someone older than 50 that is slim. I think it's some sort of genetic metabolism thing. But I didn't seem to inherit it, I've always been fat no matter what :p

Oh well. How did the dinner with boss and clients go? Did it go well? Both on the business side of things and the food (since this is a ... food forum.. :rolleyes: ).
 
Yes, I can't wait to meet Ruby now. My other son and his wife and my grandson George are over there this week and send me photos every day, it will soon be my turn for cuddles! It may be that they will come back to the UK sometime, my son does get a bit homesick. However, it will be harder to move as Ruby gets older and settled in school I suppose. At least the flights are relatively cheap and it's only a couple of hours away.

It was interesting what you say about the Eastern Europeans' tendency to gain weight as they get older. Thinking about it you don't see many older people in Prague at all apart from tourists, apparently they move out of the city as they grow older, which I suppose is the norm in most cities. So maybe I just see young slim vibrant people there!

Dinner last night was really nice. The Chinese guy was lovely, spoke amazing English and seems very laid back. It's nice to meet someone you've had long email conversations with and be able to put a face to the name! It was a good evening. What I did find encouraging was that I seemed to have finally developed an "off" switch that told me to stop eating when I was full. My appetite seems a lot smaller, which even when I've done VLCD's before hasn't happened-in the past when I've gone off plan I've REALLY gone :rolleyes: but last night although I decided to choose what I wanted to eat, rather than what was most diet friendly, I didn't have the urge to clear my plate and stopped when I'd eaten enough. And I only had one glass of wine. I've put 4lb on today but I know that's water weight as I had a lot of carbs so am not too bothered. Back on track today!
 
One thing, I'd like to just say, as a side note, because it made me sad to read you say it in my diary - don't feel down about not being able to do what you feel your grandchildren want you to do, like crawl around the floor with them. On some level they do actually understand that you can't. Maybe if they're very young, they don't. But past the age of 4, they do gain an understanding of other people's pain and they just want to involve you in their games because they love you. I say this as a grandchild and I remember a lot of things from my childhood. My Latvian grandparents were older, my gran was partially blind and very overweight due to a heart condition and my granddad was in the Soviet labour camps in Siberia when he was young so he wasn't able to move about much, due to a collapsed lung, badly healed broken leg and diabetes. They couldn't "play" with us. But they were the most caring, amazing people - and I always felt loved even if they couldn't do everything we wanted to do - a short walk would tire them out, so going outside was very limited. Even when I was little I understood that they had limits. They were always there and always able to help. And thing is, I know you're doing that and everything in your power to be the best you can be for them. That's what counts and this is what they will take away from their childhood as they grow older.

:)

And I'm so glad you had a good time at the dinner last night. Sounds like it went well! You're right about VLCD's though - they do tend to make us go a bit nuts, long periods of deprivation can actually alter body chemistry in such a way, that, when the fasting period is broken, the body goes into some sort of overdrive and it tries to get back energy stores for another period of famine. We are animals after all - and there must be some primitive instinct to prepare for events like that, just in case it happens again. Too bad you can't just tell it to calm down! :rolleyes:
 
I always get quite choked when I read your replies, you respond with such understanding and kindness. Thank you for sharing your experiences with your Latvian grandparents, they must have had such a hard life, but obviously loved and cared for you very much. You are so right, children do understand limitations and hopefully my grandchildren will grow up knowing how much they are loved too.

I've struggled a bit with the diet the last couple of days. My elder daughter came over with my little grandson Oliver for the day yesterday, she's expecting her second baby next month and has just started her maternity leave. I haven't admitted I'm doing a VLCD as I end up having to defend it and I can't actually be bothered anymore so only OH knows that's what I'm doing. So I came off plan and we had fresh tomato and basil soup with crusty rolls for lunch followed by some fruit, and I cooked salmon with new potatoes and peas for tea, all healthy but too many carbs. So the water weight's still hanging around :(. Friends have invited us out for lunch tomorrow so that's another day of damage limitation. I don't think I'll have lost anything this week. That's the problem with VLCD's, they are great but really difficult to have any kind of a social life with!!
 
I don't think you're struggling at all.. You're living life! VLCD's aren't the only way to get weight off, plenty of people have success with calorie counting or doing something like 5:2. I do understand not wanting to divulge too much about strict diets, it's stressful, but you are doing what you can not to do too much damage on your 'eating' experiences. Some people use the VLCD packs on their down days, so do the plan as intended on days you know you won't have social engagements and calorie count (as closely as possible) on days you do eat 'normally'. It's a slightly slower route, but it will work too. It's about average calories per week after all. It doesn't sound like you went all out and gave up on those days.
You're doing well :) Keep going forward, stay positive and you'll get to where you want to be x
 
I totally agree with what you say, I've been dieting on and off for over forty years using a variety of methods, including 5:2 and calorie counting. I find using the formula that a lb in weight loss or gain equates to about a 3500 calorie excess or deficit (see nerdy science person popping up here!) helps put things into perspective- "cheating" by a relatively small amount makes so little long term difference. So even regularly eating 200 calories a day on top of a VLCD eating plan would only mean roughly an extra 1.75lb loss per month, all things being equal. So if I sometimes want a splash of milk in my coffee, or even a meal out providing I don't go completely off the rails, it wont make a huge difference. The reason I'm trying to stick to the VLCD as much as possible is to get the numbers on the scales down as quickly as possible so as not to have my op delayed. Of course a sensible person would have predicted I needed to get a grip long before this, but as usual my head was firmly up my a**e so I am where I am. Normally a loss of 1-2lb a week by doing a healthy eating diet would be a much more sensible option, which is why I am a closet VLCD dieter, the last thing I need right now is to be told it's not sensible or sustainable. I know!!! At the moment it's a means to an end, and solely that. Having said all that, I enjoyed a Sunday roast in the pub yesterday with a glass of wine and loved every mouthful. Back on track today though after a week with two meals out and a couple of other blips, no weight lost as I'm still carrying the water weight but no distractions on the horizon this week, so if I can get a couple of pounds off I'll be happy. :) Hope you had a nice weekend.
 
Almost 100% yesterday except for one digestive biscuit that called to me as I made a brew :rolleyes: which even then I count as a success as usually I'd demolish half the packet. Exante maple syrup pancakes for brekky today which are yummy and very filling, together with a black Doue Egberts caramel flavoured coffee, which is a lifesaver, the sweetness just satisfies my cravings when I feel about to cave in. I like the Beanies range of flavoured coffees too, especially the Irish Cream which smells just like a Baileys, mmm. Have decided to rent the mobility scooter for Prague as it will give us so much more flexibility to get around, I've never actually driven one so OH reckons a "you've been framed" moment or two is on the cards given my lack of co ordination. Especially after a slivovice or two...can you be done for being drunk in charge of a mobility scooter? Only joking obs. ;)
 
I do better on a high protein lowish carb diet as well...very interesting read.

Good luck with your diet and your knee op in a few weeks time.
 
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