Step 1 Sole Source Confessions of a serial CWP returner
- Thread starter bettiesrevenge
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bettiesrevenge
Gold Member
I hope so. Just drank another 1.5 litres of water. Feeling good... Think the water makes all the difference!!!
bettiesrevenge
Gold Member
Having a wobble. At work... Thinking about food!!!!
Off to my consultant in a bit. I'm not sure if she is for me. I've been twice and there is something about her which is a bit....odd.
Off to my consultant in a bit. I'm not sure if she is for me. I've been twice and there is something about her which is a bit....odd.
bettiesrevenge
Gold Member
Oh snap!!! I'm not loving the fact that I've just been weighed and at my CwPCs scales I was 15st 1.5lbs.
How the hell can that be possible. I've been very good today and yesterday. So that makes no logical sense. I'm frustrated beyond words.
Still as you say Jo. A few days will be all it takes. Got to keep focused and stay strong. I'm going to write my list of reasons to do just that.
1)I need to lose weight to feel comfortable with myself
2) I want to be a good role model for my daughters
3) I want to be more active
4) I want to feel like a sexual being again not just like a slithering lump who can only get dressed in the dark
5) I want to be able to get my arms and legs out from undercover.
6) I'm going to turkey in July and I need to be smaller to survive the heat
7) I've spent too long hiding behind excuses to lose weight
8) I've used food as a tool to hide from
feelings for too long. Chocolate doesn't make it better. Feeling worthy makes it better. I can feel good about myself I don't need validation from anyone
9) eating chocolate and sweets is making me I'll. If I don't stop I will become diatbetic
10) losing weight will massively improve my pcos symptoms.
There. Ten is a nice number of reasons to stop torturing myself.
How the hell can that be possible. I've been very good today and yesterday. So that makes no logical sense. I'm frustrated beyond words.
Still as you say Jo. A few days will be all it takes. Got to keep focused and stay strong. I'm going to write my list of reasons to do just that.
1)I need to lose weight to feel comfortable with myself
2) I want to be a good role model for my daughters
3) I want to be more active
4) I want to feel like a sexual being again not just like a slithering lump who can only get dressed in the dark
5) I want to be able to get my arms and legs out from undercover.
6) I'm going to turkey in July and I need to be smaller to survive the heat
7) I've spent too long hiding behind excuses to lose weight
8) I've used food as a tool to hide from
feelings for too long. Chocolate doesn't make it better. Feeling worthy makes it better. I can feel good about myself I don't need validation from anyone
9) eating chocolate and sweets is making me I'll. If I don't stop I will become diatbetic
10) losing weight will massively improve my pcos symptoms.
There. Ten is a nice number of reasons to stop torturing myself.
And even every single reason by itself is a great reason to stop.
Ignore the weigh in for now, a litre of water in your body will weigh 2lbs and its quite possible that your body is retaining water as it adjusts. In 5.5 days you'll have done a week and have had a great loss. Every week from then will be easy.
However bad you feel, eating wont fix that, it'll multiply it.
Ignore the weigh in for now, a litre of water in your body will weigh 2lbs and its quite possible that your body is retaining water as it adjusts. In 5.5 days you'll have done a week and have had a great loss. Every week from then will be easy.
However bad you feel, eating wont fix that, it'll multiply it.
bettiesrevenge
Gold Member
Thank you Jo!!!
I am committed this time. I absolutely have to focus and get through these first few days. I'm fearful of what could happen if I don't. Every day I remain like this I feel that I'm losing a piece of myself. My self esteem, my self worth, my self love have all turned sour. But honestly some of why I am like this is because of life experiences which have turned my intrinsic self worth sour.
I have a good career doing something humanitarian. I have amazing children. I have a lovely home. I'm intelligent, I have good humour and I have plenty of virtues. But sometimes things happen that just make you feel worthless and inferior.
I guess I've been through the mill During the last 4 years. It's amazing that I'm as resilient as I am.
I am committed this time. I absolutely have to focus and get through these first few days. I'm fearful of what could happen if I don't. Every day I remain like this I feel that I'm losing a piece of myself. My self esteem, my self worth, my self love have all turned sour. But honestly some of why I am like this is because of life experiences which have turned my intrinsic self worth sour.
I have a good career doing something humanitarian. I have amazing children. I have a lovely home. I'm intelligent, I have good humour and I have plenty of virtues. But sometimes things happen that just make you feel worthless and inferior.
I guess I've been through the mill During the last 4 years. It's amazing that I'm as resilient as I am.
I think its probably the fear of failure and finally getting it right that's holding you back - but you have to love yourself!
I know exactly what you mean, I've got a great job, great partner, I'm comfortable and I love my life - but I still have in the back of my head 'but I'm still fat' which is ridiculous! We're denying ourselves happiness and its just not right anymore.
If you get through today, from the sound of it, you're further on than you have been in a long time, and if you've done day 1 and 2, why not day 3 and 4?!
I know exactly what you mean, I've got a great job, great partner, I'm comfortable and I love my life - but I still have in the back of my head 'but I'm still fat' which is ridiculous! We're denying ourselves happiness and its just not right anymore.
If you get through today, from the sound of it, you're further on than you have been in a long time, and if you've done day 1 and 2, why not day 3 and 4?!
bettiesrevenge
Gold Member
Absolutely!!
I have to congratulate the small things. I've drank 3 litres of water so I'm well hydrated. I'm going to clear the dishes away then head to bed.
The main challenge in my life is that I feel like I have to be the one to hold it all together. Especially since my OH is so damn impulsive. Today I came home and he had emptied the office. I mean emptied. Furniture and files are piled up in the bedroom. When I asked why he did that he simply said "I'm painting it while I'm off" so I naturally enquired where the paint was to which he replied "you can get it tomorrow".
Now I understand he is thinking "the office needs painting, I'm going to be helpful and do something which needs doing" but in reality, the office is the last in a long list of priorities. Now I've come home, it looks like a tornado has hit the house. The kitchen is a tip and the washing which I asked him to put away is still on the bed covered in stuff from the office!!!!
This is one of the main reasons that I get overwhelmed and stuff my face. Living in a household affected by adult ADHD!!!!
I have to congratulate the small things. I've drank 3 litres of water so I'm well hydrated. I'm going to clear the dishes away then head to bed.
The main challenge in my life is that I feel like I have to be the one to hold it all together. Especially since my OH is so damn impulsive. Today I came home and he had emptied the office. I mean emptied. Furniture and files are piled up in the bedroom. When I asked why he did that he simply said "I'm painting it while I'm off" so I naturally enquired where the paint was to which he replied "you can get it tomorrow".
Now I understand he is thinking "the office needs painting, I'm going to be helpful and do something which needs doing" but in reality, the office is the last in a long list of priorities. Now I've come home, it looks like a tornado has hit the house. The kitchen is a tip and the washing which I asked him to put away is still on the bed covered in stuff from the office!!!!
This is one of the main reasons that I get overwhelmed and stuff my face. Living in a household affected by adult ADHD!!!!
Yeah I can understand that must be really hard. I think women do tend to take responsibility for their partner's happiness and always put themselves last.
But putting yourself first as far as your diet and body and self esteem is concerned will benefit you both. You have to love yourself.
Huge congrats on a second day down!
But putting yourself first as far as your diet and body and self esteem is concerned will benefit you both. You have to love yourself.
Huge congrats on a second day down!
bettiesrevenge
Gold Member
I wish it was that I was making him
Happy?!!! I just try and control the chaos!!!!
Happy?!!! I just try and control the chaos!!!!
bettiesrevenge
Gold Member
Wow woke up feeling decidedly fluey. Got a burning nose and a terrible cough.
Still going strong. Only a litre of water down though so got to step that up!
May have to get an early dart today. Feel blurgh!
Still going strong. Only a litre of water down though so got to step that up!
May have to get an early dart today. Feel blurgh!
bettiesrevenge
Gold Member
I have a cup of bouillon on the go!!! Like golden vegetable water flavourings and allowed on plan. Who knew how nice it is!!!!
bettiesrevenge
Gold Member
Errrm ages ago!!!!!
I mean I have done SS+ or 810 but not SS.
Feel so horrible tonight. Stinking cold. Still the good news is I'm here!!!!
Also came home to the most beautifully decorated office today. It's lush. Reminds me of a forest.
Obvs OH is forgiven!
I mean I have done SS+ or 810 but not SS.
Feel so horrible tonight. Stinking cold. Still the good news is I'm here!!!!
Also came home to the most beautifully decorated office today. It's lush. Reminds me of a forest.
Obvs OH is forgiven!
