And yes, food has been my security blanket for too long, and then you see that you're actually wrapping yourself in something old and dirty and ugly if that makes any sense... what I mean is, it wasn't giving me any security at all, just undermining my confidence and making me feel bad about myself.
Katycakes - what a perfect image for me to take forward! An old, dirty, ugly security blanket is NOT what I want or need! You really hit the nail on the head with that imagery, so thanks for that - yet another tool for my mental toolbox when I face another food challenge.
The strange thing for me is that I have known forever that food has never been the real issue - only the 'answer' and a wrong answer at that! I can go for periods eating healthily, but then something will happen and I resort to old bad eating patterns.
For many reasons (too many/too personal to mention) I've never been comfortable in my own skin, and hiding away and eating gave me a sense of comfort I didn't get from those around me (or from myself). I kept people out from knowing the real me and then built up an exterior that I too became invested in believing wasn't the 'real me'. It then became my excuse for why people would leave/hurt me. And I could 'comfort' myself thinking 'ah, if I was thin things would be different/better' It was the comfort, the excuse that I needed much more than being slim.
I'm now dealing with those issues separately, and the biggest realisation of just how little food fits into the equation is highlighted by being on CD SS at the same time - without food there to be the 'answer', all the previously hidden emotional triggers are laid bare, as is the need to pay attention to finding true answers, not just the 'easy' or familiar ones.
And I think that's why 'normal' diets (I tried WW before CD) that focus on types/quantities of food can't work for me - as they focus me on the wrong issue: food.
I'd wager there are many more people struggling because they haven't come to that realisation. Here's hoping those who do, will spend as much time/effort sorting out their heads as they will their bodies.
We can do it - and this forum is great 'food for the mind' as we find comraderie, support, laughs and wonderful advice here from folks like Serena who really are on the ball...
...Overeating is often tied up with other issues such as poor self esteem - if you can beat yourself up for being a "fat greedy pig" then it takes the spotlight away from what's really niggling away at you.
...I know that CD is taking care of my body's physical needs but my weight loss battle is actually taking place where it all started...in my mind. And this time I am going to win. As are we all.
Aw, Serena - it has been said already, but you really do know how to say it and say it right, don'tcha? Thanks again for chipping in with such a great - and perceptive - contribution.
(and so concise too! unlike my rambling!! lol)
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