Gg

[Surfhunny]

You've got a heck of a lot to be thinking about there! I find it very sad that a profession that is meant to be caring and people orientated can leave staff feeling so low and isolated, I'm talking about both our jobs here!! I'm also pretty damn sure what my boss is planning is illegal, I'm also pretty sure his boss has no idea about it, so I'll definitely be going in armed and dangerous!! I'm even going to ask about graduated return, not sure how long you have to be off before it's an option - will investigate that tomorrow!!

I know your session today has opened a whole can of worms but hopefully it'll be a big help in the long run!

 

[MinnieMel]

Hi Gg,

I hope that things work re: the profrofession. Is there any possibilty of funding for re or additional training? Maybe you could contact some recruitment agencies and see what areas of nursing have opportunities.

I am an adult child of an alcoholic myself. Everything you wrote in your earlier post is so true. I am still working though my issues because of it -- and have been watching my sisters struggle with their own damage.

MM

 

[Goreygirl]

Hi Gg,

I hope that things work re: the profrofession. Is there any possibilty of funding for re or additional training? Maybe you could contact some recruitment agencies and see what areas of nursing have opportunities.

I am an adult child of an alcoholic myself. Everything you wrote in your earlier post is so true. I am still working though my issues because of it -- and have been watching my sisters struggle with their own damage.

MM

Hi MM

Sadly any retraining I would need to do would need to be funded from my own pot... I have a little put away because I have an idea of what I want to do and the cost of the course etc.. but it's what i live on until I can start earning in that area that will be the question.

Because of how I specialised in my career it's now deskilled me in a lot of areas of hands on nursing (clinical nursing)....there are some areas I could look at that I would be considered qualified for however due to the recession opportunities are extremely few and far between here.. so I may have to consider moving back to the UK.. not ideal but it may be the only option left.

It's just a bit of a shock because it has highlighted that some of my demons are lying in very shallow graves and that it is taking a lot of energy to keep them there at the moment. That is my therapist's concern.. that going back into that particular environment will allow these demons to rise up again as trying to stay strong against the work culture will tire me out allowing causing me to burn out again psychologically. So like an alcoholic that has to accept that being physically in a pub is always going to be a real risk for them to start drinking again I may have to accept that that particular work environment for the moment is not a good option for me.

I've just had a really good chat with my friend in UK who used to work for the same company.... as I'm due to speak to my manager today.

The plan of action is to:
- tell the manager at the start of the call that I am having to refer to notes because my head is all over the place at the moment
- tell her that I was very distressed after talking to the work doc on Wednesday and had a bit of a relapse (isolated myself, stayed in bed, stayed at home, cancelled appts, tearful etc)
- that I felt bullied by the work doc,.. that I felt he didn't listen to me and took what I said out of context.. that he wasn't coming across as engaging with me.. that I felt he had an outcome report in his head before he even spoke to me and he stuck with that .. fitting in my answers around that (Leeds123.. if you are reading this.. don't freak! This is not normal.. this is this particular circumstance)
- tell her that I was/am very shocked at how I have been affected as it was not expected
- that the psychotherapy is very concerned about this and that he disagrees with the work doc and is willing to provide a professional report outlining why.
- that I want to lodge an appeal against the report and stop it going any further (including to the insurance company as it affects their process as I haven't even been paid yet - for the last 4 months - because HR buggered that up too!)
- that I understand my employer has resourcing issues and that at some stage a decision has to be made but at the moment that can't be made because of what has just happened over the last week. That the focus needs to be on the appeal process etc and dealing with the current events.

I'm shaking here....

 

[MinnieMel]

Gg,

It is good that your therapist wants to get on board. It sounds as if the "work doc" would be biased as he is being paid by the company (I suspect). I wish you luck --- and is there a union or outside agency that can give you some support?

MM

 

[Surfhunny]

Good luck with the call Gg, I'm going in to see my bosses boss tomorrow and I'm dreading it!! Hope it goes as you want it to!! Xxx

 

[leeds123]

did the call go ok?

I knew from your post straight after meeting the doc that all was not well and I think i posted this too. you immediately came across as scared and slightly upset and I agree with your therapist that the doc was wrong. I was worried about your relapse after meeting the doc and am glad you have identified that that meeting was not good for your health. I think your plan of action is brilliant and hope you managed to say all you needed to during the call with your manager. I just hope they are not now trying to find a way to get rid of you. can you ask for vol redundancy as that way you may be entitled to a pay off? or some kind of severance?

I am glad that you have decided against a return to work (for now) as you did seem shook up after work was discussed. your health comes first GG and my sis gave me brilliant advice recently when she said that i should emilinate as much as possible in my life which is upsetting me. and it does work, i have done this recently with work and with colleagues and people i have found to be nasty and i do feel better for it. do not compromise on your health. its sad that you will have to move back to england. Can you survive on any benefits if you leave work which will allow you to gather your thoughts until you decide what to do? how about taking a low paid but local job?

Hope all works out and let us all know how you are getting on!

 

[Goreygirl]

Hey guys

Phew .. what a 24 hours I have just had!

Well I had the call with the manager and it went really well. I managed to lead the conversation like I planned .. having it thought out in advance and having notes really really helped. This is something my therapist advised before for previous calls to work as I used to feel the need to "fill the gaps" in any pauses and would end up saying things I didn't intend/want to etc. It's something to do with my fear of authority and wanting to people please apparently lol. But I'm certainly sticking with that technique for any important calls in the future cos it really works.

Anyway.. back to the point .. the manager was really supportive. She said she could hear how upset and shocked I was and she was really sorry I felt bullied. She said they hadn't told the work doc that they could no longer support my absence and therefore need a final decision on whether I am fit to return or not now. I explained about this relapse being a bit of a surprise all round and that now I need time to work out what that is about because it's obvious I would not tolerate returning to work. She said she is happy to accept a letter from my therapist as further medical evidence that I am still unfit for work for the time being.

So what a relief!

Then.... I went up to see my CDC.. got a big hug from her which was lovely and we had a big chat. Turns out she was in a very similar situation 6-7 years ago (nurse working in a high pressure corporate environment where the culture became very oppressive and she started finding it very very stressful and had to make the decision to leave before she got ill). Then out of the blue she asked would I be interested in working in the company she works for. She's a unit manager for a residential centre for adults with intellectual disabilities. There's 3 staff nurse posts going in another unit in the group about 40 minutes drive from where I live. She's after making a personal recommendation about me to HR and I spoke to them this morning and they have sent me an application pack. I spoke to her afterwards and said I was just a bit concerned that it's been quite a while since I actually did hands on care of that sort but she says not to worry about that at all.

She says the company are really staff orientated and she thinks it would be a good environment for me ... so I am cautiously excited

Thank you all again for your support guys! I can't explain how much it means to me.

 

[enlightenme2]

WOW GG, I'm thoroughly impressed with how you dealt with the situation! Don't think i would have even come close to how you did. I'm positive everything will work out for the best for you! You have wonderful support and might I add a fabulous CDC!!

 

[leeds123]

oh GG!!!!! is anyone deserves some luck its you! here's hoping it goes well for you!

 

[MinnieMel]

Fab Gg -- One door closes and another one opens. I am sure they will provide you with the training (refreshing you need), and you will be able to stay in Ireland. Also, what meaningful work... intrinsic value (very likely why you were attracted to nursing initially).

MM

 

[Goreygirl]

Fab Gg -- One door closes and another one opens. I am sure they will provide you with the training (refreshing you need), and you will be able to stay in Ireland. Also, what meaningful work... intrinsic value (very likely why you were attracted to nursing initially).

MM

Exactly MM!

I was thinking this morning.. I went into my current specialty because back then the ethos was creating an environment in the workplace where people could maximise their potential and functional ability. That's not what I do know at all and that's what I want to get back to

 

[MinnieMel]

Hi Gg,

I do not know what your religious beliefs are... but my favourite saying is (and I am the mother of a SN child), "God does not make mistakes."

This sounds ideal.

MM

 

[Goreygirl]

Right..


Off to my first book club (to try to start make friends in this area).. I am so scared I found myself telling myself I was tired, have a headache etc... but pulled myself up sharp... told myself I was doing that to myself and I'd feel worse if I gave into the fear.

So... deep breath.. here goes!

 

[Surfhunny]

Go Gg well done hunny!! I had a good chat with my managers manager, I'll update you later x

 

[MinnieMel]

Have fun Gg... I always loved my book group meetings.

MM

 

[Surfhunny]

While I was at the hospital for physio I popped in to see my manager (the main boss who's also my idiot bosses boss)! I was quite scared but she was lovely!!! I told her all my worries about coming back to work and she was great!! She totally dismissed my bosses stupid idea of making up all my missed on call . And she said I don't have to come back full time either, I can come back on graduated return, all I have to do is give her a ring the week before I'm ready to go back (when ever that will be) and we can sort a timetable out. I'm so pleased I went to see her, because I also talked about going out to Asda etc with my mum and how I felt guilty, like I was truanting. She just said that my leg wouldn't get better sitting on the sofa and walking round the shops is good physical therapy. She said that if anyone had anything to say about that to tell them to take the matter up with her. So while my line manager is completely unsupportive our actual manager is very supportive, so I'm relieved!! Phew long paragraph sorry lol.

 

[Gen]

Hiya missus... well done for everything... you are doing brill xxxx

 

[MinnieMel]

Hi Sal (it is Sal, right!) --

AWESOME!!! I am so glad that you took the initative and talked to her. What a comfort to know that their is someone "higher up" who not only understands but actually give a S%it.

MM

 

[Surfhunny]

Hi Sal (it is Sal, right!) --

AWESOME!!! I am so glad that you took the initative and talked to her. What a comfort to know that their is someone "higher up" who not only understands but actually give a S%it.

MM

It is Sal lol. I didn't tell her about the Facebook incident, I didn't feel I needed to, I can handle that with his majesty himself now I Know I have big boss on my side!!

 

[MinnieMel]

Morning Gg,

How did the book group go?

MM