Gemma79
I will do this!
Hi all - thought it was about time I did a diary to help me on this new journey.
So a little about me, I had been overweight my whole adult life. In 2008 I was blessed to have a son, he changed my whole outlook on life and gave me a new sense of who I was and being a mum truely is the best! When I saw the pictures of his 1st birthday I was horrid, however didn't start on my LL journey until Sept 2009. It wasn't easy, but I can actually say I enjoyed the journey, the buzz of lossing weight so fat, I never once cheated, even going to Paris for my 30th! In February 2010 I hit goal, 10stone 10lb and I felt AMAZING! I had so much energy, I felt sexy, I loved how I looked and enjoyed every second.
I maintained within 10 lbs for 6 months then we decided to try for another baby... I feel pregnant the first month trying!! (super fertile since LL!). Then the sickness kicked in, I felt nauseous all the time and so ended up giving in to my 'cravings' of junk food. I piled on 5 stone over the prenancy and was horrifed. I had a c-section and so couldn't start LL after having my second son so did a low fat diet and some exercise, which went well for 4 months, I lost 2 stone, but then had to go back to work. With work (social worker!) comes stresses and trying to balance 2 young children. My second son will be 2 at the end of April and for the past year I have gone up and down the same stone, I can lose it easy, but boy can I put it on easy! I have mainly been trying exante. What I have found is that sadly my relationship with food is more messed up than ever since originally starting LL in 2009. I now can binge eat, never really did that before. MY secret eating has been out of control. I have felt just terrbile. Like an adict. The worst thing is, I have all the motivators to lose weight. I remember how GREAT it felt, I have all my clothes I need to fit in again and have only brought very few clothes at this size as I refuse to stay here... meaning I have spent 2 years in the same limiting clothes selction. I have the most wonderful, supportive husband, and a great life. My weight is the one thing that just makes me miserable.
Summer is coming, and I want to have the engery back that I had when I hit goal. The good news is I have discovered the gym and that I enjoy running! My sister and I are doing the couch to 5k, and only on week 2 but have been repeating weeks and it feels great to jog. Been going 3/4 times a week. I am hoping that this will help when I get to goal again, as I didn't really exercise much first time.
So on Saturday i decided to finally go back to LL, I have missed not having 4 packs and wanted to re-learn some of the usful CBT tools. However my LLC, who was amazing! no longer works for LL and so there is a new councillor. Too early to make judgements yet, but she is new and doesn't seem to understand what she is teaching (read from the book, never been in ketosis). However, the ladies in group were lovely, most having done it before so that is good to have like minded people to bounce off. So I will give it 4 weeks with group, if the CBT is not helping will move to S&S, having found out about that here!
So I am taking 1 day at a time, I want to sole sorce until May at least when it is my anniervsary and then take stock. The lowest I have been since having my 2nd son is 12stone, 5, so that will be the first big milestone... so here goes - cheers! (pint of water in hand!)
So a little about me, I had been overweight my whole adult life. In 2008 I was blessed to have a son, he changed my whole outlook on life and gave me a new sense of who I was and being a mum truely is the best! When I saw the pictures of his 1st birthday I was horrid, however didn't start on my LL journey until Sept 2009. It wasn't easy, but I can actually say I enjoyed the journey, the buzz of lossing weight so fat, I never once cheated, even going to Paris for my 30th! In February 2010 I hit goal, 10stone 10lb and I felt AMAZING! I had so much energy, I felt sexy, I loved how I looked and enjoyed every second.
I maintained within 10 lbs for 6 months then we decided to try for another baby... I feel pregnant the first month trying!! (super fertile since LL!). Then the sickness kicked in, I felt nauseous all the time and so ended up giving in to my 'cravings' of junk food. I piled on 5 stone over the prenancy and was horrifed. I had a c-section and so couldn't start LL after having my second son so did a low fat diet and some exercise, which went well for 4 months, I lost 2 stone, but then had to go back to work. With work (social worker!) comes stresses and trying to balance 2 young children. My second son will be 2 at the end of April and for the past year I have gone up and down the same stone, I can lose it easy, but boy can I put it on easy! I have mainly been trying exante. What I have found is that sadly my relationship with food is more messed up than ever since originally starting LL in 2009. I now can binge eat, never really did that before. MY secret eating has been out of control. I have felt just terrbile. Like an adict. The worst thing is, I have all the motivators to lose weight. I remember how GREAT it felt, I have all my clothes I need to fit in again and have only brought very few clothes at this size as I refuse to stay here... meaning I have spent 2 years in the same limiting clothes selction. I have the most wonderful, supportive husband, and a great life. My weight is the one thing that just makes me miserable.
Summer is coming, and I want to have the engery back that I had when I hit goal. The good news is I have discovered the gym and that I enjoy running! My sister and I are doing the couch to 5k, and only on week 2 but have been repeating weeks and it feels great to jog. Been going 3/4 times a week. I am hoping that this will help when I get to goal again, as I didn't really exercise much first time.
So on Saturday i decided to finally go back to LL, I have missed not having 4 packs and wanted to re-learn some of the usful CBT tools. However my LLC, who was amazing! no longer works for LL and so there is a new councillor. Too early to make judgements yet, but she is new and doesn't seem to understand what she is teaching (read from the book, never been in ketosis). However, the ladies in group were lovely, most having done it before so that is good to have like minded people to bounce off. So I will give it 4 weeks with group, if the CBT is not helping will move to S&S, having found out about that here!
So I am taking 1 day at a time, I want to sole sorce until May at least when it is my anniervsary and then take stock. The lowest I have been since having my 2nd son is 12stone, 5, so that will be the first big milestone... so here goes - cheers! (pint of water in hand!)