Pretty little blue Pill!!!- the fight to the end!!!!!

hey everyone... ive kinda been doing some soul searching over the last day or two... being down hasnt helped this situation, and i finally (never told anyone any of these things until now!! (mainly the start) so i thought i would do the whole life story thing! so here goes!!
Its a long one so i am sorry....

i have always been a big girl from about 10 or 11.... maybe a little younger... and its purely Karma coming to get my arse!! (well add to my arse!!!)

i got in with a "bad" girl who thought it was good to steal from the local store and steal all the sweets etc...

so i got into the habbit, of taking money from my mum's purse (because i didnt want to steal directly from the shop, like that made it any better!!!) so i would spend the money in the shop on sweets and candies....

this happened most days. when i was little we lived in a town where i loved swimming, we had a fab coach and at the age of 6 i was beating girls older than me of about 10-12!! i appareantly was set to be in the 2000 olympics!!


but then we moved to this town where i got in with the bad girl, and i stop swimming coz the coach was rubbish, and then the weight just piled on...

i was 100kg's at the age of about 12!!!!
i loved netball, and could have prob been really good at that but because of my weight no one chose me... which then led to prob what was depression!!!!

i just became more and more lazy..
i was made fun of so much and i hated it but never did anything about it!!


My mum wasnt very well from about 12-16 (it was more but i didnt live with them) so from that age, i was always pretty much the one doing things, and the cooking, as i didnt ever feel like doing anything decent we lived off spaghetti and sausages.. so they are not at all the most healthy things...

we were never taught healthy things... My dad was a Chef, so we always has nice things when we were with him....


when they moved to another town i stayed where i was to continue with what is the equiv of GCSE's in aus, so i was kinda pretty much left to my own defences....

i had to walk a lot, as i didnt have a car, or the means to be able to get places... so i walked a hell of a lot, and i stopped eating pretty much, and i smoked a hell of a lot more!! and probly drank far too much also!!!

this made me very ill, and i ended up with an eating disorder...
all of which fixed itself!!


i lost 40kg in about 6-9 months!!!
when i had finished my schooling, i moved to where my parents were, but lived in a flat down stairs from them... this was convinient, as i didnt have to see them but still lived with them! it was great.. i snuck out, got drunk, and pretty much did what i wanted...

i also worked at a restaurant, so eating wasnt a problem, as i always said i wasnt hungry after looking at all that food!!!


slowly my appetite came back and i was able to eat.... i then started to eat more and more, and i was soon on the road back to fat'sville!!!
became comfortable in a relationship i was in, and the weight kinda just felt like it came over night!!!
ever since then ive been on the up...

before i moved over here, i would have to say i tried the hardest so far with trying to lose weight! i joined a gym, and went for ages most nights...
but i didnt feel like i was getting anywhere... living on my own (well with a flat mate) didnt really teach me the things i needed to eat...
i continued with the gym, and yeah i prob did loose weight, but i think i gained it in muscle!!

i moved over here, joined a gym where i was, but i wasnt ever bothered to do it... just became bored!! it wasnt the same one as the one i had in Aus, and it didnt have tv's for me to be able to watch (i used to go on the treadmil and walk/run for an hour while neighbours and home and away were on!!)

so i became bored, and stopped going......

moved up to where i am now, into my boyfriend's (at the time he is now my hubby) parents house..

this meant i pretty much had no control over what i ate...... but still it wasnt too bad.

i worked for a company which is a call centre, and all i did was sit down most of the day.... (going from a nanny to that oh my goodness!!)
the weight soon began to pile on before i could say BOO!!! i ate chocolates on my lunch break because they were right there in front of me, and i drank nothing but hotchocolates there, as i didnt like anything else!!! (the machine gave out horrible coffee and tea!!)


i then had enough of that and went back to Nanny work... i then worked for rubbish families, which then all i did was raid theirs and my chocolate cubs, and did nothing by put on weight. because i was unhappy, i wasnt very active with the kids either!!!!!


thats how i became to put anything that i lost when i was younger back on!!! and im the weight i am today! its frustrating beacuse all those years i could have done soemthing about it.....


2007 is when i prob put most of this back on, when my hubby had an affair, i had to have a lump removed from my breast, and my dad had to have a tripple heart bypass!! all very stressfull and i couldnt do anything but eat chocolate and sweets. it even got ot the point where i couldnt even pay for the petrol without walking past the cocolates and buying 3-4 and eating them!

but now its changing. im getting back the life i never had and i want to be good! i want to be able to say. yep i did it. i lost it all (safely this time) and im not going to go abck to that girl i was!!!!!


WOW ive kinda just poured my whole life and heart out there!!!
Sorry for it being so long!!
 
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morning kes!

how r u feelin today hunny!

Hope u r well

love katie
xxx
 
Hey Kes, how are you, hope your feeling a bit brighter.

Read your story and god you've came through a lot, its hardly surprising this weight loss journey is an emotional one.

Hope as you achieve your goals you realise what a remarkable person you are xxx
 
Hi everyone,
been kinda busy so ive not really had time to update this, but ive been trying to keep up with everyone elses.....

im doing good still although i was a little :( with this mornings weigh in... and now a little worried what the dr is going to say......
but we will have to cross that bridge when i come to it this afternoon, and hopefully he will be just happy with me loosing and not go to well you have to lose.... a week to keep on these, as some others have....

right im going to update on foods.....

Wednesday:
Usual Coffee for the drive!!
Breakfast: Strawberry Slim Fast pre made Shake
Snack: Tea, 1 sugar, Semi milk
Lunch: Chocolate Pre Made Slim Fast Shake
Snack: nothing
Dinner: Stirfry Pork. (beansprouts, Peppers (red and Green), Mushrooms, Rice (way too much i think!!) Soy sauce, Teryaki sauce, chilli flakes, oyster sauce
Drink: 3.1 litres
Exercise: no exercise today :(

Thursday:
Usual Coffee for the drive!!
Breakfast: Strawberry Pre made slim fast shake
Snack: Tea, sweetner, skimmed milk
Lunch: Chocolate Premade slim fast shake
Snack: nothing
Dinner: steak, home made chips, carrots and Broccoli. 1/2 glass red wine.
Drink: 3 litres.
Exercise: no exercise :(

Friday:
Coffee, sweetner, and Skimmed milk (in bed!!)
Breakfast: Chocolate Premade Slim Fast Shake
Snack: nothing
Lunch: Chocolate Premade slim fast shake
Snack: nothing
Dinner: Chicken Breast cooked in Chilli, lime juice, garlic, ginger and Fish sauce. salad (lettuce, cucumber, tomatoes peppers and non fat dressing.
weight watchers chocolate pudding, and a handful of raspberries.
1/2 glass of red wine.
Drink: 2.3 litres
Exercise: cleaning for 3 hours.

Saturday
Breakfast: nothing (still in bed)
Snack: Handful of Raspberries
Coffee, sweetner, and skimmed milk
Lunch: chocolate premade slim fast shake
Snack: nothing
Dinner: Lemon chicken and salad
Drink: NOT ENOUGH!! 1.25 litres GRRRRR
Exercise: Wii Fit 30 mins

Sunday:
Breakfast: nothing (still in bed... oh i love the weekends!!)
Snack: nothing
Lunch: Supernoodles.... low fat Chicken and Herb YUM!
Snack: nothing
Dinner: 2 weight watchers sausages, peas, sweetcorn (both frozen) Mashed potatoes without butter and mashed with skimmed milk, with Mushrooms added for that little bit of flavor...
Drink: not enough!! 2 litres.
Exercise: no exercise!! GRRRR

Ive got the Dr's this afternoon, so wish me luck!!

 
i always forget to write what ive lost... ehhh...
lost 2lb this week.. not updated all sig pic, ticker, and side menu yet, but will get there...
 
hey hun!

have you had your weigh in? what did the doc say?

love katie
xxx

ps thanks for doing my piccies for me :)
 
no weigh in at the doctors yet... thats a 4pm, then i have to scoot straight off to work, so i will be online about 7pm to update you all on how i went....
no problem on the pic by the way...will have a go at doing it now, if i cant get it done it will be done tomorrow night, hope thats ok.
 
yes dont worry there is no rush!

good luck for the docs hun! you wont need it tho ! you have done fantastic!

xxxxxxxxxxxx
 
Right. Dr's went well.. he said he was happy... and im still loosing, according to him ive lost 2kg. so he said 1kg a week is really good!
so im not going to complain..
and i also think that im going to stick to weigh ins at the Dr... as my scales are out compared to his... and its his ones that count...but im still going to weekly weigh in to make sure im roughly on track!...

today ive had...
Coffee, sweetner, skimmed milk (in bed.. hehehehe)
Breakfast: Nothing
Snack: nothing
Lunch: Banoffee Slim Fast shake
Snack: nothing
Dinner: im out baby sitting and forgot my weight watchers meal so im having another Shake.. Chocolate Slim Fast shake.
Drink 2.4 litres
Exercise: 36 mins Wii Fit
 
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hey!

well done on the 2kgs!!! thats fab!must say im a little worried about the 3 shakes mrs! though u were only supposed to have 2!

thanks for doin my piccie!

love katie!
xxxxx
 
didnt have 3 shakes today....
i didnt ahve breakkie.... (as i was in bed LOL)
so i still had 2 shakes.....
but yes i know i prob should have had somcething to eat.. but all the stuff here at work isnt great...
 
oooops! oh yeah! didnt read the post properly! naughty me! hahah

just dont make a habit of it as you will not be feeding your body enough cals :)

r u baby sittin all night?
xxxxxx
 
not all night... (well i dont know about that now) as they hve to wait for the AA.... my Dad boss bloody put the wrong fuel in the car when they stoped for petrol!!! bahhhhh....
silly one he is! lol... so it could be quite a late one for me!! ehhhhhh
 
Well i managed to get home at 1:30am! ehhh soooo tired now...
slept right through the alarms, and it was very lucky that my boss said come in 1/2 hour later because other wise i would have ended up being 1/2 hour late....

the kids have been really good today though... went off to the Gym (its a place where they do gymnastics and its open to any age in the morning to jump, and basically run riot!!) which wore them out which i was thankful for as now ive been able to have 10 mins chill out time...

today ive had....
Coffee (drive time)
Breakfast: Chocolate premade shake
Snack: nothing
Lunch: Bannoffee pre made shake, Tea, sweetner and full fat milk (need to hopefully be able to stop off at the shop to get some skimmed milk)
Snack..... (stay tuned)
Dinner:
Drink:
Exercise.. hmmmm am i going to have the energy tonight?????

sooo sleepy now... so we are going to go out to the park this afternoon, get some fresh air.. hopefully will do us all the world of good! (and stop me sleeping on the sofa!)
 
hey hun!

i know how u feel sleep deprived! OH was tossing and turning all night and kept me awake! then the girls got up at half!

Id skip the exercise and recharge your batteries!

hope u had a lovely relaxing day heheh so come on what was for dinner? Everytime i read what your having my mouth waters hehehe

love katie
xxx
 
AAAHHH im so tired, so if i make loads of mistakes im sorry lol

snack i had a bowl of cheerios (without the milk) and raisins... not sure how much of each i had, but a good handful of each...

and dinner, im sorry kae, its nothing exciting, as tuesday nights hubby is out, and i dont do cooking on tuesday as its just too much hassle, so i have meals in the freezer.... this wasnt entirely the case tonight as there was no ww meals in the freezer eeeekkk!!! only a broccoli and salmon with potato melt (my fave!!) but im not game enough to eat it incase i have an effect from salmon!!! lol...
so i had Lentil soup....
Oh how exciting....

Im babysitting again (yawn) tomorrow night, so who knows what im going to have..... ehhhhhh might have dinner with the kids.. what i dont know but we will see.....

right bed for me..
im shatted!!
night all!
 
I love lentil soup. I have a tin of soup for lunch 5 days a week :)
 
i am not keen on tinned soup so i have home made! much better.....
 
Hey,

Hope you managed to get an early night last night and have recharged a bit!

I might need to get a fat free/low fat homemade soup recipe from you if thats ok. At this time of year cant beat a nice bowl of hot soup ....... ooooooooh, want one just now! It might help my cold!!
 
I might need to get a fat free/low fat homemade soup recipe from you if thats ok. At this time of year cant beat a nice bowl of hot soup ....... ooooooooh, want one just now! It might help my cold!!

of course you can... i dont know many. but the lentil soup one is scrummy..if you want that one let me know.


Hi everyone...
ive been kinda missing in action on my own diary but keeping up on everyone elses....
will post food later (as my hand written diary that i write it all down in during the day is currently down stairs..)
and im in bed... trying to get sleepy again. (not really working...)
Hubby is sleeping next to me, but how he can sleep with me tapping away on these keys ive got no idea!!!

im out selling the books today (usborne) so i hope that i can sell loads so i can get rid of them... so if anyone wants to buy some books (only what i have in stock) then PM me and ill send you a stock list!!
ill be doing them at dicsounted prices after the 5th Dec...

then tomorrow. im going Phone shopping.. not to actually buy one (as you can get most of them cheaper online) but its just to decide what one i want...
i was looking at the Aino (sony erricsson) but apparently they have Not just that phone but all of them) have major software problems.... and frankly i dont want to have to deal with things like that....
so if anyones got a good phone.. tell me about it....

My hubby is sooooo sweet!!!
he came in the other night while i was doing something on the computer and he told me to close me eyes and hold out my hands.. (thought i was in for a good night there for a split second!! LOL) and then he put a box (from play.com) in my hands....
opened it up and it had Wii fit plus in it....
he said because ive done so well so far, he brought it for me as a congrats pressie... nawww how sweet is he!! ive yet to give it a good run yet. as i have been feeling so rubbish and tired, but will give it a go later...

right im rambling now....
so im going to get going.... will post food later... but ive generally been good.. so here is hoping apart from the stress.... i can lose some weight this week!
 
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