Kes
Gold Member
hey everyone... ive kinda been doing some soul searching over the last day or two... being down hasnt helped this situation, and i finally (never told anyone any of these things until now!! (mainly the start) so i thought i would do the whole life story thing! so here goes!!
Its a long one so i am sorry....
i have always been a big girl from about 10 or 11.... maybe a little younger... and its purely Karma coming to get my arse!! (well add to my arse!!!)
i got in with a "bad" girl who thought it was good to steal from the local store and steal all the sweets etc...
so i got into the habbit, of taking money from my mum's purse (because i didnt want to steal directly from the shop, like that made it any better!!!) so i would spend the money in the shop on sweets and candies....
this happened most days. when i was little we lived in a town where i loved swimming, we had a fab coach and at the age of 6 i was beating girls older than me of about 10-12!! i appareantly was set to be in the 2000 olympics!!
but then we moved to this town where i got in with the bad girl, and i stop swimming coz the coach was rubbish, and then the weight just piled on...
i was 100kg's at the age of about 12!!!!
i loved netball, and could have prob been really good at that but because of my weight no one chose me... which then led to prob what was depression!!!!
i just became more and more lazy..
i was made fun of so much and i hated it but never did anything about it!!
My mum wasnt very well from about 12-16 (it was more but i didnt live with them) so from that age, i was always pretty much the one doing things, and the cooking, as i didnt ever feel like doing anything decent we lived off spaghetti and sausages.. so they are not at all the most healthy things...
we were never taught healthy things... My dad was a Chef, so we always has nice things when we were with him....
when they moved to another town i stayed where i was to continue with what is the equiv of GCSE's in aus, so i was kinda pretty much left to my own defences....
i had to walk a lot, as i didnt have a car, or the means to be able to get places... so i walked a hell of a lot, and i stopped eating pretty much, and i smoked a hell of a lot more!! and probly drank far too much also!!!
this made me very ill, and i ended up with an eating disorder...
all of which fixed itself!!
i lost 40kg in about 6-9 months!!!
when i had finished my schooling, i moved to where my parents were, but lived in a flat down stairs from them... this was convinient, as i didnt have to see them but still lived with them! it was great.. i snuck out, got drunk, and pretty much did what i wanted...
i also worked at a restaurant, so eating wasnt a problem, as i always said i wasnt hungry after looking at all that food!!!
slowly my appetite came back and i was able to eat.... i then started to eat more and more, and i was soon on the road back to fat'sville!!!
became comfortable in a relationship i was in, and the weight kinda just felt like it came over night!!!
ever since then ive been on the up...
before i moved over here, i would have to say i tried the hardest so far with trying to lose weight! i joined a gym, and went for ages most nights...
but i didnt feel like i was getting anywhere... living on my own (well with a flat mate) didnt really teach me the things i needed to eat...
i continued with the gym, and yeah i prob did loose weight, but i think i gained it in muscle!!
i moved over here, joined a gym where i was, but i wasnt ever bothered to do it... just became bored!! it wasnt the same one as the one i had in Aus, and it didnt have tv's for me to be able to watch (i used to go on the treadmil and walk/run for an hour while neighbours and home and away were on!!)
so i became bored, and stopped going......
moved up to where i am now, into my boyfriend's (at the time he is now my hubby) parents house..
this meant i pretty much had no control over what i ate...... but still it wasnt too bad.
i worked for a company which is a call centre, and all i did was sit down most of the day.... (going from a nanny to that oh my goodness!!)
the weight soon began to pile on before i could say BOO!!! i ate chocolates on my lunch break because they were right there in front of me, and i drank nothing but hotchocolates there, as i didnt like anything else!!! (the machine gave out horrible coffee and tea!!)
i then had enough of that and went back to Nanny work... i then worked for rubbish families, which then all i did was raid theirs and my chocolate cubs, and did nothing by put on weight. because i was unhappy, i wasnt very active with the kids either!!!!!
thats how i became to put anything that i lost when i was younger back on!!! and im the weight i am today! its frustrating beacuse all those years i could have done soemthing about it.....
2007 is when i prob put most of this back on, when my hubby had an affair, i had to have a lump removed from my breast, and my dad had to have a tripple heart bypass!! all very stressfull and i couldnt do anything but eat chocolate and sweets. it even got ot the point where i couldnt even pay for the petrol without walking past the cocolates and buying 3-4 and eating them!
but now its changing. im getting back the life i never had and i want to be good! i want to be able to say. yep i did it. i lost it all (safely this time) and im not going to go abck to that girl i was!!!!!
WOW ive kinda just poured my whole life and heart out there!!!
Sorry for it being so long!!
Its a long one so i am sorry....
i have always been a big girl from about 10 or 11.... maybe a little younger... and its purely Karma coming to get my arse!! (well add to my arse!!!)
i got in with a "bad" girl who thought it was good to steal from the local store and steal all the sweets etc...
so i got into the habbit, of taking money from my mum's purse (because i didnt want to steal directly from the shop, like that made it any better!!!) so i would spend the money in the shop on sweets and candies....
this happened most days. when i was little we lived in a town where i loved swimming, we had a fab coach and at the age of 6 i was beating girls older than me of about 10-12!! i appareantly was set to be in the 2000 olympics!!
but then we moved to this town where i got in with the bad girl, and i stop swimming coz the coach was rubbish, and then the weight just piled on...
i was 100kg's at the age of about 12!!!!
i loved netball, and could have prob been really good at that but because of my weight no one chose me... which then led to prob what was depression!!!!
i just became more and more lazy..
i was made fun of so much and i hated it but never did anything about it!!
My mum wasnt very well from about 12-16 (it was more but i didnt live with them) so from that age, i was always pretty much the one doing things, and the cooking, as i didnt ever feel like doing anything decent we lived off spaghetti and sausages.. so they are not at all the most healthy things...
we were never taught healthy things... My dad was a Chef, so we always has nice things when we were with him....
when they moved to another town i stayed where i was to continue with what is the equiv of GCSE's in aus, so i was kinda pretty much left to my own defences....
i had to walk a lot, as i didnt have a car, or the means to be able to get places... so i walked a hell of a lot, and i stopped eating pretty much, and i smoked a hell of a lot more!! and probly drank far too much also!!!
this made me very ill, and i ended up with an eating disorder...
all of which fixed itself!!
i lost 40kg in about 6-9 months!!!
when i had finished my schooling, i moved to where my parents were, but lived in a flat down stairs from them... this was convinient, as i didnt have to see them but still lived with them! it was great.. i snuck out, got drunk, and pretty much did what i wanted...
i also worked at a restaurant, so eating wasnt a problem, as i always said i wasnt hungry after looking at all that food!!!
slowly my appetite came back and i was able to eat.... i then started to eat more and more, and i was soon on the road back to fat'sville!!!
became comfortable in a relationship i was in, and the weight kinda just felt like it came over night!!!
ever since then ive been on the up...
before i moved over here, i would have to say i tried the hardest so far with trying to lose weight! i joined a gym, and went for ages most nights...
but i didnt feel like i was getting anywhere... living on my own (well with a flat mate) didnt really teach me the things i needed to eat...
i continued with the gym, and yeah i prob did loose weight, but i think i gained it in muscle!!
i moved over here, joined a gym where i was, but i wasnt ever bothered to do it... just became bored!! it wasnt the same one as the one i had in Aus, and it didnt have tv's for me to be able to watch (i used to go on the treadmil and walk/run for an hour while neighbours and home and away were on!!)
so i became bored, and stopped going......
moved up to where i am now, into my boyfriend's (at the time he is now my hubby) parents house..
this meant i pretty much had no control over what i ate...... but still it wasnt too bad.
i worked for a company which is a call centre, and all i did was sit down most of the day.... (going from a nanny to that oh my goodness!!)
the weight soon began to pile on before i could say BOO!!! i ate chocolates on my lunch break because they were right there in front of me, and i drank nothing but hotchocolates there, as i didnt like anything else!!! (the machine gave out horrible coffee and tea!!)
i then had enough of that and went back to Nanny work... i then worked for rubbish families, which then all i did was raid theirs and my chocolate cubs, and did nothing by put on weight. because i was unhappy, i wasnt very active with the kids either!!!!!
thats how i became to put anything that i lost when i was younger back on!!! and im the weight i am today! its frustrating beacuse all those years i could have done soemthing about it.....
2007 is when i prob put most of this back on, when my hubby had an affair, i had to have a lump removed from my breast, and my dad had to have a tripple heart bypass!! all very stressfull and i couldnt do anything but eat chocolate and sweets. it even got ot the point where i couldnt even pay for the petrol without walking past the cocolates and buying 3-4 and eating them!
but now its changing. im getting back the life i never had and i want to be good! i want to be able to say. yep i did it. i lost it all (safely this time) and im not going to go abck to that girl i was!!!!!
WOW ive kinda just poured my whole life and heart out there!!!
Sorry for it being so long!!
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with this mornings weigh in... and now a little worried what the dr is going to say......
