why are they so mean!

[Nanny Doreen]

So last week I got to target, but I am still at the high end of a normal bmi. So tonight a group one lady was basically asking me why I am even here for. It really made me feel so upset - felt like I was back at school. I have worked so hard to lose the weight ( 1stone 5lb). And instead of feeling proud of all my hard work, I was made to feel like crap! I did gain a little this week, so I am now even more determined to lose it. And get to the lower side of my target. Anyone else made to feel like this?

First of all congratulations on getting to target - be proud of yourself.

I wished I had heard them. When I used to go to WW somebody piped up in regards to a lady who had lost 1st 10lb to get to target. The comment was `is that all?` `why did she come here` I was very angry about what I had heard and stood up and loudly - so all could hear including the C ` don`t you wish you had come when you you had 24lbs to lose instead of 70lbs. Then you heard the whispers ` Oh yea never thought of that` The nasty person then apologised and the C did a bit of a talk about it.
Unfortunately the target member never returned even though she said she would. I hope I didn`t out her off.
In my group we have several target members who had lost less than 2 st to get to target and still come every week and are encouraging.

Well done for being determined. xxx

 

[mumpsimus]

Hi kpnutt,

Massive congratulations for getting to target. Were the last few pounds harder than the first? You must have been so proud

With regards to the mean so-and-so with the nasty comments, I think s/he must have been jealous. Completely out of order and should have kept their mouth shut. Slimming World is not just for slimmers who have large amounts of weight to lose, it's for everyone, including life members and slimmers with a stone or so to lose. You have every right to be there and should hold your head high. You have done it!

Good luck with maintaining. My hubby was saying tonight that once I reach target (11 1/2 lbs now), I will be able to enjoy beer and takeaways with him again. Er... no. I told him it's all about changes for life, while inwardly thinking 'and the support from group or Minimins'! Stick around here and I hope the rude person at your group buttons it on Thursday x

 

[mumpsimus]

Oh, I forgot to add.. my target is at the very top end of the 'normal' BMI for my height, maybe even over a little bit. I had set myself a total of 1st 9lbs to lose. When I said it was my target I was met with raised eyebrows and "Are you sure? Why don't you set it as an interim target?".

Tough skin. Hardened resolve. I politely but firmly said that I was sure, I know what my body looks and feels like at that weight and I'm far more likely to maintain at that weight than two stone lighter thank you very much.

You do what feels right xx

 

[lickthelid]

I have to admit I read your post and thought that maybe she hadn't meant it in quite the way it was taken? Maybe you look so significantly different that she couldn't imagine you needing to be there rather than basically accusing you of taking up the air of "valid" slimmers? Surely it's more likely that she was actually making a misguided compliment than being out and out rude about your presence at the group, which is, in reality none of her business? Its hard to judge, particularly for us, as tone and context are lost in the re-telling BUT it obviously made you uncomfortable so I'd just hold your head up, keep going and be an inspiration to others in the group who aspire to be where you are now. Well done x

 

[lardylady]

Well done on reaching target!
Did the woman speak rudely? Now if she had said that you look like you need to lose more weight, then yes, that would have been rude! People say I look too thin etc when I go to get weighed, but I take it as a compliment! Nobody really wants to look like they need to go to a slimming club, do they? I know I don't!

 

[RM07]

I feel inspired by those that have reached target and continue to come to group... it's a reminder that 'Target' is within my reach and I just need to keep on going! You have every right to be at group, don't worry about what she thinks!

 

[kpnutt]

Oh wow, thank you everyone for your responses. I wouldn't say myself that I look slim, as I am small ( 4ft 11) so when I put any weight on it really shows and has an effect on my body- I suffered from a constant trapped nerve and really bad back pain. This was actually the reason I joined sw. I have got pictures of myself 4 months ago and I look a lot bigger than I am now, but for some reason it seems she didn't believe be. I am the kind of person that if I didn't go to group, would gain it all back. I need the routine of it all. I did find the last few pounds hard to shift. I really had to be 100%

 

[Gwella]

Well done to you on reaching your target and healthy weight.
Agree with everyone above who says that her attitude won't help her to stay at a healthy weight if she gets there.
Some of us find SW at a point before things get really, really out of control. I am SO glad I heard about it just at the point where my BMI tipped into 'obese' and I feel for those who have a lot to lose, and admire them for persevering over a long journey. But that doesn't mean I don't work bloody hard to get healthy or that I don't deserve to be at group!
Maybe she intended it as a compliment, you never know... misguided and unhelpful in any case!

 

[rm247]

At my group there a selection of people who range from extremely overweight to targte members who are happily slim. Some members have been going far longer than others, the idea that one of the bigger members would be upset at the target members for still going is insane. The issue is with the single vile woman, she is not representative of the entire group.

Basically, she feels fat and frustrated she's not losing weight this makes her depressed so she lashes out at an easy target, which in this case turned out to be you.

 

[bilsat]

I am also a target member now, I have attended for the last 153 weeks without missing a week! As others have said, you go to inspire others that it can be done, I have a range of pictures, before, during & now & they get passed around the group from time to time, my recipe books also do the rounds.
Ignore her comments as she is probably jealous of what you have achieved!

 

[Tanyalina]

When I eventually get to target I will carry on attending for the weigh ins so I don't go completely off and pile all my hard work back on, the different things people discover are low or syn free, and the social aspect, I'd miss the laughs and chats x

 

[Mrs CC]

I think maybe the person in question was trying to be complimentary. Everything is subjective and personal to yourself. I have friends who are bigger than I am who would be happy with the size I am, although I'm not happy at this size. I also know people skinnier than I am whose figures I envy and I know they would like to lose weight too! All you can do is focus on yourself and ignore other people.

 

[OpalLilyEats]

This got me wondering... if you were a healthy weight and happy with how you looked/felt, could you join slimming world as a target member to begin following the plan to maintain your weight in a conscious and healthy way?! Or can you only join if you have weight to lose?

I'm really interested to know this now actually! xx

 

[lickthelid]

I'm sure I read somewhere you have to have a target of a minimum of 6lbs to lose? I have thought about this because I could join with the last 6lb (why not 7?) to go and then be a target member and save the dollar

edited to clarify that I DO currently pay for online and I'm not a freeloader as I know this bothers some people...

 

[steph1212]

You can only join slimming world if you've got 7lbs or more to lose. Think it's to prevent people who are at the lower end of there bmi joining and potentially going into an unhealthy weight range maybe. Suppose it would be difficult for a leader to teach someone the plan who didn't need to lose weight because the maintenance phase is a bit of trial and error with HEXs etc.x

 

[OpalLilyEats]

Hmmmm, kinda contradicts the message of it being a long-term healthy eating plan though... rather than a diet! x

 

[X..Sianabelle..X]

I am almost at target, but i feel some of the ladies look at me strange, some of them don't always have the nicest things to say either. I will continue to go to club when i get to target because im worried about keeping my weight off, i love the social aspect of group, even if there are some meanies! My old school friend goes aswell and we have a good weekly catch up and a laugh.

 

[Rochelle1]

You have to have 7lbs to lose to join x

 

[lickthelid]

See I KNEW 7lbs would make more sense than 6lb. I swear sometimes I just make stuff up as I go along.

 

[Minimunchkins]

I joined again last night with a touch more than the 7lbs to lose for target - I could do it on my own at home but my DD finally decided enough was enough & I'll go to class for as long as she'd like my support & stuff to anyone who doesn't like it