Thread: Julz Management, here we go!

Oh I love cookery books! Thanks for that tip Julz

Originally Posted by Debbi8489

Oh I love cookery books! Thanks for that tip Julz

Hi Debbie
This is the first time for ages I have been on my laptop and can see your stats, well done for reaching goal. Different challenges ahead for you. My take on it all is not to put too much pressure on yourself to 'always eat what is right', I am finding the pressure too much and it is causing me some issues.
Good luck"
Jx

It's been a few weeks since I updated my diary, and it has begun to show. I am struggling on maintenance, some days are better than others.
I made the decision to restart my dairy in the wish that it will help me refocus. I have not gone completely off the rails, most days I am planning my meals ok, however, I have been overeating, end up feeling bloated still after each meal. So struggling to know when I am full.
Managing the amount of protein and dairy I need to have each day I am not finding so easy. Breakfast every day I have porridge which is my 'old' way, I am happy with that, keeps me full and warm and is a managed portion.
Lunch when at work, now it is so so cold (I'm still having an issue with cold hands and feet) I no longer have salad, as much as I like it. A couple of days I have taken a pack into work, which I did not want to get into, but worked. Trying to stay away bread. Have been eating mcdonalds veggie wrap once a week, and subway veggie delight one day per week. Thinking behind this is it is measured amounts and under 400 calories.
Decided I will take in some food this week that can just be heated at work that I can prep the night before, curry or chilli etc.
Have managed to keep my fruit intake down without too much of an issue, this time of year I would normally been eating 10-20 satsumas a day plus bananas, apples etc. Fruit is a trigger for me, and I am really happy with this part of management.
Not the same with chocolate trigger............... decided when I got to management as I had such a strong pull towards chocolate, I would have a bar a day. This decision came when I started management and had a bar (normal single size not 500g bar I used to have), then decided I better not, as I wanted more. The days I did not have any I began to feel deprived and craved it even more. So started 'allowing' myself one bar per day. Mmmmmmmmm yesterday I had 3 bars.
Today I will have none, and have given myself a good talking too, it is a slippery slope and I could quite easily go downhill.
I have lots of lovely new clothes, 2 weeks ago I bought a beautiful dress from pepperberry part of the bravissimo group, which have different curvy sizes at the top to accommodate big boobs ( I have lost 2 back sizes and 2 cup sizes, having been fitted correctly a couple of weeks ago) so I still have big ones!
Rose Jacquard A-line Dress by Pepperberry
It really is lovely, and I don't want it to be too small, I have never spent that much on a dress, it was in the sale but still £55. I love the look of it and it really feels and looks lovely.
So there are lots of positives around me still, so all is not lost...........
I have been eating too much in the evenings, at the beginning of management, I thought I had it all under control, not sure why some days are better than others.
Spanglymum mentioned she had bought a SAD lamp a couple of weeks ago, and decided to give it a go too, I am sitting here for the 2nd day in front of the lamp, hoping it will have some impact on just how sad I am feeling, most days. Tearful, down, no energy, craving carbs etc, according to the write up the SAD lamp helps with all of the above.

I am concerned my depression is on its way back, my house is being neglected, I am struggling to get out of bed in the morning, lacking energy and feeling so so so tired. Got to stop it getting a grip, so trying to keep positive. There are lots of pressures I am feeling and trying to distinguish the ones that need to be done and ones that can be ignored I am struggling with.
I have not been exercising much over the last couple of weeks, but that is on my todo list for today, will go swimming shortly.
Still having some health issues, on some new medication for a bladder problem, which are helping, however there are more side affects to deal with. Asthma not too good and ear problems still with me, but actually I generally feel so much better than this time last year. I am certainly fitter, and more healthy, with lots to look forward too.
Christmas is looming, I am trying to make plans of what decisions I need to stick too, without too much pressure.......
What a long post this turned out to be! I hope to post at least a couple of times a week, and will leave my thread here rather than move it to maintenance thread.

Hope everyone is doing well and managing their strategies.
Jx

Hi Julz,
Nice to read a post from you again. I noticed that you have decided to lose another 1/2 stone. Are you going to do it by managing what you are eating? or use packs for some meals?
I am such a chocoholic. I really understand how you are struggling to keep to limits with it. I think I will find it really hard when I get to goal and can re-introduce it.
I love the dress. its gorgeous.

Hey Julz, thank you for the post. It had so much of how I'm feeling too that it's spooky! This time last year I was off work, very unwell both physically and mentally. The medication for depression was essential, but I felt so 'separate' from everything. My brain hardly functioning, every task taking forever. In four months all I managed to do each day was to eat and walk the dogs for an hour. The scary thing is, I'm on leave this week, desperately trying to get ready for Christmas, but feeling so very tired and weak getting things done is taking ages longer than I feel it should. I wake up around 5am every morning, can't go back to sleep but not inclined to get up and start doing anything. And I seem to have the attention span of a gnat! I flit from one thing to another, getting distracted, not finishing things. It's exhausting and frustrating. I've also been struggling with eating properly now I'm on two meals and two packs a day. I've eaten chocolates, nuts and a couple of mince pies. Couldn't stop the chocolate once I started which completely freaked me out. I now feel tense the whole time as the delicious sense of control I had on Total and even in the first few weeks on RTM has gone altogether. I don't feel ready for this. I don't know that I'll ever be ready. But coming here, knowing others are experiencing exactly the same lessens the sense of isolation and feelings of being a failure. Hang in there girl - we can do this, I really believe we can. Take care of yourself. Really - take very good care of yourself xxxxxx

Originally Posted by Julz

Hi Debbie
This is the first time for ages I have been on my laptop and can see your stats, well done for reaching goal. Different challenges ahead for you. My take on it all is not to put too much pressure on yourself to 'always eat what is right', I am finding the pressure too much and it is causing me some issues.
Good luck"
Jx

Thanks Jules. I have re-evaluated my target and will start RTM in the New Year. Very much different challenges ahead. I always knew that Total was the easy bit and the RTM will be the difficult bit. I'm apprehensive, but excited. A bit like when I started Total xx

OK Jules, so I'm waiting on todays update to see how you are today

Did you feel sad and depressed on total? Or is it just as Winter has set in? This time of year can be so stressful. I hope your taking good care of yourself xx

Originally Posted by eatlikeabird

Hi Julz,
Nice to read a post from you again. I noticed that you have decided to lose another 1/2 stone. Are you going to do it by managing what you are eating? or use packs for some meals?
I am such a chocoholic. I really understand how you are struggling to keep to limits with it. I think I will find it really hard when I get to goal and can re-introduce it.
I love the dress. its gorgeous.

Thanks ELAB, it is a lovely dress, lose the 1/2 stone..... going back to total for a couple of weeks from next week. I feel really big again............ This should give me a breathing space, I have enough packs left over. The chocolate is an issue, I find myself deliberately going and getting some, eating when I know I am not hungry etc, it's deliberate, can't say someone/something has upset me and I'm off to get some.
I don't know what the solution is, I have started to take some chromium supplement which is supposed to help with sugar cravings. I think if I understood a little more about the balance in food, it would be better.
I was watching Food Hospital last week and there were some ideas I picked up on there that I did not know, I checked out the website and it has lots of information.

Hope you managed to get through Christmas day without too much of an issue.

Merry Christmas everyone
Jx

Originally Posted by Debbi8489

OK Jules, so I'm waiting on todays update to see how you are today

Did you feel sad and depressed on total? Or is it just as Winter has set in? This time of year can be so stressful. I hope your taking good care of yourself xx

Hi Debbie
I seem to be putting barriers up everywhere, it's taken me days to reply, sorry.
I didn't feel sad or depressed really on total, I have had depression a couple of times over the last 15 years, mostly managed it myself but a couple of times needed medication. Became really worried about taking the medication as it will then be on your medical records and could stop you getting some jobs, but in the end had too. I have been noticing over the last 4/5 years I seem to get 'blue' in the winter, this year it was really noticeable from when the clocks changed. I have been 'fed up' trying really hard to put a brave face on at work and seeing family etc, but find myself wanting to be alone, as I can't be bothered. I am normally a positive person, but this seems to be wearing thin, this 'I can't be bothered' attitude is winning the battle more and more. I'm trying not to feel woe is me, and think I need another kick up the backside. I should be grateful for what I have in life, I am not on the street, I have a job, family etc, but ............
I have not exercised for the last 2 weeks, I know when I do I feel better, so why not do it?
My house is cluttered, I know if I tidy up I will feel better, so why not do it?
I sound like a brat.............

The SAD lamp, I think had started to make a difference, I am away for Christmas so will start it again on Tuesday evening when I get home.

Going to do total for a couple of weeks from next week, couple of reasons:
Low energy, hope it boosts me back up
No food choices to make, get my head back where it needs to be
Real problem with chocolate, eating excess, deliberately no justification, if I can't have any, should break this habit, again........
Still have a tummy ache every time I eat, regardless of content, so this should stop it
Feel bloated and fat, this should help.
I have not been able to properly identify feeling hungry/satisfied and eating, and what to do about it, either I did not understand it fully or I am just greedy, or out of control............
Want to lose another 7lbs +/-, this will get me there. Probably gained another 7 in the last week or so, have not weighed myself
Muffin top has returned
I'm not sure what has occurred that has made me lose focus, but I am looking forward to ketosis again!
Hope you are getting on ok and had a good Christmas Day

Jx

Bought some size 12 jeans in Asda a couple of weeks ago, they have lycra in them, wore them this week, decided they would be my 'fat' jeans, how crazy is that! It's as if I had given up and expect to struggle to get into my other jeans.
Decision made, when I get home, they are going in the charity bag. It is sending my brain the wrong message.
Jx

Hi Julz,
Well I told you I was a chocoholic and it hit me square in the eyes on 22nd. They gave us a xmas gift bag at work, a bottle of wine, nail polish, pen, and a selection box. I knew I should just take it out the bag and give the choc straight back but I took it home. It was sitting beside me and yes I openned the box. Ate the lot. Wine can sit in my cupboard for the next 2 years no bother but the minute I had choc in the house I had to scoff it. I did manage to refuse every offer of choc but the minute it was mine and at home it had to be eaten.
I ate for dec 24th and 25th, and I'm starting back to my mix of Total and Lite today. The xmas break will just have to do me for the next 4 months.
I'm hoping that the food will mean my January blood tests will be down again and I can resume just Total for another 6 weeks. Its alot easier to keep my head straight on just Total rather than having to mix in some Lite days.

Hi Julz, sorry you're having such a struggle at the moment. I've battled depression for years and ended up on prozac a few years ago. I think I might have a touch of SAD as well.

I've found the past couple of days a struggle, but I have managed to stick to Total 100%. Boxing Day was the worst, strangely enough. We're now down in Liverpool staying with OH's family. We're meeting friends for dinner tonight. I phoned the restuarant and for the first time, was grilled about me wanting to bring a pack along. 'It should be ok' says the manager. Er, well you're the manager mate. Is it or isnt it????

Looking forward to seeing OH's friends. Some of them havent seen me for 5 months...they will see a huge difference!!

When are you back home? xx

Oh julz I can identify with so much in your post - especially the bit about 'fat' jeans. I did exactly the same thing, but with jeggings (Lycra ahoy!) and not really recognising when you're full or hungry.

I have had depression for years without realising. It was only when it turned into severe postnatal depression that I got diagnosed. I now take 20mg Prozac a day and it is a helpful balancer, so I have chosen to stay on it for the time being. I have also got myself a SAD lamp this year, which seems to help too. For some reason, being on Total I didn't feel depressed at all! On the contrary, I had loads of energy!

I found myself out of control over Christmas this year around chocolate, sugar, bread, pastry and alcohol. Why?!! And nuts and crisps. Sore, bloated tummy and puffy face. Yet I was the one person in my LLT group last year to stay 100% over Christmas.

Hang in there. We can all support each other as we all totally understand xx

I'm hearing a lot of 'rebellious child' in all our posts. Have we focused too much on Parent (rather than Adult) while on Total, so now our Children are striking back? Just a thought.

What's the Adult view? I overconsumed over Christmas (like many of the population) and am now getting back to normal. ?

I dont know Spangly. I think it might be. Even the 'naturally slim' person at work was talking about getting back to normal after the over indulgence. She brought in marzipan sweets as she has a weakness for them, so removed them from her house so she wouldnt eat them over and above all the other crap she has eaten. Also and interestingly, she felt more bloated than normal because our weather has been so utterly rubbish she hasnt been able to take long walks on Boxing Day or New Years Day, which would normally compensate for some of it.

Julz, where are you sweetheart? xx