Shedding the lbs to find myself again ....
Right I can't count the times I written this introduction but I can tell you now this is the last time I'm writing it. I want this diary to be my most honest diary. So here goes.
Facts about me:
Height: 5ft 3
Job: Project Manager
Living with bf of 3 and a half years and puppy who is 18months old
Bought our flat a year and 4 months ago
When I met my bf I was a size 10 .... I'm now not!!
Weight: not sure!!! I last weighed and was 15.2 if I'm now 16.7 then I wouldn't be surprised.
So, the reasons why I'm doing a VLCD and not SW or WW etc. I'm a comfort eater, I eat when I'm sad, happy, angry I eat to comfort myself when I've eaten too much!!!! How silly!!! My relationship with food is not healthy!!!! I need to take good out of the occasion to deal with my own issues. I'm 23 yet I dread if friends ask to go out whether this is to go out clubbing or cinema or anything! I dread it!! Now for the really personal stuff my bf has noticed I'm not happy this for me is mortifying!!!!!! We aren't close as we used to be and this is down to me I hate him even cuddling me at the moment because I'm scared of what he will feel and that he won't like it. This is just killing me because I'm not a cold person and I am a very loving person but this weight has turned me into a cold person because I don't want people to be close to me.
So.... 1st January for me is my new start, 2014 is my year to be me again and to find myself. To find my fun side again to go out with friends and bf again. 1st January will be a bad day as I'm weighing for the 1st time in ages so I won't be happy but my plan is to weigh in then go for a lovely long doggy walk to clear my head and get my head in the game for s&s. I've tried this diet before but didn't succeed because I wasn't in the right headspace. Now I am.
My daily plan will be to have oatmeal, lunch will be protein and veg so tuna salad or something at work - we are all like sisters at work so I don't want them to see a VLCD pack not because I'm ashamed but I don't want to be watched and constantly asked how much have u lost etc I want them to go OMG you've lost weight. Dinner will be a pack then a bar with a cup of tea in the evening. Yum! I've ordered 140 items with some drink flavouring too. Literally I am not stopping till I get to goal.
Finally .... My goals. I want to have a "healthy" BMI. This means for my height I should be between 8-10 stone. So I potentially have between 6-8 stone to loose. I would probably like to be 9-9.5 stone but I'll see when I'm there. My biggest goal Is to reach my end weight and stay there. I am making a promise to myself that this will happen. I have to put myself first I need to look after myself. I will walk every single day I have booked to do the moonwalk 13 miles in May so that's something to reach for.
So that's my story!!!!
Would love to have suppose and help/tips from anyone.