i have been told off for not posting this on here so here i am ...
When i started my journey i was over 25 stones (350lbs+) i lost a bit then joined this forum when i was at 325lbs. since then as most of you will already know i've battled the bulge every single day.
On 15th november 2010 i went for my usual monthly weigh in , in my head i was telling myself i want to be 8 stone 7lbs and knowing me i would be crushed if i didnt make it so i worried all the way there, funny how even at this stage in the jouney the weigh in's still freaked me out just as much as they did at the beginning , i still sat in the waiting room feeling as if i was a death row inmate awaiting that final walk, a bit dramatic? yes!! but thats how i felt.. guaranteed everytime i came out of my appointment i was bouncing around happy but every month on the morning before the weigh in a was the most difficult person to be around...well i waited and my appointment was supposed to be at 3.20pm .. id just been to the gym that morning and on the treadmill id burnt 333 calories funny number id joked to tom , and he sed hey maybe the doc will call you in at 3.33pm (good luck comes in 3's) i said hmmm maybe.. and the doctor did call me in at that time so i guessed maybe it was MY good luck omen.
the doctor seemed pleased with all my progress so far and asked me to step on scales.. he weighed me in KG which i still dont understand so i asked him to convert it and he told me it was 8 stone 7lbs .. hearing this i was so emotional and really wanted to cry , i told the doctor this was my goal weight and that all my work built up to this, the doctor shook my hand and told me "at your age many people can achieve letters and numbers behind there names , jobs of there dreams and other things but very very few can do what you have done" and i'll never forget those words. i suppose they will live with me till the day i die.
So how does it feel??? Well of course its still not sunk in 100% , ive been using this weightloss route to life for the past two years and the switch to maintenance has almost been natural so far but its a little boring standing on the scales and reading the same all the time, so ill have to find a new goal/thing to get my highs from...
i've decided my diet (healthy eating) will continue the same but i'll just slow down on the exercise front a LITTLE.. lol.. ill still be going to the gym just not as much...maybe have a few days off a week the shock horror of it lol. i never thought id have a day off and feel okay about it but there we go.
I still cant get used to walking into a shop and not feeling the fattest person ever because clothes just wont fit.. im still instintivly grabbing those size 12 and 14 and thinking maybe i need to take these in the changing rooms JUST INCASE??..i'll still feel the inner fat person for a long time to come but for now im learning and it will take a long time i know that but what good thing has ever happened overnight? i mean i didnt loose the weight overnight and i havnt changed my life overnight so step by step is my motto.
People say to me "wow i cant imagine you being 25 stone or ever being big your so small now" and they say " realllly??!!?" as if im lieing... i dont think some people believe me but i dont care because sometimes i dont even believe it myself? lol.. ahhh when people say i should be proud i just dont understand why... i mean i got fat and i put on all that weight so why get rewarding compliments just for loosing it? i mean if i spray painted a wall in grafitti then rubbed it away would people compliment me just the same? lol..
My life has changed sooo sooo much within the last two years (it will be two years on 9th february 2011). i now have good friends great supportive people... and TWO jobs. one of which is like a dream job i work in the toning centre that was a huge part of my journey but this time im the person that greets the people that walk through the door feeling unsure unhappy and lacking confidence just as i did those few years ago..and this time its my job to help them walk out of the door feeling better about themselves just as julie my now boss did for me... & to simply put it .. I LOVE LIFE.
i'll still be around on here and facebook to support other people though and to let you all know how im doing maintaining
thankyou for everyone thats played a part in my journey i love all you guys.