Hi Kira I just found your new diary. I thought your other one had been quiet!
Well done for getting to day 18. I absolutely know what you mean about hoping the new diary will help, as you know I've done the same! I think it's helpful as we can look at this as a fresh start, a new journey to get to goal and stay there. We can learn from our past (I actually just yesterday read through most of my silver section diary) but not have to dwell on it.
I really related (as always!) to you when you said it's amazing how the feeling passes when you crave something. I think I actually totally forgot that, which is how I ballooned to my highest weight ever! But it's good to know. To be honest Kira, at least it sounds like your weight gain has been fun, as in it's through indulging at social events and being in London. That's mentally far more healthy than crazy reclusive binges. So in a weird way somewhat of a positive in there? My office has a no eating at desk policy! We hot desk and they get mice (yuck) so I think that's why. Buy people still bring crappy food in for occasions. Never bothers me though as eating in a office has always seemed unhygienic to me so not appealing, plus I think I'm good at not eating in front of people!
Anyway back to you - keep it up, it is strange that you're not having a huge loss early on, but as you said earlier you know it will work.
Also one other thing. When I read my diary, particularly from this time last year when I was in great shape appearance and exercise wise, but going through awful binge purge extremes, I really didn't realise how many times you urged me to get help. On re reading it all I felt a bit bad as I could feel your worry through the words, and could see how constantly dismissive I was, always acting like it was not a big deal. I also notice you're the one who stuck around as others seemed to stop commenting for one reason or another. Just wanted to say sorry I worried you or didn't act upon the advice readily. It really is quite scary to read it all back.
But fresh starts, fresh diaries, fresh successes here we come. Have a lovely weekend x x