I can do this!

[MrsTea]

Just found my diary from 2011. Accept and move on, have put back on 5 stone but CAN lose it as did 10 stone before!
I know I need to keep a diary, I’ve missed it actually. So here goes.

Haven’t been shopping yet, though did a 3am order for oat and wheat bran and silicone muffin tray. Will look and see if I’ve any rhubarb left in garden today. I’m being gentle on myself, no attack just 3 days PP first.
B - scrambled eggs
L - Greek yoghurt & maybe rhubarb
D - Paprika & garlic chicken
Lots of sparkling water, and black coffee as no suitable milk for my tea yet.

I am also only going to weigh once a week, a Monday morning. And another major thing is stop hiding inside from the world and get walking again. So tonight is 1 hour quiet beach walk.

 

[MrsTea]

Bit emotional reading old diary, came across a mention of my Mum and it was so poignant - the old me that had family is so different to the me now without. I feel a lot of my eating has been desperately trying to have some comfort from deep grief…I’ve found that after the first year society expects you to be over it. Ha! At times it feels as if the whole world has aunts/grannies/mums/dads/cousins and it’s incredibly lonely being me without anyone for me but with the constant responsibility of being Mum to my children. I know I’m blessed with what I do have, but it’s hard.
I now have a diagnosis of Asperger’s, and also C-PTSD, but I do still feel quietly hopeful I can find myself again. No husband any more.
On a plus point - I booked a week Royal Yachting Association Competent Crew course for next summer, really need the weight off for that!!! And, maybe, just maybe, buy myself a boat. There is a very brave me somewhere inside, let’s see if I can get her back.

 

[tipperary]

Hi @TeabagX and welcome back. I'm a returner too but not as far back as 2011. It's very quiet here but I agree, I find the diary so useful to keep track for myself, to keep me accountable regardless of anyone else reading it. I'm here nattering away most mornings. I'm sorry to hear life has been so tough and am not sure if your recent diagnosis will be a help or a hindrance to you but you do seem to be ready to have time for you now. The yachting course sounds great and excellent motivation to lose weight. And I'm jealous you have a beach to walk along, I'm originally from the coast and feel so landlocked were I live now.

 

[MrsTea]

@tipperary hi!!

I definitely feel stopping my diary was not a good idea, sounds silly but my ptsd means I have a few memory blanks and I just couldn’t remember the name Minimins to come back - I remembered it in the early hours of this morning finally. It’s really sad the site became so quiet, I know Facebook really took off and has its uses for many people but the process of diary writing can be very useful. I’ll try and find your posts more in a minute with a cuppa.

 

[MrsTea]

Tomorrow’s Food:
B - rhubarb muffin with cream cheese icing
L - garlic chicken soup
D - eggs & cold beef
S - sf jelly & yoghurt if necessary

Did really well today, took two youngest to a birthday lunch for a friend but had none of the goodies or cake…I did warn my friend I wouldn’t so she wasn’t insulted. I had rather a lot of strong black coffee though and am not used to that anymore - must get some low carb milk asap for my tea!!
2 litres of sparking water everyday

 

[MrsTea]

Still reading through the sixty-plus pages of my old diary. Definitely want my old grit back! It’s cute reading about my teens when they were wee preschoolers - every mention of them I’m like yes! I remember that! They are all taller than me now hahaha.

 

[MrsTea]

Just did a weigh for starting weight for Dukan, have lost 9lbs in last 3 weeks due to getting control of snacking etc so pleased with that. I think I might combine it with fasting, help with evenings if I just don’t eat and autophagy may help excess skin.

 

[MrsTea]

B - nothing
L - protein & salad when out with DP
D - rhubarb porridge my oat bran and wheat bran were delivered woohoo!)

Feeling ok, bit tired but that’s more my general life than this. Hoping for a peaceful day, kids are away from lunchtime and I plan a long dog walk but at the minute it’s very wet and the dog would hate me!

 

[Visualizing]

Hi. I was about years ago too and about the same time as you from about 2010 (Sunshine Singer) but under Cambridge Diet. I remember coming back years after and re-reading an old diary. It’s incredible how much our lives change over the years. You do sound strong and it’s exciting where your journey is going to take you now.

I’m also on a 5 stone mission. I started mid June and just over the stone and a half mark. Need to go weigh now as it’s 8 weeks today.

So I’m here with you lovely. You can do this.

Xxx

 

[MrsTea]

Hi. I was about years ago too and about the same time as you from about 2010 (Sunshine Singer) but under Cambridge Diet. I remember coming back years after and re-reading an old diary. It’s incredible how much our lives change over the years. You do sound strong and it’s exciting where your journey is going to take you now.

I’m also on a 5 stone mission. I started mid June and just over the stone and a half mark. Need to go weigh now as it’s 8 weeks today.

So I’m here with you lovely. You can do this.

Xxx

Thank you!! It sounds like you are doing brilliantly; it’s funny how much happier I am back here - even with it being so much quieter.

 

[MrsTea]

I’m really pleased about my meal out yesterday. We have it as takeaway and sit with the ducks watching boats go by…he had our normal fish supper and a chocolate brownie and I had ham and cheese salad, no dressing, and I picked the sweetcorn out. It was tasty and felt as lovely as always.
Today B - scrambled eggs with spinach and mushrooms
L - oat & wheat bran porridge
D - minced beef with lots of herbs, celery, kale, konjac noodles.
Snacks - cold beef/sf jelly

Planning a very gentle Sunday. Kids go back to school on Tuesday so will iron all uniform but no other housework!

 

[Visualizing]

Oh you’re reminded me I need to go order my eldest daughter blazer and skirt lol. Whoops. Off to sort now. Handy forum
Well done on your meal out. Xx

 

[MrsTea]

Oh you’re reminded me I need to go order my eldest daughter blazer and skirt lol. Whoops. Off to sort now. Handy forum
Well done on your meal out. Xx

All part of the Minimins service

 

[MrsTea]

I seem to have been incredibly hungry today, it’s been a long day. Part of my process this time will be trying not to just overeat still but low carb so it “doesn’t matter”. Yes, the weight did still drop but my psyche didn’t get to a healthy place…so I didn’t have a second bowl of dinner though I really wanted to. It’s going to be a long evening. Can’t walk dog as distraction, it’s pouring down.
Tomorrow B - blackberry oat bran/wheat bran/flaxseed porridge with soya milk
L - Mushrooms & Ham Omelette & salad
D - leftovers from last night with roasted celeriac

 

[MrsTea]

Slept badly, very tired so started day with a soya protein shake, slightly worried today that if I eat I’ll binge badly so it might be shakes all day. Not great, but better than a mountain of junk.
Taking the kids fishing, then swimming. Than work for me.

 

[Visualizing]

Maybe lots of water too. You can do this. You’ll be so proud of yourself tonight. Have a great day. Busy one here too.

 

[MrsTea]

Well I’ve got through the day quite well really. Being rushed helped - caught loads of mackerel that needed gutting/filleting for freezer on top of everything else. So after the early protein shake I’ve had scrambled eggs/cherry tomatoes/onion and then a beef & cheese salad. Don’t feel hungry at all, so can get through the rest of today till 10am tomorrow ok, which will be 20hr fast which is nice.
Tomorrow B - eggs & spinach
L - stewed rhubarb with sweetened quark
D - chicken & green beans & cauliflower, maybe a roast onion too.

Tomorrow I go and visit the village graveyard to find out exactly where our graves I recently bought are, may sound morbid but I really don’t want my adult children to have decisions to make at the height of grieving, I’d rather sort it all myself…though it’s hard emotionally on me tbh. Also, being frugal, the price is only going to go up.

 

[MrsTea]

Slept really badly, tossed and turned all night. Feel really heavy inside my body now, and joints are burning so there’ll be showers/damp weather here today. My knees are a good weather forecast! I’m going to get kids ready for school then walk the dog - though think it’ll be a slow one with how I’m feeling. Will drink plenty of water today.

 

[MrsTea]

What a farce, lost the dog lead which I’ve never done before, turned the house upside down for it which I really didn’t want to do, then went to pick kids up from school and saw it just laying in the front porch. All innocent. I must have taken it off immediately for some reason instead of putting it on the hook but argh it tired me out looking. Dog walk now longer this evening!
Food today has not been great, just not interested at all, maybe too tired? I’ve had some plain scrambled eggs (2 eggs) and a keto protein shake, but I think I’ll fast now, as I seem to be anyways lol, will be a 21.5hr fast so that’s good.

 

[tipperary]

I'm fasting 19 hours each day and my body is used to it, once you are two or three days in your body becomes so adjusted to it. I know what you mean about losing interest in food, that's why I meal prep on Sunday so something nutritious is always available even if I'm a bit blah about it I still have a really good soup available.