I feel as though I just keep gaining weight, I just want to lose a pound. One single pound. Like....
I'm even scared to go on a scale because I know i will have gained weight, literally this year I have just been eating. The crazy thing is during uni I was the smallest I have ever been. But then the final year, when I literally only studied from morning to night, eating and studying. Then I graduated and now I can't even get a job in the field that I want.
So, basically I think I eat my emotions, I watch k-drama's or should I say I binge watch kdrama's and I have gotten into this habit where I watch them but after a while I need to eat but my brain doesn't say go cook something, or eat something healthy it mainly says go and grab a packet of crisps. The big packets, or now I just put loads of little packets into one bowl and eat it.
And now I'm always tired, I sleep late and wake up early even if I don't have anything to wake up.
I am Obese now, 15 stones something the last time I weighed myself. (I can't believed I typed that) I am in denial of my weight, of how unhealthy I am. Like this fat around my body, is not doing anything good. (It's like I know its bad, I know I'm unhealthy and I am slowly killing myself and I should change and I do try but I still go back to those crisps and chocolates, why because I am lazy to prepare something.)
I just want to lose 1 pound, to stop gaining weight, to take control of my body. How come their so many people going through the same thing. How come I have been battling with the same thing almost all my life.
I'm going to be brave and weigh myself tomorrow morning. And these next seven days I am going to monitor what I eat. I remember I read this book and it said to have
5 fruits, 2/3 portions protein, 2/3 portions carbs, 0 fat/junk, 2 dairy portions...Something like that so that is what I will roughly follow.
Working out, I want to walk in the morning every single day if it's not raining. That is my challenge this week and do three workouts. I workout already but like maybe once a week or three times, it depends on if I'm motivated but it's not structured, I don't have a goal.
So, my first goal is to lose 1 pound. That is all.
I'm even scared to go on a scale because I know i will have gained weight, literally this year I have just been eating. The crazy thing is during uni I was the smallest I have ever been. But then the final year, when I literally only studied from morning to night, eating and studying. Then I graduated and now I can't even get a job in the field that I want.
So, basically I think I eat my emotions, I watch k-drama's or should I say I binge watch kdrama's and I have gotten into this habit where I watch them but after a while I need to eat but my brain doesn't say go cook something, or eat something healthy it mainly says go and grab a packet of crisps. The big packets, or now I just put loads of little packets into one bowl and eat it.
And now I'm always tired, I sleep late and wake up early even if I don't have anything to wake up.
I am Obese now, 15 stones something the last time I weighed myself. (I can't believed I typed that) I am in denial of my weight, of how unhealthy I am. Like this fat around my body, is not doing anything good. (It's like I know its bad, I know I'm unhealthy and I am slowly killing myself and I should change and I do try but I still go back to those crisps and chocolates, why because I am lazy to prepare something.)
I just want to lose 1 pound, to stop gaining weight, to take control of my body. How come their so many people going through the same thing. How come I have been battling with the same thing almost all my life.
I'm going to be brave and weigh myself tomorrow morning. And these next seven days I am going to monitor what I eat. I remember I read this book and it said to have
5 fruits, 2/3 portions protein, 2/3 portions carbs, 0 fat/junk, 2 dairy portions...Something like that so that is what I will roughly follow.
Working out, I want to walk in the morning every single day if it's not raining. That is my challenge this week and do three workouts. I workout already but like maybe once a week or three times, it depends on if I'm motivated but it's not structured, I don't have a goal.
So, my first goal is to lose 1 pound. That is all.