Jo's success story

[Chartreuse]

Hi Jo, I'm a lurker more than a poster, but I just wanted to say thanks for this thread. As well as helping you by reviewing your experiences and relationship with food, it's really helping me to read it. A lot of what you say really resonates. Thanks.

 

[Jo1989]

Aww thats good to hear, I think it makes it seem easier to overcome knowing you're not the only one who feels a certain way.

How are you getting on? Are you on SS too?

 

[Chartreuse]

Yes, SS, just starting my 4th week. Coping ok at the moment but a little afraid of a future slim me, so need to work on that. I don't know who I am if I'm not that warm, soft, rounded person. Happily, the amount I have to lose, I'll have time to get my head around it as I go along. Hope you continue this thread, I'm finding it really interesting.

 

[Jo1989]

Congratulations on doing so well so far. I completely agree the real challenge will be changing habits and emotional eating for life.

I'm planning on keeping my diary throughout SS and then through maintenance so that I'm focusing as much on my maintenance as I am on the loss, as thats going to be the rest of my life, and I don't want to end up here again.

The prospect of maintaining a slim self is absolutely terrifying, but not as terrifying as the alternative; unhappiness repeating itself throughout the rest of our lives.

It's so worth it!

 

[Jo1989]

While I'm really pleased to have reached my first SS goal, today I'm feeling really really frightened about maintenance. The plan itself isn't whats hard for me, it's the thought of maintaining. I just can't get my head around the idea of being an 11 stone, size 10-12 attractive woman with a BMI of 22 for the rest of my life.

Its really really upsetting, and its so silly! I know that once I'm at goal, and going to the gym for 3-4 days a week, I'll be able to eat 2500 calories a day (because I'm tall and my metabolism reacts really well to exercise) and maintain my weight, because I did it when I was 18.

And yet those 2500 calories don't feel like enough, because I have a real issue with crisps - before I restarted on plan I was probably eating 1500-2000 calories worth of crisps a day which meant any proper extra food was pushing me over an acceptable allowance, obviously leading to weight gain. 2500 calories worth of food is actually a lot, and really satisfying, but not with all those crisps.

I need to start eating proper meals once I'm off plan, rather than crisps and takeaways and chocolate, which is pretty much all I was eating before. Once I start maintaining, I'm going to keep a food diary, and calorie count during the week and be a bit looser with myself during the weekend.

I also probably need to face up to the fact that rather than spending the next 8 weeks on SS, and then only having 3 weeks to go up the steps before my wedding, I probably need to come off SS at least 4 weeks before the wedding so I can spend at least a week on each step, otherwise being on honeymoon will send me off the rails. I have to do this properly this time and that's a scary thought too.

 

[Jo1989]

Today was a good day - 2 days of my stage 2 28days down!

I feel like I had a major breakthrough last night. I realised that while I've totally committed to SS and been 100% on it, I hadn't committed to permanent loss, and the only way to do that is to go through the steps.

Ultimately, I want to get down to 11 stone, and I was thinking I'd do another 8/9 weeks on SS and then have a couple of weeks off before my wedding, but I know that'll result in me bingeing, as I won't have got used to a diet that includes good healthy food in moderate portions.

So, I saw my CDC tonight, and told her I'm doing 4 more weeks on SS, followed by 1 week on Step 2, and 2 weeks each on Steps 3,4 and 5. That way, I'll become used to calorie counting and only using calories on filling food, something I'm just not doing normally. I should still more or less hit my goal of 11 stone, and more importantly, I won't immediately put back on half a stone of water weight, and I won't feel the need to go crazy on food.

I'm scared of the steps, I really am, but I know I have to do them to succeed this time.

 

[Jo1989]

Four days down of stage 2 of my plan! Only 24 more days on SS before I take control of my life, start moving through the steps and begin maintaining for the rest of my life, which I'm so excited about!

Yesterday and today were really good days, and at lunch time I went out with my team and watched 18 people eat burger/chips, panini/chips, nachos, etc, etc! I didn't even want the food I just sipped my drink and felt gorgeous in my skinny work trousers. I feel great and people are commenting I look great too, so I'm a happy bunny, chips or no chips!

This plan is so mindset based, and now I know I'm committed to the steps and long term maintaining my fear of the weight loss seems to be gone, as I know I won't be letting myself down.

 

[Jo1989]

Feel a bit fidgety today, and that's making me want to eat! Crazy really. I also feel quite tired and woozy so that's probably contributing.

Booked Monday off next week so a four day week will help me focus as I find the plan easier when I'm at home, the following week I'm in London for two days which means I should be busy and the last week of SS is also a four day week with bank hols so hopefully that time will pass quickly.

Just want to move on to maintenance really but if I do that now without following my plan to do a few more weeks sole source I think it'll throw me off, and I won't feel I've lost enough and will end up back on SS before my wedding.

Just having an impatient today!

 

[Halebob]

Hey jo. Havr read through your diary. What you said about being scared gor maintenance really resonates with me. I've been on diets for the last 7 years and never managed to lose more than 2 stone. I lose my will power and fall back into old habits. Sometimes I think the fear of not bring fat and hating what I see in the mirror scares me because that's all I know now.
What you said about your weight not controlling you anymore is a great way of thinking and I'm going to steel it
You've really thought everything through and send like you have a solid plan in mind.
I'm only on day 4 so got to grt to grips with the plan then think about what I'm going to do to have a healthier relationship with food.
Keep at it. You're doing fantastic

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[Jo1989]

So, I'm almost through day 6 of my second stage of weight loss, and 31 days on SS 100%

Feeling quite restless tonight, but in a good way, because I'm just thinking lots about maintenance and how excited I am to begin to work on it. Read on another thread that successful maintenance is a fluctuation of 3% from goal weight - which in my case, at goal, will be between 4-5lbs. I really like that idea, that I should keep track and not worry about the odd lb up or down, but limit myself to a 4lb gain. If I stick to that, if I do have a gain on maintenance, I'll just need to eat a bit less for a few weeks to get back to goal.

I need to do SS to get to a point to work up the steps and maintain, but this bit of the plan is not my focus, my focus is first on the steps, then long term maintaining. I need to approach my weight maintenance in the same way I approach everything else (career, relationship, etc); with vigour and doing my absolute best at all times. If I put half that energy into maintenance I'll be fine. I'm excited

 

[bettiesrevenge]

That's such a positive way of looking at it. I think that maintenance is the most critical part of the plan. Certainly where everything went wrong for me!

I've tried modified steps and honestly they don't work. You have to be absolutely methodical... I know you will be!!!

 

[Jo1989]

I'm just trying to look at every part of this as positive; a positive choice to be on a plan, great feelings from successfully completely the steps, and enjoying maintenance after that. If I see this and post plan as a chore, I won't stick to it.

I hope you've had a good day so far today

 

[Nikie]

Definitely reading your diary with interest...especially with regards to moving up the steps! I'm going to italy for three days on 14 June...I could potentially be nearing 11 stone then and I don't want to undo all my hard work :/

 

[Jo1989]

Yeah I really do feel maintenance will be the challenge for me. The first time round I was 100% on SS for 13 weeks and then Step 2 for 2 weeks and just convinced myself I didn't need the steps despite it being clear that those who keep the weight off always do the steps.

I also felt I could go back to eating whatever I wanted, and in fact, probably ate more than I had before, as being slim kind of made me feel I was immune to weight gain. So utterly ridiculous but a great lesson learnt.

This time I'm humble and doing what I'm told, and will be taking maintenance one day at a time, as that's how I manage to stick to 100% on this.

 

[Nikie]

Jo, I couldn't agree more! I did SS 100% for eight weeks previously.....then I had one night 'off' for an awards dinner....then back on 100% and then a week off for my birthday party. I felt amazing and just didn't go back on it properly. And it was such a waste as between the end of November and beginning of Jan I actually only gained 8lbs, so had I gone back on it and worked through the steps I would have been at goal and maintaining instead of going through all this again!

We live, we learn?

I am very concerned about it if I'm honest :/ Only I can do it properly and learn from my previous mistakes. I really think having some SS+ meals has helped this time as it won't be such a shock to the system when I work up the steps.

 

[Jo1989]

I love this plan for weight loss, I really do, but the trouble is we think of SS as the hard part and assume maintenance will be easy comparatively, but actually, as people who have no control over food, SS is easy because it removes that control. Its when the choice comes back we struggle.

I'm scared of it too, but that's partly the reason I started this diary, because part of treating maintenance like SS is keeping a diary as I have been on SS, and documenting my thoughts, my difficulties and my successes. I really hope to keep posting here until I've been stable on maintenance for a very long time, and I hope being a bit more public about my weight struggles will help me feel accountable.

 

[Jo1989]

I've had a weird uneasy feeling all day yesterday and all day today, which I would normally bury with food, but obviously that isn't an option at the moment! Not sure whats going on at the moment but I do have quite a few things going on in my life that aren't bad but all together are quite stressful, so maybe thats it. Regardless, food won't make me feel better. Had a day holiday today to do some exam revision so maybe I just need to get back to the structure of the office! Kind of looking forward to it ha.

I know I'm not at all tempted to come off plan, because yet again, I've had about 200 chocolate bars and 3 multipacks of crisps in the house for the work tuck shop since Friday evening - if I was at all tempted, I've have given in!

I've now all but completed 33 days of my planned 53 days on SS, so very proud of myself for that. Lost 1st 9lbs in that time which is more or less exactly what I hoped for, so thats great. Only 20 days til I start on the steps. Maybe thats part of what is making me uneasy, because its kind of terrifying knowing I need to be successful on the steps and have never done that before. Excited but very scared.

 

[Jo1989]

Being back at work today after an extra day off is hard, as I'm a bit tired and woozy and feeling quite weak, which obviously, I would normally treat with 2 bars of chocolate!

I also feel quite uneasy still and I think its due to a combination of the following- we're selling a house we're hoping to complete on this month but no confirmation yet, we're moving flats in 3 weeks as our landlord is selling, I'm trying to finish revision for an exam I'm taking in two weeks and getting married in 10 weeks! Each thing by itself is small but all together it feels like a lot going on and I'd normally medicate and numb myself with a load of food! Of course, the food wouldn't actually make it better, but its still a huge adjustment to just feel my emotions instead of squashing them.

I'm staying strong food wise but it'd be a lie to say I'm not feeling really uncomfortable emotinally!


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[Halebob]

You have a lot going on in a short space of time. Try and treat yourself. If you can shut yourself off and read a book for a few hours. Or have a relaxing bath. Or whatever you do to chill
I'm finishing uni while organising the wedding. Luckily I'm really organised with it and in a few weeks no more essays and I can finish off the last bits.
My dissertation was due in before easter so at least that's out of the way.
When I was writing it I had a day where I refused to get dressed or do anything and just had a lazy relaxing day.
We all need time out to let our minds just zone out from the real world.


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[Jo1989]

Yeah the trouble is, I don't ever switch off!

I'm super organised and in control but totally out of control with food. Part of the problem will all of the stuff going on is I can't do anything about it, I just have to wait and let things happen and I find that really difficult.

Still, once its all done its all positive, and we'll be going to the wedding relaxed and happy!