Kats cambridge diary - first timer

[Clinquant]

growing up i had this cousin and we were always kind of similar, but when she was about 22 she lost all her weight and has managed to keep it off forever. i just saw a pic of her on fb and it pissed me off lol. i wasnt annoyed with her but with myself. i have wasted so much time and now i am HHHHUGE and i have so much weight to lose it seems completely insurmountable i have already done well on this i just hope i can stick it out. i was so jealous, she wont have the hideous skin problems that i am looking at when i have lost weight. why did i let myself get like this? grrrr

I have had so many thoughts like this but we can only deal with ourselves and only where we are now. I'm so annoyed sometimes that I waited until my 40s to really get to grips with this. But then, I think how many people don't have the opportunity, resources and resilience to ever do this. It's not been easy but this isn't something for other people; it's something for us and even being overweight rather than obese is amazing and so worth it. Motivate yourself with the positive - I'm sure you can do this.

And get away from that chocolate as soon as you can - there's willpower and there's too much to bear

Have a good day.

 

[katsparkle]

yes indeed. i keep on thinking why am i doing this and i should just give up, but if i give up i will spend the rest of my life wishing i was thinner so there is no point giving up, whatever way i lose weight is going to be really hard so i think why not this way, at least ther esults are fairly quick, so im keeping at it. i mean these thoughts of giving up are just fleeting for the most part i am strong. been super strong today so i am happy. if at my next weigh in i suck then i might take a day off and start again. btu i dont think i will, this will be a good week i can feel it!!!

 

[Jo1989]

I think the trouble is for me, one day off ends up being 2 days and 'I might as well give it a week'. Stick to it 100% and the weight WILL come off in the end, its basic science that it has to! Even if you have a couple of difficult weeks, it doesn't mean you body won't catch up a week after.

I just keep thinking I don't want to spend the next weeks/months/years feeling miserable, and then wishing I'd started a week/month/year earlier!

 

[katsparkle]

exactly, my whole problem is i should have started this last year, well i didnt, i need to get over that and just keep with it, i heard something i cant remember who said it but it was never let how long something takes stand in the way of your dreams (or something to that effect) - the time will pass anyway. so next week will pass whether i am dieting or not, th eonly difference is I could be half a stone lighter or half a stone heavier at the end of it, thats actually the difference of a stone, becaus eyou can bet your life if i came off plan that i wouldnt stay the same, i put on weight really easy. so yeah i have been 100% today, not even tasting the amazing dinner i made for my family which was a thai fish curry with potato saffron rice and my god it smelled amazing, but i had to ask my husband how it tasted because i didnt even try it for salt. so im pleased with myself today, and heres to another 100% day tomorrow. thanks for the straight talkign and tough love lol. it really helps

 

[Jo1989]

Thats exactly right, time won't wait for you, and if you stick to it 100% you'll feel so proud of yourself next weigh in! Just forget everything you have or haven't done in the past and decide that this time you'll get it right.

 

[katsparkle]

you too jo! we can do this!

 

[katsparkle]

day 3 of 100% again, i must say it feels good being on ss again, with only 4 shakes, but my mind is stronger this way, when i introduce food into the situation I dont seem to be able to make any progress. I am still looking forward to monday weigh in just hope it will hurry up and get here already

 

[Jo1989]

Well done! I'm exactly the same, I prefer not having any choice as otherwise I push the limit (and go over!) of what I should have.

 

[katsparkle]

not looking forward to this weekend, 4 days of family home before they all go back to doing what they do and i get my life back lol. I suck at people and i suck on this diet when other people are around, I just noticed how much people eat all the damn time.

I have been cooking like a fiend this week. I made like 2 lasagnes and 8 freezable portions of pork corry and chinese pork - the day before that I made 12 freezable portions of food. so at least now i dont have to cook for a while and cooking is a really nice distraction. right now i am making easter cookies with my kids. then i will have to think of something else to make lol

 

[Jo1989]

I hope you manage to stay strong katsparkle! Thing is, there are so many events over the spring/summer and so many reasons our little diet devil can give us to slip.. But think how proud you'll be on Tuesday if you've stuck 100% and how that'll show you've really cracked it for the future. Food is just not worth it! You'll feel uneasy eating and then awful next week for sabotaging yourself. Just one day at a time and soon the weekend will be over.

 

[katsparkle]

i suck!

i was completely fine until about 6 this evening. i said to my hub i didnt want to go to his family this weekend and he basically emotionally blackmailed me into it. i stayed strong all day and then i just got really irritable and hungry, i drank 4 pins of water but it wouldnt go away so i had a patty thing that i made then when we got home i had another one, then i had a biscuit and some chocolate. urgh

i think my time of the month is coming which might explain it.

also i have decided to move my weigh day to fridays because the first 2 days after weigh in i am super motivated so i figured if those were weekend days then that would help. then i am on my own all week until the weigh in. i just think sunday nights are almost impossible for me, and i was good all week. gah.

 

[katsparkle]

ok ao yesterday i was ss, and today i almost was, i had a little ham and some mozarella, it wasnt awesome, but i am all out of shakes for the night and so im skipping my last one of 4 to make up for the stuff i ate. i get weighed again friday and so I need to stay ss for the next 2 days, it should be easy??? lol

 

[Jo1989]

Could've been a lot worse! You're already most of the way to SS. Just stay strong tonight, and keep trying tomorrow!

 

[katsparkle]

im actually better when i know im done for the day, its that whole, i can have something in a couple of hours that makes things worse

 

[Jo1989]

Yes, its easier knowing you're done and feeling you've finished the day. Keep going and judging by your losses you'll have another amazing one on Friday!

 

[katsparkle]

my friend has decided to do cambridge aswell, she is going to come with me on friday to my weigh in, she is one of the few people who know my weight so i dont mind lol. she is a fair bit smaller than me, but has been inspired by my losses, everyone keeps telling me how amazing i look so that is helping a lot, i have gone from being someone who got out of breath just walking to a normal human being again. im still wearting the same clothes but they are significantly looser. I have 2 days til my weigh in, and im alone for those 2 days apart from the evenings where i will just go for a walk while my family are eating, this afternoon i am going to do some cleaning as that always keeps me motivated too. my house looked so nice last week but now my yard is blocked off because they have scaffolding up against the back door and so i cant dry any clothes and the washing is piling up! drying stuff inside takes forever and depresses me lol. anyway. i have already drunk 1.5 litres of water today and if nothing else i am going to keep my water intake up, but i am feeling pretty strong today. being aroundmu husband definitely doesnt help lol

 

[Clinquant]

Morning. You sound very positive today. Will be good to have the support of a friend along and you have done it enough on your own terms not to be derailed if she doesn't stick with it.

Took about 3 stone for other people to notice the difference in me but the difference on the knees and moving about was almost instant. I think it's as much to do with giving up sugar as it is the actual weight loss. But things just keep getting easier - I'm amazed at how much easier so many things are.

Hope you have a great day.

 

[katsparkle]

wow you are doing so well, I started at 136 kg and now i am 119, my friend is aussie so i convert it for her all the time, plus it sounds less than lbs lol. I cannot wait until I am under 100kg - it seems like it might never happen sometimes, and then when i think it might happen i tend to freakout even more lol.

why am i so afraid of losing weight???

 

[Jo1989]

I think when someone is used to being overweight its kind of like a defence against everyone and everything. When you lose weight people really start to notice you, and that's actually oddly uncomfortable.

We all feel frightened of it or we wouldn't have these problems! Just keep thinking about how being overweight makes you feel compared to slim and healthy and gorgeous and your mind will catch up with your shrinking body!

 

[poko]

Sounds like you're doing really well,Kat. A positive attitude and keeping busy does wonders. I'm sure you will get below 100kg and I bet you'll feel great and wonder why you were ever afraid.

Keep positive. You can definitely do it!