Siezing the day... whatever the day may bring !

[LadyT]

I know what you mean, my son was bitten by his grans dog, not on one occasion but twice. I was furious and would have liked something done for my child not to be out in that position again, unfortunately the dog meant more to her than my son and she blamed him for the attacks. So the dog stayed!!!! My son has scares on his face from it which thankfully are hardly noticeable now he is a grown man. Thankfully you are being responsible about the situation as hard as it must be for you to deal with... xx

 

[Julslynne]

Awe. I'm so sad to hear the news about your doggie. Hope you find a lovely home for him. I know what u mean about staffy's though. They are not known to be good with other dogs. Luckly Jodie with me wants to fuss everything she sees and she is marvellous with the OH's grandchildren. Thank god. Take care Hun and well done on your 6lb weight loss. Xxxxxx

 

[Clarabow]

Thanks both, yes unfortunately so Lynne can be a quirk of the breed. I had mine as a rescue dog when he was 18 months and despite encouragement to socialise the attitude to other dogs not of his pack is terrible. My last rescue staff had no interest in other dogs at all! Puppy next time I think so I have more control over temparament when it is growing up. xx

ps.

 

[Julslynne]

Defo. Good luck choosing a puppy. Oooooo exciting. Xxxxx

 

[gracielou09]

Sorry not posted sooner, been away and just catching up on diaries...so a belated Welcome!

Firstly, a massive well done on your weightloss hun. 1 stone in 2 weeks ..pretty impressive!!!

Aw I really feel for you re: your dog. What an awful situation, but your right a little one comes first ...hard though...could you not mussel him when he's out in teh garden? Not nice for him but would be safer. Just a thought chick.

I have 2 cocker spaniels and they hate Bob the dog next door but dont mins Max the other side ...weird. My 2 are all mouth lol, they bark at other dogs while hiding behind our legs haha.

This diet is very windy, if you know what I mean, never experienced anything quite like it! But unlike yours mine does come out (sorry to graphic I know). When my daughter was a baby she suffered with Colic so we bought colief and moved her legs like she was on a bike ...it worked lol.
It is very painful though!!

Looking forward to reading about your journey
xx

 

[weebles]

A little late here, so forgive me.
Great job on your loss this week.
Sorry to hear about needing to rehome your puppy I can understand why though...your emotions must be all over the place right now.
I really don't know what else to say as my eyes have filled up with tears for you both. I get so emotional over animals - just adore them all.

 

[Gembritney]

well done on ur loss hun thats fab... sorry to hear about ur dog x

 

[Clarabow]

Thanks ladies, hangin on in there and making the most of the time that I have him. In the process of putting up adverts and contacting people for him. :sigh:

Had a horrendous fall off the wagon yesterday, wont say what it was but it was the food of the devil for me. Managed however to get right back on this morning, though feel as if I had a food hangover. Trigger was having something hugely, hugely stressful in work to do, being a social worker I wont go into details but it was awful. I was doing really well all day till it came to being in the car driving to this confrontation. Then I felt that I just had to have something to eat to keep me going and to get me through what I was going to do.

It was my favorite fallback drug of choice that can be eaten in the car and out of sight of everyone. I had talked to myself about it, pros and cons and still went ahead and did it. It was if I needed a buffer against me and the world and food was going to be that protective shield. How mad! Food has been such a comfort and a crutch over my whole life that it can be awfully hard to put it to one side when it is so effective at zoning me out.

However I am not going to let it get to me. It happened and its over. END OF. On a positive note I am doing something about putting my relationship with food and feelings on a better track. I am having private one to ones with a life coach/management consultant to help me sort out difficulties that usually stress me out in work. I have had three sessions now and things are going well. She also helps me with my relationship with food, and has given me a work book to work through. Looking forward to that, if it's any good I'll share about it on here.

Most positive i've been in ages. So onwards and downwards ladies and the odd gent. Have a great bank holiday.

 

[LadyT]

That's a tough job I have so much respect for you it takes a special person to do it! As for the blip it's done and you obviously want to tackle the problem with a life coach so a massive pat on the back! I think you are doing all the right things to make a lifetime commitment to how you deal with food in the future.

Well done lovely xx

Sent from my iPhone using MiniMins

 

[Julslynne]

Your job is so tough. I know cause I'm a nurse myself and work closely with social workers. Don't beat yourself up about your lapse. We are all human at the end of the day. Just get back on the wagon and roll on and downwards chickaloo. Sending hugs. Hope you have luck finding a lovely home for your gorgeous staffy. I feel for you hun having a stuffy myself. Xxx:-DxxX

 

[Clarabow]

Thanks ladies,
Got right back on the wagon yesterday and is moving swiftly on. I am lucky I dont do regrets, I muck up acknowledge the mistake and move on. Besides I get too busy beating myself up about other things to deal with guilt lol

In a very determined place this time round. I have painful arthritis in one of my knees and with the weight I am finding it hard to walk on occasion. I refuse to be stuck in a corner unable to move so the weight is comming off. END OF! Pain is a great motivator, but the thought of being helpless and not able to walk is even greater. One of my greatest fears was to be the fat lady in the corner so overweight she cant move. I will not let that happen, while I have breath in my body to do something about it.

Lighter life is the only way that I have found to reliably and consistenly shift a large amount of weight. I have tried every diet under the sun and loose a stone maybe two then I drift off. First time round I lost 5st, an unheard of achievement for me. I was lighter than I had been for 20 years. I found it a strange place to be in as I had a lot invested in being the big, bouncy, outgoing personality that I had created to keep me safe. I was very active in the Big Beautiful Women community and used to go to loads of social stuff, where the larger lady was adored. Being not a bad looking larger lady I had plenty of attention lol I found it very hard to cope with being slimmer. Loosing so much weight felt traiterous tomy firmly held belief that that Big is Beautiful, as I do believe Big is Beautiful as there are some stunning larger ladies out there. Curves are where it is at! Damn it that I wasn't born when Rubens was around I would have been the heigt of fashion. I could have been carried around in a sedan chair with hunky, burly porters, my bad knee wouldn't have been a problem.

Unfortunately however, to my cost I have found big isn't always healthy, and as I have got older health has most definitely become an issue I can no longer ignore. I'm finding that a lot of my friends from the BBW scene are facing the same issues. Many have had gastric bypasses and gastric bands, to varying degrees of success I have to say. Operations are not the quick fix that they are touted to be and some of the after effects are life long and quite unpleasant. So while I can do it this way I will do it this way and hopefully sort out my shocking relationship to food along the way. I firmly belive that until I get a better grip on that any weight loss option is doomed to failure. Did you know you can put all your weight back on even with a gastric bypass ?

Anyway not sure where that little ramble came from lol Onwards and downwards ladies and have a great Easter xx

 

[UmmZakaria]

Wow what a stressful job you have - complete and utter respect Congrats on coming back to LL - sounds like your heads ready for it too now. Good luck x

Sent from my iPhone using MiniMins

 

[Julslynne]

My fear Clara is being one of those patients ( poor sods) that take 2 bed areas up in order that the gantry hoist can fit into. I've nursed some very large patients in my time and I vowed wasn't going to end up like that. I'm not labelling them as this would be judgmental , it's just my personal feelings. Hope your having lovely day hun. Xxx:-DxxX

 

[Carly79]

Scarlily juls those patients are even now in my world of paediatrics... It does have an impact on you not because you are judging but i guess because no other job really allows "access all areas" into others lives...good or bad!

 

[HannahNewton]

I found it a strange place to be in as I had a lot invested in being the big, bouncy, outgoing personality that I had created to keep me safe.

I know what you mean - when fat becomes our whole identity. My fat brain is still trying to catch up with the changes in my body and I lost most of my weight last year!!

You have come a very long way realising and acknoweldging this, which really will help you move forward.

Health is a great motivator to keep going, feeling really well, having energy to move and chosing to do what we want with our lives - powerful stuff.

I sometimes think we dont believe we deserve to have those things. But we do and we dont have to be stuck in the corner wearing our fat coat as a shield to keep away the rest of the world.

You have done so well to pick yourself up and get back on the wagon. Easier said than done, but we do learn from our blips!! xx

 

[Clarabow]

Thanks for that Hannah.

 

[UmmZakaria]

How are you doing chick? Hope that your week has picked up a bit? xx

 

[Clarabow]

Morning Zakira,
Thanks for stopping by. Yes things have improved. Although Thursday was a tough day to get through, we had an absolutely magnificent outcome and I am really proud of the work that me and my team did to achieve it.:family2::happy036: Next week will be a bit of a stinker as it will be tackling the paper work to support the work we undertook. Ho Hum, but it was worth it.

Back on the wagon since then and sailing through Easter. Get thee behind me chocolate delelights I neither want you or need you ! Hope your weekend is going well.

Onwards and downwards my lovely xx

 

[Karamac]

Hi Clara

I think you're amazing to resist chocolate. One of the good things about being out in Saudi is that they don't 'do' Easter so I'm not tempted. I have a beauty salon and when I had the salon in England clients used to bring me Easter eggs. It was so lovely of them but so bad for me - I'm a total chocolate addict! I can only think of one Easter where my resolve was firm and I took all the eggs down to the local hospice. I think that every other year I must have eaten each and every one of them!!

I really know what you mean about not wanting to be the fat old lady in the corner. It's one of my biggest fears. I've found myself, over the past few months (whilst I was 'preparing my head' for LL) looking at elderly people and trying to decide whether they look happier when they're thin or fat! I've decided to set my goal weight at what would still be considered to be 'overweight' - BMI of 26.4 - but I think I'll be happy at that weight. If not, I can always lose more!!

I really do believe that big is beautiful - just not TOO big as it just isn't healthy. Marilyn Monroe had a perfect shape, in my opinion and yes, those Botticelli women were beautiful but I think, in my head, I imagined that they were the size 24 that I used to be and not the size 16/18 that they probably were

As for gastric bands etc - well, I was SERIOUSLY considering having one done before I came onto LL this time. It's just so easy here - no counselling or anything, just pay your money and wham, bam, thank you ma'am! But one of my clients is a nurse and she only had to say one sentence to completely put me off the idea. She said "Ooh, no - do you know you'd NEVER be able to drink champagne again?"! Apparently you're not allowed 'bubbles' of any sort if you have a band. No champagne? Sack that! I'll stick to LL and make my choices once I've lost the weight, thank you very much!!!

Have a great day!

 

[Clarabow]

Morning Karen,

My GP was angling for me to have a gastric band, and had gone as far as making the referral. It came back that whilst I was certainly FAT enough, I was not ill enough. Apparently high blood pressure and poor mobility are not enough, go figure lol. I had huge reservations about a band anyway as I have seen people eat round both bands and bypasses. The issue is in our heads not in out stomacks after all. You have put the tin hat on it now a life without fizz forget it!!

No surprise with the beauty salon with such a glam picture. Have a good day x